Depression Learning

Teen Endo

Question:

. What about the girl’s mother? That is not an option, unfortunately, as she signed away her rights to her when she was a baby–she was very young and desperate  to get out of an abusive relationship.  She had no way of supporting the child, and he threatened to harm her if she took the baby with her.

This might be her opportunity to do the right thing by the girl and get her own back on the ex-husband too.  If she’s paying child support then she must have the means of supporting her directly now.  The man has a new baby to possess and might not be bothered any more, unless he really does want the child support to pay for the new baby!  And denying the girl access to medical assistance is abuse, so he’d be likely to loose custody, no? Be careful he doesn’t get to know how you help the girl – he sounds a nasty piece of work. Diane In England, so no expert on US custody law! —

Response:

I am thinking too much here, and I have some thoughts to share. When I was I teen, my periods were torture and I got really depressed and crancky.  My grades were effected because I missed so much school. I am just wondering how many families are coming down hard on their "Raging Hormone teens" without even asking them if they are IN PAIN!

SNIP The worst part is that the parents do not trust their own children.  Why would they LIE?  To get attention?  maybe they NEED attention.  They are not like puppies to care for when they are little and then ignore when they are old enough to feed and dress themselves.  That is why there are laws to keep teens living with their parents until they are 18. Well, just a vent, I guess. Love hugs and kisses, Jenny

I had very bad periods from day one (at age 9).  Unfortunately I also hated school with a passion and made no secret of the fact.  When I told my mother I was in pain she told me to go to the school nurse.  However, at many schools the nurse is not always in, so I just had to suffer.  By age 16 when I was going the hospital emergency ward every month I was finally sent to a specialist.  He informed my mother that if I did indeed have endo it was VERY painful and that it had been cruel of her to send me to school.  Boy, did she feel guilty (I’m 23 and she still feels that guilt). I don’t blame my mother at all for what she did.  I played sick a lot right from Kindergarten and when the doctors couldn’t find anything wrong with me what was she supposed to think. Please don’t be too hard on parents, after all, nobodys perfect. Paige

Response:

Hi Jenny,    You are a sweetie!!!  Here you are in such pain and having problems, and still willing to open your heart and help another.   That’s great.      You just keep being there for her when you can. At least she knows she has you and you believe in her and support her.  That is a lot!!!!  When she is grown, on her own, and living a good life, she will look back at you and realize how important you were in her life.  That you cared and did what was within your power to help her-that you felt she was worth helping!  (I didn’t have the best childhood, and the few adults that took me under their wing and made me feel special and cared for, still have a  spot in my heart, especially now that I realize exactly what they did for me, then).    Know that you are doing more for her than you realize, sweetie. Take Care Sherry K – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -I am thinking too much here, and I have some thoughts to share. When I was I teen, my periods were torture and I got really depressed and crancky.  My grades were effected because I missed so much school. I am just wondering how many families are coming down hard on their "Raging Hormone teens" without even asking them if they are IN PAIN! I know my parents just thought that I was a mental case, and doing it on purpose to destroy their marriage.  The Drs just said that I was faking to get attention, and now i found out that my GYN (that did my surgery when I was 14 and said there was nothing wrong with me) has actually been sued for leaving sponges in people and walking out in the middle of surgery! This really makes me wonder if this is really common!  I know a teen right now that has been in the hospital three times for pain with ovulation.  Her parents think that it is stress, but I think it is Endo.  She has all the signs of IBS, and chronic fatigue and depression.  I tried to tell her parents, but they do not want to hear it. They don’t even believe the Dr that suspects endo, and she has even told the parents that her stress levels are from living in their home! (They are a step family with another baby on the way and they are really ignoring her as much as possible.) She comes to me and crys on my shoulder.  I know that she is not happy in her home life, her dad has been married 4 times.  Her step mother is pregos and REALLY hard on her.  Money is tight and they are suing her mother for more child support which makes her feel like they expect HER mother to pay for their new baby. It is hard to see someone that young in pain.  I only wish that somehow I could convince her father to allow her to take SOMETHING for pain.  He won’t even allow her to take tylonol.  I know it is wrong, but I give her pamprin occassionally.  At least she has me (that is when her father lets her leave her house–she stays grounded to her room for days on end for being moody) to come to and cry with.   I just know that this is happening all over the world.  These girls are called trouble makers, and kept grounded for their "attitude problems" when their real problem is PAIN. The worst part is that the parents do not trust their own children.  Why would they LIE?  To get attention?  maybe they NEED attention.  They are not like puppies to care for when they are little and then ignore when they are old enough to feed and dress themselves.  That is why there are laws to keep teens living with their parents until they are 18. Well, just a vent, I guess. Love hugs and kisses, Jenny

Response:

I think it’s great that you’re helping this girl out.  I’m still a teen and started having pain at 11.  I also know what it’s like to get pushed aside for having pain.  My mom never thought I was making it up, it was teachers at school who did.  Most of my female teachers were the one’s saying deal with it, we all do.  Last year I even had a teacher fail me on a test because I was in so much pain I couldn’t go to school.  Since I’ve been diagnosed I’d love to show up and make her apologize. I’m sure it does put you in an awkward position when she’s in so much pain and you’re the only one to help her.  I would keep it up, it’s sounds like you’re the only person she really has. Amber

Response:

