My mom's depressed.
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Question:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Stewart/sna said: What is with all these young girl posting to ASD?? I mean, why do they all post from places that allow for multiple return e-mail addresses, and why do they always announce their age and gender in their first post?? When I was a kid, the first thing anyone ever wanted to know was how old I was. I think it gets to be habit. Yeah sure. But I didn’t go walking down the street anouncing to everyone the very first time I met them how old I was. I didn’t walk into a party and say "Hi everyone, I am 15 years old." It just makes me wonder what’s up with that. Sincerely Stewart Mr. Suspicious and Paranoid :-)
What the hell is wrong with you people? A young woman bares her soul, exposing her own pain and her mother’s pain, and the only thing you can focus on is her age–or, rather, her youth? Moms like hers kill themselves. Teenagers like her kill themselves. Teenagers are incredibly susceptible to withdrawing, succumbing to distrust of adults and society. Is it your intention to teach her that adults won’t take her seriously? You’re doing a swell job. I admire her for being so forthcoming, in spite of the fact that she will obviously get no help from *these* quarters. What a disgrace. I’ve only been reading this list for a week or so, and I’ve already learned that this is about the last place in the world I would go for support in a crisis. I’d do better putting up a billboard detailing my issues. My best wishes to all the teenagers out there, whether your despair is your own or that of a beloved parent. donna
Response:
Stewart/sna said: What is with all these young girl posting to ASD?? I mean, why do they all post from places that allow for multiple return e-mail addresses, and why do they always announce their age and gender in their first post?? When I was a kid, the first thing anyone ever wanted to know was how old I was. I think it gets to be habit.
Yeah sure. But I didn’t go walking down the street anouncing to everyone the very first time I met them how old I was. I didn’t walk into a party and say "Hi everyone, I am 15 years old." It just makes me wonder what’s up with that. Sincerely Stewart Mr. Suspicious and Paranoid :-) — The Metaphor Man *and* The Great Defender of the Self (remove the SPAMBLOCK) Please send me an e-mail copy of your posted response.
Response:
Dear Tiffany, When I read your post I thanked God that I sought treatment when I did; otherwise my daughter could be writing the same post. I never knew that losing my temper over every little thing was a sign of depression; I just thought everyone spent all their time trying to aggravate me. Really! Your mom is incredibly lucky to have a good kid like you, who knows that there’s a real problem instead of thinking she’s just trying to control everyone. It shouldn’t be your job to have to deal with your mom getting treatment. Inside, I’m sure your mom knows that she’s hurting the people she loves; she just can’t help it, you know? It’s really scary when a mom has temper tantrums–scary for everyone, including for her. She’s probably looking at herself from somewhere else and wondering, "Who is this crazy person?" She doesn’t *mean* to do it. Maybe your father could speak to your mom’s regular doctor, like her gynecologist, before her next check-up? Just to alert the doctor to the situation so the doc can open the door for conversation on the subject? (Not to make it look like an ambush.) Meanwhile, I know from my own experience, that a hug every day and an "I love you, Mom" are priceless. It’s awful when you feel like you can’t "be there" for your kids. When your kids continue to remind you that they love you and need you, a depressed mom can feel more worthwhile. I’d give you a huge hug if I could. love, donna p.s. Thanks for being brave enough to come to a "place" like this. I’m sure you made a lot of people really think tonight, even if they don’t respond here.
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I’m 14 years old and my mom is depressed and she doesn’t know it. She always has these temper tantrums and she thinks something bad is going to happen to her. My father told me that it won’t get better if she doesn’t take those pills but she is so stuburn. My father also told me that she was unhappy where we lived because there aren’t any close friends in the neighborhood and she always stayed in the house, she doesn’t work. I don’t know what to do. Help me.
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I’m 14 years old and my mom is depressed and she doesn’t know it. She always has these temper tantrums and she thinks something bad is going to happen to her. My father told me that it won’t get better if she doesn’t take those pills but she is so stuburn. My father also told me that she was unhappy where we lived because there aren’t any close friends in the neighborhood and she always stayed in the house, she doesn’t work. I don’t know what to do. Help me.
What is with all these young girl posting to ASD?? I mean, why do they all post from places that allow for multiple return e-mail addresses, and why do they always announce their age and gender in their first post?? Kids are so nice these days. Sincerely Stewart — The Metaphor Man *and* The Great Defender of the Self (remove the SPAMBLOCK) Please send me an e-mail copy of your posted response.
