Depression Learning

My mom is losing it

Question:

Lindsay, I am so sorry that things are not getting better with you and your mom. Please don’t feel any guilt– you are doing so much, it’s just not an easy thing to overcome.  Your mom is probably very sorry that she hit you.  It seems you understand that.  It’s still wrong that she is letting some of her bad feelings hurt you.  You are in such a difficult situation, and people here have suggested that you try to get some help.  I hope this is possible for you.  I wish I could be there for you and your mom.  Do you have any relatives or friends that could help in any way?  Maybe just by being there, and distracting your mom.  I’m sure that being alone and in bed most of the time is not making anything easier for her (and you).  Maybe you two could do something together, like clean the house. It’s hard to get going, I know, but manual work may distract your mom for a while.  If you find someone to help, maybe you could take a day off, and go somewhere, away from the house for a few hours.  It seems that whatever it is you do in the near future will require lots of effort, no matter how simple.  But please try to stay strong and get through it.  You are a strong person, I can see that, and you have many "invisible" friends here who want you to be well and happy.  You are young, yes, but you have lived through things that many older than you will never experience.  Trust your heart and don’t be afraid to reach out for help.  Your mom may resist and fight, but she _needs_ help, just as you do, and she’ll realize it, sooner or later. She could keep talking to us here, like she did a couple of times before–she could post even if there are no extraordinary circumstances, just to share her feelings, whatever they are. Most of all, I hope that the two of you don’t have to suffer much longer.  It’s terribly sad that such wonderful human beings have to stand so much pain.  Hang on, and things will get better. Love, Boyana — http://arnoldi.cs.uiuc.edu/~radenska/

Response:

Lindsay, you need to try to call another adult as soon as possible, like I said before. No one’s expecting you to handle this on your own, and you shouldn’t expect yourself to. If you can’t call someone tonight (Sunday) please try to first thing Monday. Please call someone from school, your therapist or a family member or friend.

  I agree with CT. Please get some one else involved. I care about you sooo much Lyndsay I hate to see you misrable after the  hell you have been through.     Take care GET HELP!

Response:

Of course you hate this.  Carrot Top is right (and did such a good job of saying it, better than I could).  You need to get someone to help you.  If I could do it, I would.  I tried to e-mail you yesterday, but my e-mailer is down (receives, but won’t send). Do you remember the post I wrote back in July about my daughter struggling to cope with my depression?  This reminds me so much of that time.  When other people in the community knew about the situation, they were willing to help.  Is there anyone in your area you can call?  Friend, acquaintance, police?  Last December I had to call the police to pick up my youngest son when my car wouldn’t start and I had no way to reach him by telephone.  They did it, too, and willingly.  Of course, this is a small town. Tell your mother that this depressed mom cares about her and wishes she could help.  She’s the only mother you’ve got, and she’s been through hell, but you and she still have each other, and that’s important.  That’s some- thing to go forward with. ((((((((((((((((((((Lindsay)))))))))))))))))))) ((((((((((((((((((((Kelsey)))))))))))))))))))) Soccer Mom

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – <Carrot Top said something about riding transit buses to school, but I’ve lost the message and can’t find it we don’t have any buses here. this is a fairly small town. my school is five miles away. my mom is mad at me for taking the car to buy groceries. i am only 14 and don’t have a license but she wasn’t going to do it. i was trying to help. i hate thisi hate thisi hate thisi hate thisi hate thisi hate thisi hate thisi hate thisi hate thisi hate thisi hate thisi hate thisi hate thisi hate thisi hate thisi hate thisi hate thisi hate thisi hate thisi hate thisi hate thisi hate thisi hate thisi hate thisi hate thisi hate thisi hate thisi hate thisi hate thisi hate thisi hate thisi hate thisi hate thisi hate thisi hate thisi hate sorry, Lindsay

[posted and emailed] Hi again, Lindsay. I think you’ve got me confused with someone else, but that’s ok. Lindsay, you need to try to call another adult as soon as possible, like I said before. No one’s expecting you to handle this on your own, and you shouldn’t expect yourself to. If you can’t call someone tonight (Sunday) please try to first thing Monday. Please call someone from school, your therapist or a family member or friend. You need help with this, Lindsay. Sending you warm thoughts. CT "Now my soul hath elbow-room." William Shakespeare. King John.