When I was crying and in pain as a teenager, my mother did her best to try and help me, but didn’t understand how it could hurt that bad.  She never took me to a doctor, thinking it was all just "normal" pain.  She let me stay home from school if I needed to but I think she thought I was exaggerating.   And thinking it was all normal, I never complained to a medical professional until I was 26, when a nurse practioner suggested I might have endo. when I told her how the tylenol no longer worked, and it was just getting worse. That’s when I got ibuprofen (still presctiption then for a few more months) and that helped for a few years.  Finally, at 32 I kept complaining to my family doctor that even that wasn’t working any more but she brushed me aside.  It wasn’t until 36 that I finally went to an OB/GYN who suspected endo and after birth control didn’t work, did a lap and discovered severe endo all over my pelvic area.   And although various treatments have helped some, nothing has helped completely and it’s still a battle.   But I have become a living example of how bad it can get when it is ignored for 20 years.  So whenever I hear stories, I tell parents to get it checked out — whatever it is.  It might not be an exaggeration!   But I have run into lots of families who think that it’s just a teenage thing — that she doesn’t want to go to school, etc.     Would your friend’s mother (if you have any contact with her) help?  It sounds like a difficult situation, but if somehow you can get them to listen, she sounds like she really does need all the support she can get.  Good luck!   Sue Ann

Response:

. What about the girl’s mother?

That is not an option, unfortunately, as she signed away her rights to her when she was a baby–she was very young and desperate  to get out of an abusive relationship.  She had no way of supporting the child, and he threatened to harm her if she took the baby with her. It is a really tough situation–niether parent should have this girl.  She was here last night and I listened, hugged her, gave her some Aleeve, and took her home.  It is amazing that she shows up miserable and in tears and leaves here feeling better and smiling ear to ear.  makes me feel better too. Love hugs and kisses, Jenny

Response:

I am 19. When my periods started at 13, they were hell from the get go. Luckily, my mom believed me…how could she not when I was screaming and crying from pain even after taking 4-8 tylenol. Sounds like that girl’s father is very authoritarian, and there’s not much that can be done about that. What about the girl’s mother? Is she supportive at all? The best thing you can do, since obviously her father won’t allow any help for her, is to do what you are doing now…give her support and understanding…and pray that someday her father will come through and give her the help that she needs. Let her know that she is not alone. That there are so many teens out there in the same boat. Meg )

Response:

I am thinking too much here, and I have some thoughts to share. When I was I teen, my periods were torture and I got really depressed and crancky.  My grades were effected because I missed so much school. I am just wondering how many families are coming down hard on their "Raging Hormone teens" without even asking them if they are IN PAIN! I know my parents just thought that I was a mental case, and doing it on purpose to destroy their marriage.  The Drs just said that I was faking to get attention, and now i found out that my GYN (that did my surgery when I was 14 and said there was nothing wrong with me) has actually been sued for leaving sponges in people and walking out in the middle of surgery! This really makes me wonder if this is really common!  I know a teen right now that has been in the hospital three times for pain with ovulation.  Her parents think that it is stress, but I think it is Endo.  She has all the signs of IBS, and chronic fatigue and depression.  I tried to tell her parents, but they do not want to hear it. They don’t even believe the Dr that suspects endo, and she has even told the parents that her stress levels are from living in their home! (They are a step family with another baby on the way and they are really ignoring her as much as possible.) She comes to me and crys on my shoulder.  I know that she is not happy in her home life, her dad has been married 4 times.  Her step mother is pregos and REALLY hard on her.  Money is tight and they are suing her mother for more child support which makes her feel like they expect HER mother to pay for their new baby. It is hard to see someone that young in pain.  I only wish that somehow I could convince her father to allow her to take SOMETHING for pain.  He won’t even allow her to take tylonol.  I know it is wrong, but I give her pamprin occassionally.  At least she has me (that is when her father lets her leave her house–she stays grounded to her room for days on end for being moody) to come to and cry with.   I just know that this is happening all over the world.  These girls are called trouble makers, and kept grounded for their "attitude problems" when their real problem is PAIN. The worst part is that the parents do not trust their own children.  Why would they LIE?  To get attention?  maybe they NEED attention.  They are not like puppies to care for when they are little and then ignore when they are old enough to feed and dress themselves.  That is why there are laws to keep teens living with their parents until they are 18. Well, just a vent, I guess. Love hugs and kisses, Jenny

Response:

Everything happens for a reason, I believe strongly, so it is no coincidence that this girl has come into your life (or you have come into hers, however you want look at it).  Bless you for being there for her.

When my husband was on a business trip in January, I was struggling to make it through every day with the children. On the third day I was about to go nuts–and there was a knock at my door.  It was "My Lissa" wearing her magic smile and bearing her school books.  She gave the children a bath while I made a little supper.  We put them to bed and I helped her cram for her exams. I was put here to help her, and she is here to help me.  I call that friendship. Love hugs and kisses, Jenny

Response:

You are such a kind and caring person.  This girl is lucky to have you to turn to.  I think you may have something with your ideas on some ‘problem’ teens may be dealing with pain.  Lord knows how many of us grown-up have been blown off, its certainly no great leap that teens would be even more dismissed than we are. Everything happens for a reason, I believe strongly, so it is no coincidence that this girl has come into your life (or you have come into hers, however you want look at it).  Bless you for being there for her. God bless, Deb

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -. What about the girl’s mother? That is not an option, unfortunately, as she signed away her rights to her when she was a baby–she was very young and desperate  to get out of an abusive relationship.  She had no way of supporting the child, and he threatened to harm her if she took the baby with her. It is a really tough situation–niether parent should have this girl.  She was here last night and I listened, hugged her, gave her some Aleeve, and took her home.  It is amazing that she shows up miserable and in tears and leaves here feeling better and smiling ear to ear.  makes me feel better too. Love hugs and kisses, Jenny

Response:

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