Marriage Troubles
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Question:
It’s very tough to run a business and also have a relationship. The sexy wife is now the tough ball-buster who could use a little deodorant at 6, the tall handsome, guy, is the poorly organized dolt, who doesn’t realize he needs help. I’d keep the relationship, dump the business, since no one needs to be around a spouse 24/7 – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->Subject: Marriage Troubles >From: Face Face.um…@timelimit.yourserver.com >Date: 10/1/2003 5:24 AM Eastern Standard Time >Message-id: <Face.um…@timelimit.yourserver.com> >About six months ago my wife and I had everything going for us. We were >just about to buy a business, we were aslo trying for a child. The >Business was one that we had been running for her mum for 5 years. The >only difference being that we would be doing more paperwork. >This however made her feel down and trapped because she was tied to a >business. >We had also been having trouble concieving. we were both part of the >problem. All of a sudden she said that she did not want to have a child >and that we should wait. I was upset but agreed. Everything was not >okay though and she was really depressed and was crying a lot. >Eventually she said that she wasn’t sure she loved me like a husband >but more like a brother but that it was all in her head. She said that >this had happened before but it had passed and if we could just try to >be normal she thought it would do the same again. >We have had numerous talks since then and things have got a little >better. She is much happier with the business side of things but we >have not talked about children. The thing is we have only made love >once since then and she said that she wanted to but that it just didn’t >feel right. She said maybe it was too soon. She said she wanted to and >that it was nice during but it felt not quite right afterwards. I asked >if it was because she did not fancy me any more and she said it was not >as strong as that. She is quite shy in some ways and I have a hard time >getting stuff out of her especially about sex. Could it be I am not >giving her the excitment she wants? I have been having a tough time as >well not just because of no sex but mainly because there is no intimacy >from her. No cuddles or kisses or many signs of affection. She says >that she does not want to give me false hope and just to give her >time. >Today though I said I could not take this anymore and wanted to leave. >She does not want me to go and said she didn’t feel she wanted to go >down that road. My wife is also honest and would not say anything that >she did not believe herself and would not want to give me false hope. >She has told me a few weeks ago she thinks we will be okay. The only >real problem is that we are not having sex. She does not want to be in >a relationship where she is not having sex and live to regret it. she >says she loves me deeply and she hopes this feeling will pass. >She also says she does not think I love her fully. Not really and that >I should be honest with myself about it. Well I do love her and tell >her as well. We did have a patch after we were married where we did not >have sex. This was mainly my fault as there always seemed to be other >things to do or I was to tired and she was very hurt by this and >thought I did not find her attractive. This is something that she has >mentioned a few times and I believe maybe part of the problem. I have >shed a lot of tears and so has my wife. But I know she loves me and is >not having an affair. >Any thoughts on this? I love my wife dearly and wish to spend the rest >of my life with her. I am just having a tough time with this. >– >Face >———————————————————————— >Face’s Profile: >http://www.weddingmanual.co.uk/member.php?action=getinfo&userid=52 >View this thread: http://www.weddingmanual.co.uk/showthread.php?threadid=8817 >—-== Posted via Newsfeed.Com – Unlimited-Uncensored-Secure Usenet >News==—- >http://www.newsfeed.com The #1 Newsgroup Service in the World! >100,000 >Newsgroups >—= 19 East/West-Coast Specialized Servers – Total Privacy via Encryption >=—
Response:
