Depression Learning

Suicidal Thoughts

Question:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – By no means do I desire to push you. In fact, if you desire, I will not repond to your posts, giving my viewpoint, with one exception: if you have responded to someone else and I believe diffently then you do, and no one else has yet exspessed a similar viewpoint to mine. I see that you are very angry about things. I hope this is just temporary, and if caused somewhat by me, I have suggested a means to minimilize it. At any rate, if you are constantly thinking of suicide I will venture once to suggest to you that it’s probably due time to get things straightened out with your pdoc. It is no fun to have a part of your life consumed in this. Good luck to you, whoever turns out to help you the best. i think of suicide every fucking day since i was born the fact is i dont want to be here, period i’m just sittin here watchin the stupid fuckin wheels go round i think about it, but that’s really not my style i prefer to give all the morons that harm me a big you know what live and let live, sure….right, just dont fuck with me on a bad day especially when i’m behind the wheel of christine i am a kind gentle human being but i’ve been pushed beyond fucking belief good ol boy singin one of these days i’d like to die NO OFFENSE friend — Jim http://www.netcom.com/~jimwelsh/welcome/welcome.html *** Bob Seger & Silver Bullet Band Links *** http://www.altoreed.com/home.html http://cis.bentley.edu/students/WALSH1_KEVI/seger.html — Jim Hayes Pixelography: The marriage of silicon and silver. Images at http://www.jymis.com/~jimhayes

what happened to my last response just delete this whole thread — Jim http://www.netcom.com/~jimwelsh/welcome/welcome.html *** Bob Seger & Silver Bullet Band Links *** http://www.altoreed.com/home.html http://cis.bentley.edu/students/WALSH1_KEVI/seger.html

Response:

Yeah i always think of excersise and suicide at the same time… NOT

Thanks for this post and your original one. You do good work my friend. You misunderstand. I was responding to dealing with depression (as I state right before the word "Stradegies:"), which may or may not imply suicide. Similarly, there are different degrees of suicidal idealization

AMEN!!! As such there is a broader range of options. The item about exercise is a "higher level" activity and is stated as such in my post. Please re-read it carefully ("if you are feeling a little better…etc"). If depression is crippling you more than this, I list other options from sleeping, calling helpline, and marked as most important and always the last line of defense, meds/pdoc feedback loop, which may imply hospitalization.

Yes…I always call my psoc when I slide into a depressive episode. Unfortunately I tend to be depressed or dysphoric but no matter what  I do force myself to go to the YMCA and exercise…I have to crawl out of my bed to do so. buy a fuckin clue

SIGH! I do not respond to loaded phrasing. As a suggestion, for decorum’s sake, it’s a good idea not to generate any as well, as it does nothing to further understanding and diversity in the ng.

Diversity galore here…Dysphoria for sure <g. Yours, — I am NOT a Doctor!

Response:

Who do you love that would miss you?

Response:

Who do you love that would miss you?