Response:
I’m 14 years old and my mom is depressed and she doesn’t know it. She always has these temper tantrums and she thinks something bad is going to happen to her. My father told me that it won’t get better if she doesn’t take those pills but she is so stuburn. My father also told me that she was unhappy where we lived because there aren’t any close friends in the neighborhood and she always stayed in the house, she doesn’t work. I don’t know what to do. Help me.
Response:
Explanation accepted. I didn’t start out thinking "what the hell…"; I just sat here and pondered…then thought….then simmered and stewed (I sound like soup!) and then let it fly. Sorry. Her post disturbed me. A lot. I wanted someone to offer her a solution, and it just wasn’t happening. And I know the world is full of troubled teenaged girls who can’t find a helpful adult to take them–and their problems–seriously. Makes me feel awful, you know?
Yeah I know. I felt it too. I felt her somehow trapped between, and being used by, her parents. Not sure how to explain that feeling, nor how she could get herself out of it, nor how her parents could avoid putting her in the middle, but that was how I felt. The post disturbed me too. I really do hope she comes back and posts again. Sincerely Stewart — The Metaphor Man *and* The Great Defender of the Self (remove the SPAMBLOCK) Please send me an e-mail copy of your posted response.
Response:
Stewart/sna said: What is with all these young girl posting to ASD?? I mean, why do they all post from places that allow for multiple return e-mail addresses, and why do they always announce their age and gender in their first post??
Heh. Announcing that you’re 15 in your first post always sends my troll-o-meter ringing. (Although it can be wrong, eg Cara, 16, …) It is sometimes relevant – kids have fewer resources; sometimes all we can give them is sympathy. And they probably know they’ll get more sympathy for announcing their age – there’s a lot of pathos attached to the brave teenager dealing with adult problems. And they may just be spending too much time in chat rooms. Chat rooms and game nets – the people seem to always start off with "betsywetsy: m/f?" Not even bothering to write out the whole sentence! Argh! It bugs me. Then "Where do you live?" "How old are you?" "What do you look like?" I used to tell the truth, or leave. Then I lied. Then I started creating *interesting* lies – a different little persona each time, really playing it up. I think next time I’ll just go off on the person. That should be fun too. But I don’t frequent chat rooms that much anyway.
Response:
said: What is with all these young girl posting to ASD?? I mean, why do they all post from places that allow for multiple return e-mail addresses, and why do they always announce their age and gender in their first post?? When I was a kid, the first thing anyone ever wanted to know was how old I was. I think it gets to be habit.
I wonder why people do that? i mean, you never get situations where something like this happens – woman A : Hi, B, this is my friend C. C, this is B. woman B : Hello C, my name is B, how old are you? sounds ludicrous when applied to adults, doesn’t it? Wolfbitch / Laz Spashett "Flowers still open, flowers still close We rearrange molecules, miracle cures….. As I draw my latest breath Amazing Things are done on Earth!"
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x-no-archive=yes Yeah sure. But I didn’t go walking down the street anouncing to everyone the very first time I met them how old I was. I didn’t walk into a party and say "Hi everyone, I am 15 years old."
Normally it would not be relevant and therefore it would not be said. In this case, the girl’s age -is- relevant. I think there is a difference between me, 26, saying my mother is depressed and I can’t handle it (but I have a job and an independent life) and someone of 17, living at home and a dependent, saying her mother is depressed and she can’t handle it. Seems like fairly normal information within the stated context. Dianne x — ‘When it comes, and the opening credits roll, I nearly burst into song! I go crazy with joy and do a little dance in my seat. Then I watch with a frenzied concentration that a phone call from Jesus Christ could not break.’ - Katherine Dahlsgaard (http://www.citypaper.net/articles/071698/tv.shtml)
Response:
Stewart/sna said: What is with all these young girl posting to ASD?? I mean, why do they all post from places that allow for multiple return e-mail addresses, and why do they always announce their age and gender in their first post?? Heh. Announcing that you’re 15 in your first post always sends my troll-o-meter ringing. (Although it can be wrong, eg Cara, 16, …) It is sometimes relevant – kids have fewer resources; sometimes all we can give them is sympathy. And they probably know they’ll get more sympathy for announcing their age – there’s a lot of pathos attached to the brave teenager dealing with adult problems.
Yeah, I don’t know which is worse. If my suspicians are right, or if they are not. *sigh* Sincerely Stewart — The Metaphor Man *and* The Great Defender of the Self (remove the SPAMBLOCK) Please send me an e-mail copy of your posted response.