It appears to me that you still have everything going for you. All that has changed so far is that you delay having children. My wife and i happened to have waited eight years before trying, and at that point we were both in high agreement that that is what we wanted to do. If and when the time is right, then the time may well come when you both want to try again. If not, then you still have each other and that may be plenty enough. It also looks to me like you both love each other very dearly, even to a fault, that you respect each other’s wishes very highly. Of course, like anything, you may care so much that you are over-protective of each other’s feelings in that you hesitate to say what’s on your mind, and this may evolve to the point where you stop communcating altogether. This is something that happened to us while i was drinking too much, and we had to do some treatment therapy to work things out. A few sessions and not especially much fun, but we stayed together in spite of my alcoholism and my depression. You two can work things out as well, if you want help and go to get it. A key ingredient, however, is trying to communicate openly and honestly, even if what is said can hurt a bit. Feelings can be hurt but they can get better again. ‘Hope that helps a bit, Oran S. On Wed, 1 Oct 2003 10:24:48 +0100, Face – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -<Face.um…@timelimit.yourserver.com> wrote: >About six months ago my wife and I had everything going for us. We were >just about to buy a business, we were aslo trying for a child. The >Business was one that we had been running for her mum for 5 years. The >only difference being that we would be doing more paperwork. >This however made her feel down and trapped because she was tied to a >business. >We had also been having trouble concieving. we were both part of the >problem. All of a sudden she said that she did not want to have a child >and that we should wait. I was upset but agreed. Everything was not >okay though and she was really depressed and was crying a lot. >Eventually she said that she wasn’t sure she loved me like a husband >but more like a brother but that it was all in her head. She said that >this had happened before but it had passed and if we could just try to >be normal she thought it would do the same again. >We have had numerous talks since then and things have got a little >better. She is much happier with the business side of things but we >have not talked about children. The thing is we have only made love >once since then and she said that she wanted to but that it just didn’t >feel right. She said maybe it was too soon. She said she wanted to and >that it was nice during but it felt not quite right afterwards. I asked >if it was because she did not fancy me any more and she said it was not >as strong as that. She is quite shy in some ways and I have a hard time >getting stuff out of her especially about sex. Could it be I am not >giving her the excitment she wants? I have been having a tough time as >well not just because of no sex but mainly because there is no intimacy >from her. No cuddles or kisses or many signs of affection. She says >that she does not want to give me false hope and just to give her >time. >Today though I said I could not take this anymore and wanted to leave. >She does not want me to go and said she didn’t feel she wanted to go >down that road. My wife is also honest and would not say anything that >she did not believe herself and would not want to give me false hope. >She has told me a few weeks ago she thinks we will be okay. The only >real problem is that we are not having sex. She does not want to be in >a relationship where she is not having sex and live to regret it. she >says she loves me deeply and she hopes this feeling will pass. >She also says she does not think I love her fully. Not really and that >I should be honest with myself about it. Well I do love her and tell >her as well. We did have a patch after we were married where we did not >have sex. This was mainly my fault as there always seemed to be other >things to do or I was to tired and she was very hurt by this and >thought I did not find her attractive. This is something that she has >mentioned a few times and I believe maybe part of the problem. I have >shed a lot of tears and so has my wife. But I know she loves me and is >not having an affair. >Any thoughts on this? I love my wife dearly and wish to spend the rest >of my life with her. I am just having a tough time with this.