Yes, I know, I think of that all of the time. I am OK today. Alan

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Jim is wrong, sorry…no put down. Just another viewpoint.. It can get better. With the right meds. . I’ve been at it a long time, good and bad. Maybe better than some, worse than a few other people. But a long time. Couple of decades. It would only have been at most a couple of years if I had the right pdoc. I don’t have any serious thoughts about it anymore, though I can get depressed. Strategies: 1) Get good meds/pdoc feedback loop   <——-most important 2) While waiting for them to work, take ten minutes at a time, or an hour at a time, whatever works. Plan getting through just that time period. 3) Having a stable S.O. or friend is a plus. But don’t make them a therapist. Btw, I had to pretty much go it alone. 4) Help lines sometimes work, sometimes not. Depends on who you get on the other end of the line. Don’t let bad ones trip you. 5) If it’s real bad, sleep. If it’s REAL bad, get to a hospital. Sleep can enhance a depression, so use this tool wisely. 6) If you can, get up and walk for an hour. Or some other exercise. This actually helps a lot, if you can bring yourself to it. 7) Don’t keep guns. Sorry. Make it so you can’t act on impulse. Put obsticles between you and other methods. Try putting it off for awhile….you want to be sure it’s the right decision and YOU CAN’t REVERSE it once made. 9) Remember that failed attempts are more common. 10) Going to the hospital/pdoc works out to be cheaper, although you may not see it as such at the time. 11) This is a moment in time. You have felt better. Ride out the trough of the wave. 12) Try to have or seek some purpose in life. A lot of people have some faith or higher power belief. Some people just have a hobby. Some people paint. Or you can write. Or just wing it.You don’t have to always be optimistic about your chosen way either. Just have it. I am really having a lot of sucidal thoughts lately. There is  a shift from death being a convenience to thougths of how to kill myself. This is nagging at me more and mre often. Any suggestions From you long term  BP’s on how to handle this. Self Esteem is dropping like av rok too. Alan "Think not of what you can do, but rather of why you shouldn’t be doing it" Alan Alan I have thought about killing myself off and on for as long as i can remember i have found that it is okay to think about you can think about it all you want just don’t ever do it it always…always…gets better then it gets worse…then it gets better again for me this is just normal life people that have never thought about killing themselves well to me that is just plain ABNORMAL hahaha isn’t life strange — Jim http://www.netcom.com/~jimwelsh/welcome/welcome.html Great Stuff — http://www.altoreed.com/home.html — Jim Hayes Pixelography: The marriage of silicon and silver. Images at http://www.jymis.com/~jimhayes

i think of suicide every fucking day since i was born the fact is i dont want to be here, period i’m just sittin here watchin the stupid fuckin wheels go round i think about it, but that’s really not my style i prefer to give all the morons that harm me a big you know what live and let live, sure….right, just dont fuck with me on a bad day especially when i’m behind the wheel of christine i am a kind gentle human being but i’ve been pushed beyond fucking belief good ol boy singin one of these days i’d like to die NO OFFENSE friend — Jim http://www.netcom.com/~jimwelsh/welcome/welcome.html *** Bob Seger & Silver Bullet Band Links *** http://www.altoreed.com/home.html http://cis.bentley.edu/students/WALSH1_KEVI/seger.html

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Jim is wrong, sorry…no put down. Just another viewpoint.. It can get better. With the right meds. . I’ve been at it a long time, good and bad. Maybe better than some, worse than a few other people. But a long time. Couple of decades. It would only have been at most a couple of years if I had the right pdoc. I don’t have any serious thoughts about it anymore, though I can get depressed. Strategies: 1) Get good meds/pdoc feedback loop   <——-most important 2) While waiting for them to work, take ten minutes at a time, or an hour at a time, whatever works. Plan getting through just that time period. 3) Having a stable S.O. or friend is a plus. But don’t make them a therapist. Btw, I had to pretty much go it alone. 4) Help lines sometimes work, sometimes not. Depends on who you get on the other end of the line. Don’t let bad ones trip you. 5) If it’s real bad, sleep. If it’s REAL bad, get to a hospital. Sleep can enhance a depression, so use this tool wisely. 6) If you can, get up and walk for an hour. Or some other exercise. This actually helps a lot, if you can bring yourself to it. 7) Don’t keep guns. Sorry. Make it so you can’t act on impulse. Put obsticles between you and other methods. Try putting it off for awhile….you want to be sure it’s the right decision and YOU CAN’t REVERSE it once made. 9) Remember that failed attempts are more common. 10) Going to the hospital/pdoc works out to be cheaper, although you may not see it as such at the time. 11) This is a moment in time. You have felt better. Ride out the trough of the wave. 12) Try to have or seek some purpose in life. A lot of people have some faith or higher power belief. Some people just have a hobby. Some people paint. Or you can write. Or just wing it.You don’t have to always be optimistic about your chosen way either. Just have it. I am really having a lot of sucidal thoughts lately. There is  a shift from death being a convenience to thougths of how to kill myself. This is nagging at me more and mre often. Any suggestions From you long term  BP’s on how to handle this. Self Esteem is dropping like av rok too. Alan "Think not of what you can do, but rather of why you shouldn’t be doing it" Alan Alan I have thought about killing myself off and on for as long as i can remember i have found that it is okay to think about you can think about it all you want just don’t ever do it it always…always…gets better then it gets worse…then it gets better again for me this is just normal life people that have never thought about killing themselves well to me that is just plain ABNORMAL hahaha isn’t life strange — Jim http://www.netcom.com/~jimwelsh/welcome/welcome.html Great Stuff — http://www.altoreed.com/home.html — Jim Hayes Pixelography: The marriage of silicon and silver. Images at http://www.jymis.com/~jimhayes