Response:

today my mom finally got out of bed long enough to get a drink of water, and she saw the house was messy. i am trying to help, but i guess i’m not doing a good enough job. Anyway, i told her she needed some help and she slapped me. my mom has never, ever hit me before. Other people have hit me, but not my mom. then she started crying and went back to bed.

-snip- The best you can do is call the therapist that you have talked with.  Just call them, and let them take it from there.  If they have e-mail, then send them a copy of your post.  The *only* way that you can help your mother is to take care of your self. *sigh* Of course, if you want to live forever in dependent psychic pain, you can become severely depressed and constantly suicidal yourself.  Thus giving your mother something to live for….. *sigh* I hope you talk with someone like a therapist ASAP, and that you keep talking with them on a regular basis for at least an hour a week.  Only way that *I* could see it clear anyway…. Sincerely Stewart — The Metaphor Man

Response:

— http://stio1.fh-wuerzburg.de/student/i217/bea1.html

Response:

<Carrot Top said something about riding transit buses to school, but I’ve lost the message and can’t find it we don’t have any buses here. this is a fairly small town. my school is five miles away. my mom is mad at me for taking the car to buy groceries. i am only 14 and don’t have a license but she wasn’t going to do it. i was trying to help. i hate thisi hate thisi hate thisi hate thisi hate thisi hate thisi hate thisi hate thisi hate thisi hate thisi hate thisi hate thisi hate thisi hate thisi hate thisi hate thisi hate thisi hate thisi hate thisi hate thisi hate thisi hate thisi hate thisi hate thisi hate thisi hate thisi hate thisi hate thisi hate thisi hate thisi hate thisi hate thisi hate thisi hate thisi hate thisi hate sorry, Lindsay — For more information about this service, send e-mail to:

Response:

thing I can tell you to do…….is to talk to someone you trust and get some help on your side.  She needs to be shown what she is doing to embarassing……and I know how hard it is to say "my mother needs some help and is not taking care of me"……no one wants to say bad things MANY MANY HUGS TO YOU Becky

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – hi, today my mom finally got out of bed long enough to get a drink of water, and she saw the house was messy. i am trying to help, but i guess i’m not doing a good enough job. Anyway, i told her she needed some help and she slapped me. my mom has never, ever hit me before. Other people have hit me, but not my mom. then she started crying and went back to bed. I don’t know what to do anymore. i hate this, i hate this, i hate this. i don’t even know if I’ll have to go to school tomorrow because i don’t know if she’ll get up to take me, and now that i am going to a school that’s out of my district, I can’t ride the bus. I also am supposed to have a therapy appt tomorrow. i can’t drive. I can’t do anything. i know what it felt like when i was in the worst part of my depression, but i still don’t know how to help my mom, and it’s frightening. Lindsay Each day is a gift, Imparted once, and never given Again. — For more information about this service, send e-mail to:

[posted and emailed] Hi Lindsay, I’m sorry to hear things are still so rough for you and your mom. But Lindsay, please do not feel responsible for your mother. She is *your* mother, not vice-versa. I’m not trying to make this sound harsh. But you are hurting, too. You are in no position to be feeling responsible for her. You need to take care of you. What I think you should do is call your school counselors/teachers/principal, whoever. Explain what is happening. Call an adult friend of the family or an adult relative. Call your therapist. I think you should try to get another adult involved in the situation. Someone who can help steer your mother to the help *she* needs. Only that way, I believe, can the two of you support each other as you heal and recover. Lindsay, please don’t try to take on these burdens alone. You don’t have to. Please call someone in to help, right away. Take care. CT "Now my soul hath elbow-room." William Shakespeare. King John.

Response:

hi, today my mom finally got out of bed long enough to get a drink of water, and she saw the house was messy. i am trying to help, but i guess i’m not doing a good enough job. Anyway, i told her she needed some help and she slapped me. my mom has never, ever hit me before. Other people have hit me, but not my mom. then she started crying and went back to bed. I don’t know what to do anymore. i hate this, i hate this, i hate this. i don’t even know if I’ll have to go to school tomorrow because i don’t know if she’ll get up to take me, and now that i am going to a school that’s out of my district, I can’t ride the bus. I also am supposed to have a therapy appt tomorrow. i can’t drive. I can’t do anything. i know what it felt like when i was in the worst part of my depression, but i still don’t know how to help my mom, and it’s frightening. Lindsay Each day is a gift, Imparted once, and never given Again. — For more information about this service, send e-mail to:

Response:

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