Response:
an x-no-archive=yes person who I think shouldn’t have the "=" in there said: Normally it would not be relevant and therefore it would not be said. In this case, the girl’s age -is- relevant. I think there is a difference between me, 26, saying my mother is depressed and I can’t handle it (but I have a job and an independent life) and someone of 17, living at home and a dependent, saying her mother is depressed and she can’t handle it. Seems like fairly normal information within the stated context.
Yes, absolutely. I would go you "one better", and say that I think it is ALWAYS relevent how old one is. (Exactly what meaning it might have depends on everything else, but I think it is always relevent.) I think gender is also always relevent. (But again how and why I can’t predict.) But my questioning the original post might also seem relevent "within the stated context". That is, as I said, it seems to me there are a lot of very similar "post and runs" from young girls here. It could just be a reflection of my own paranoia. Sincerely Stewart — The Metaphor Man *and* The Great Defender of the Self (remove the SPAMBLOCK) Please send me an e-mail copy of your posted response.
Response:
It really comes down to the error that you’d prefer to make. I’d prefer to get it wrong and believe sincere a person only posing as a 15 year old than to reject, as trolling, a real request for help from someone who is 15 and is wondering how to help her mother.
Yeah, I watched this show, called "loveline" on MTV last night. It’s got these two male hosts, who sit in big stuffed chairs and answer questions about sex and sexuality and relationships etcetera from their 20 something audience. Dr. Drew wears a tie and has slightly more serious and medical/clinical answers, while his co-host makes more jokes. Anyway, they were questioning the veracity of a couple of callers the other night. Basically, they explained their position WRT those calls they suspect are false. They said that while XYZ about the call made them suspicious about it’s truthfullness, that they would still treat it as a truthfull call and answer it as best they could. Reason being that they could be wrong about the call, and it could be a truthful call, and because even if this call was not, there would probably be people out there who could relate to the call, and learn something from the discussion about it. Basically it seemed to me that they were expressing exactly the way I feel about things here on ASD. When my "red flags" go up, I sometimes just ignore it and move on, either ignoring the post or commenting on it at face value. Other times, I feel a need to point out why XYZ about the post makes me wonder about it’s veracity, and THEN I go on (hopefully) to treat the post as if it was in fact truthfull. I try not to simply trash a post as a false lie, and demand that the poster somehow prove to me the veracity of their claims. I suppose sometimes I don’t do a good job of it, and I suppose that no matter how I do it, some people will find ANY question along these lines to be invalidating. Still, I think we all gain something from the conversation, even the original poster should they still be reading this thread. Sincerely Stewart — The Metaphor Man *and* The Great Defender of the Self (remove the SPAMBLOCK) Please send me an e-mail copy of your posted response.
Response:
Explanation accepted. I didn’t start out thinking "what the hell…"; I just sat here and pondered…then thought….then simmered and stewed (I sound like soup!) and then let it fly. Sorry. Her post disturbed me. A lot. I wanted someone to offer her a solution, and it just wasn’t happening. And I know the world is full of troubled teenaged girls who can’t find a helpful adult to take them–and their problems–seriously. Makes me feel awful, you know? donna – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – What the hell is wrong with you people? -snipped the rest- I am sorry you didn’t like my response. I kinda felt the same about yours. But I hope that I usually respond with "I don’t understand why you said this" rather than with "what the hell is wrong with you". I certainly hope this person is OK and that they find a way through their problems. I welcome them to ASD. I hope they post again. It just seems to me that ASD is getting a lot of posts in recent months from young women using AOL or hotmail etcetera (places that allow for many e-mail names). They usually anounce their gender and age in their very first post, and then never are seen from again. (This happens irrespective of the responses.) I certainly hope this is not one of those cases. Sincerely Stewart — The Metaphor Man *and* The Great Defender of the Self (remove the SPAMBLOCK) Please send me an e-mail copy of your posted response.
Response:
What the hell is wrong with you people?
-snipped the rest- I am sorry you didn’t like my response. I kinda felt the same about yours. But I hope that I usually respond with "I don’t understand why you said this" rather than with "what the hell is wrong with you". I certainly hope this person is OK and that they find a way through their problems. I welcome them to ASD. I hope they post again. It just seems to me that ASD is getting a lot of posts in recent months from young women using AOL or hotmail etcetera (places that allow for many e-mail names). They usually anounce their gender and age in their very first post, and then never are seen from again. (This happens irrespective of the responses.) I certainly hope this is not one of those cases. Sincerely Stewart — The Metaphor Man *and* The Great Defender of the Self (remove the SPAMBLOCK) Please send me an e-mail copy of your posted response.
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