Yeah i always think of excersise and suicide at the same time… NOT buy a fuckin clue — Jim http://www.netcom.com/~jimwelsh/welcome/welcome.html *** Bob Seger & Silver Bullet Band Links *** http://www.altoreed.com/home.html http://cis.bentley.edu/students/WALSH1_KEVI/seger.html

Response:

Alan, when you shift from thinking "I wish I would die" to "If I get a rope that is 2 meters long…" – that is the time to call your pdoc. No matter the time. No matter the place. That is when you should seriously consider committing yourself to a psychward. You need for someone to take care of you and for someone else to be in charge.

I agree with you there. Is is easier said than done. In my four visits to the psychward, I tried admitting myself the last two times. Was told that the place was full. So, I arrived in an ambulance instead with my stomach full of drugs.

I have not tried it yet, but some days I am awful close. Today I was very irritably manic, very irritably manic. I was just angry and showed everyone that I was. Namaste,

I would love to know the meaning of that word. I love other cultures and if we lived in the same town and were of different cultures, I would beg you to make me some of your native countries food!!. Haakon

Cheers, Alan

Response:

Hi again, Alan. <snip I have not tried it yet, but some days I am awful close. Today I was very irritably manic, very irritably manic. I was just angry and showed everyone that I was.

IMHO, that is very good. Anger is an antidote to depression. Show your feelings. I have this theory, partially homebrewed, partially put together from stuff I’ve read in different psychology-books, that when you try to suppress an emotion you will always get an reaction. Myself, I am (was) an expert at driving my anger down. Result? Depression. (I am sure that my genetic makeup helped a bit, too…having a father who was diagnosed as bipolar). Namaste, I would love to know the meaning of that word. I love other cultures and if we lived in the same town and were of different cultures, I would beg you to make me some of your native countries food!!.

Namaste if not exactly norwegian. It is sanskrit, and means "the divine in me greets the divine in you". If you want to sample some norwegian food, jump on a plane! I’ll help my wife cook some norwegian meatballs or perhaps…nah, just get here and we’ll figure something out. Haakon Cheers, Alan

Namaste, Haakon

Response:

I am really having a lot of sucidal thoughts lately. There is  a shift from death being a convenience to thougths of how to kill myself. This is nagging at me more and mre often. Any suggestions From you long term  BP’s on how to handle this. Self Esteem is dropping like av rok too. Alan

Suicidal ideation is a very real, very serious component of our illness.  I’ve gone through several bouts of it, the most recent one just several weeks ago.  I did not want to kill myself, but I could not keep the thoughts from taking over my consciousness;  I could not stop going over different methods, in excruciating detail, in my mind. I would wake up in the morning thinking about it.  It was awful. It’s like being caught in a tidal wave–the important thing is to KEEP YOURSELF SAFE.  Grab onto whatever you can that will keep you from acting on your thoughts.  You might want to tell your pdoc about it–I tell mine when it is happening, and he always takes me seriously. Usually by adding or adjusting a medication.  Sometimes just letting him know how scared I am by the thoughts helps. Alan, please take care of yourself! Linda

Response:

Thanks Jim for your clear viewpoint, it was the sort of thing I was asking for when I asked the question. You have helped me. I simply need direction. adb – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Jim is wrong, sorry…no put down. Just another viewpoint.. It can get better. With the right meds. . I’ve been at it a long time, good and bad. Maybe better than some, worse than a few other people. But a long time. Couple of decades. It would only have been at most a couple of years if I had the right pdoc. I don’t have any serious thoughts about it anymore, though I can get depressed. Strategies: 1) Get good meds/pdoc feedback loop   <——-most important 2) While waiting for them to work, take ten minutes at a time, or an hour at a time, whatever works. Plan getting through just that time period. 3) Having a stable S.O. or friend is a plus. But don’t make them a

therapist. Btw, I had to pretty much go it alone. 4) Help lines sometimes work, sometimes not. Depends on who you get on the other end of the line. Don’t let bad ones trip you. 5) If it’s real bad, sleep. If it’s REAL bad, get to a hospital. Sleep can enhance a depression, so use this tool wisely. 6) If you can, get up and walk for an hour. Or some other exercise. This actually helps a lot, if you can bring yourself to it. 7) Don’t keep guns. Sorry. Make it so you can’t act on impulse. Put

obsticles between you – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -and other methods. Try putting it off for awhile….you want to be sure it’s the right decision and YOU CAN’t REVERSE it once made. 9) Remember that failed attempts are more common. 10) Going to the hospital/pdoc works out to be cheaper, although you may not see it as such at the time. 11) This is a moment in time. You have felt better. Ride out the trough of the wave. 12) Try to have or seek some purpose in life. A lot of people have some faith or higher power belief. Some people just have a hobby. Some people paint. Or you can write. Or just wing it.You don’t have to always be optimistic about your chosen way either. Just have it. I am really having a lot of sucidal thoughts lately. There is  a shift from death being a convenience to thougths of how to kill myself. This is nagging at me more and mre often. Any suggestions From you long term  BP’s on how to handle this. Self Esteem is dropping like av rok too. Alan "Think not of what you can do, but rather of why you shouldn’t be doing it" Alan Alan I have thought about killing myself off and on for as long as i can remember i have found that it is okay to think about you can think about it all you want just don’t ever do it it always…always…gets better then it gets worse…then it gets better again for me this is just normal life people that have never thought about killing themselves well to me that is just plain ABNORMAL hahaha isn’t life strange — Jim http://www.netcom.com/~jimwelsh/welcome/welcome.html Great Stuff — http://www.altoreed.com/home.html — Jim Hayes Pixelography: The marriage of silicon and silver. Images at http://www.jymis.com/~jimhayes

Response:

Alan, when you shift from thinking "I wish I would die" to "If I get a rope that is 2 meters long…" – that is the time to call your pdoc. No matter the time. No matter the place. That is when you should seriously consider committing yourself to a psychward. You need for someone to take care of you and for someone else to be in charge. Is is easier said than done. In my four visits to the psychward, I tried admitting myself the last two times. Was told that the place was full. So, I arrived in an ambulance instead with my stomach full of drugs. Namaste, Haakon

Response:

I am really having a lot of sucidal thoughts lately. There is  a shift from death being a convenience to thougths of how to kill myself. This is nagging at me more and mre often. Any suggestions From you long term  BP’s on how to handle this. Self Esteem is dropping like av rok too. Alan "Think not of what you can do, but rather of why you shouldn’t be doing it" Alan

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I am really having a lot of sucidal thoughts lately. There is  a shift from death being a convenience to thougths of how to kill myself. This is nagging at me more and mre often. Any suggestions From you long term  BP’s on how to handle this. Self Esteem is dropping like av rok too. Alan "Think not of what you can do, but rather of why you shouldn’t be doing it" Alan

Alan I have thought about killing myself off and on for as long as i can remember i have found that it is okay to think about you can think about it all you want just don’t ever do it it always…always…gets better then it gets worse…then it gets better again for me this is just normal life people that have never thought about killing themselves well to me that is just plain ABNORMAL hahaha isn’t life strange — Jim http://www.netcom.com/~jimwelsh/welcome/welcome.html Great Stuff — http://www.altoreed.com/home.html

Response:

Hi Alan, I am really having a lot of sucidal thoughts lately.

For me, they come and go. There is  a shift from death being a convenience to thougths of how to kill myself.

Suicidal ideation is characteristic of depression. Have you discussed these thoughts with your pdoc? This is nagging at me more and mre often. Any suggestions From you long term  BP’s on how to handle this.

I always share what is happening with me with my pdoc. Sine I am an URC, this is quite often. What meds are you taken now? Self Esteem is dropping like av rok too.

Try to remember that this latest mood is temporary, abeit uncomfortable and black. It will pass. You are not this illness. The chemistry in your brain is awry at the moment. There is help but your pdoc cannot do anything unless you tell him/her. Please call him today. Peace, Reach beyond your grasp!

Response:

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