Response:
Thanks everyone for your comments. I think things are better and for the first time in a long time we are more relaxed and having a laugh with each other. Until recently I didn’t realise that it was missing. Funny how things can just slip away. — Face ———————————————————————— Face’s Profile: http://www.weddingmanual.co.uk/member.php?action=getinfo&userid=52 View this thread: http://www.weddingmanual.co.uk/showthread.php?threadid=8817 —-== Posted via Newsfeed.Com – Unlimited-Uncensored-Secure Usenet News==—- http://www.newsfeed.com The #1 Newsgroup Service in the World! >100,000 Newsgroups —= 19 East/West-Coast Specialized Servers – Total Privacy via Encryption =—
Response:
Lets face it things are always a lot more complex then just this small statement "marriage troubles" and this is just from one of the parties involved. So, in this apparant brother/sister relationship, do you ever take her some place like maybe a cheap motel, that smells dingy (remember women are really into smell), in a different city just to smell her cunt. And do you tell her that’s exactly why you are there, i.e. to be away from all the required things of duty so you could just smell her beautiful cunt and lick her fucking ass. And maybe you could add a little icing, do it standing up with her peeking out the curtain while you fuck her ass. Hey, if you don’t some other guy will (or has.) Think about it we each of us stand alone beneath the sun and stars. Sure there is duty and money to make. The job and career and all. But bottom line is we need hard base sex. And woman needs to be needed, completely. You think is is not possible to totally need your woman and be man too. (not want, but need so much that you will die if you don’t have her in your life.) She is the most beautiful aspect of nature. Your have probably already lost her. I tell you what– I look for beautiful woman who are nice and honest and sincere and who are unhappy. They are the hottest. And I tell them I need to smell your cunt beautiful babe— too my one and only. "Face" <Face.um…@timelimit.yourserver.com> wrote in message
news:[email protected]… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> About six months ago my wife and I had everything going for us. We were > just about to buy a business, we were aslo trying for a child. The > Business was one that we had been running for her mum for 5 years. The > only difference being that we would be doing more paperwork. > This however made her feel down and trapped because she was tied to a > business. > We had also been having trouble concieving. we were both part of the > problem. All of a sudden she said that she did not want to have a child > and that we should wait. I was upset but agreed. Everything was not > okay though and she was really depressed and was crying a lot. > Eventually she said that she wasn’t sure she loved me like a husband > but more like a brother but that it was all in her head. She said that > this had happened before but it had passed and if we could just try to > be normal she thought it would do the same again. > We have had numerous talks since then and things have got a little > better. She is much happier with the business side of things but we > have not talked about children. The thing is we have only made love > once since then and she said that she wanted to but that it just didn’t > feel right. She said maybe it was too soon. She said she wanted to and > that it was nice during but it felt not quite right afterwards. I asked > if it was because she did not fancy me any more and she said it was not > as strong as that. She is quite shy in some ways and I have a hard time > getting stuff out of her especially about sex. Could it be I am not > giving her the excitment she wants? I have been having a tough time as > well not just because of no sex but mainly because there is no intimacy > from her. No cuddles or kisses or many signs of affection. She says > that she does not want to give me false hope and just to give her > time. > Today though I said I could not take this anymore and wanted to leave. > She does not want me to go and said she didn’t feel she wanted to go > down that road. My wife is also honest and would not say anything that > she did not believe herself and would not want to give me false hope. > She has told me a few weeks ago she thinks we will be okay. The only > real problem is that we are not having sex. She does not want to be in > a relationship where she is not having sex and live to regret it. she > says she loves me deeply and she hopes this feeling will pass. > She also says she does not think I love her fully. Not really and that > I should be honest with myself about it. Well I do love her and tell > her as well. We did have a patch after we were married where we did not > have sex. This was mainly my fault as there always seemed to be other > things to do or I was to tired and she was very hurt by this and > thought I did not find her attractive. This is something that she has > mentioned a few times and I believe maybe part of the problem. I have > shed a lot of tears and so has my wife. But I know she loves me and is > not having an affair. > Any thoughts on this? I love my wife dearly and wish to spend the rest > of my life with her. I am just having a tough time with this. > — > Face > ———————————————————————— > Face’s Profile:
http://www.weddingmanual.co.uk/member.php?action=getinfo&userid=52 > View this thread:
http://www.weddingmanual.co.uk/showthread.php?threadid=8817 > —-== Posted via Newsfeed.Com – Unlimited-Uncensored-Secure Usenet News==—- > http://www.newsfeed.com The #1 Newsgroup Service in the World! >100,000 Newsgroups > —= 19 East/West-Coast Specialized Servers – Total Privacy via Encryption
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Response:
"Ignoramus28710" <ignoramus28…@NOSPAM.28710.invalid> wrote in message
news:blemi3$t38$[email protected]… > why would your son not speak to you?
He says we made his life a "black hole"–of course he haas panic attacks, etc. I won’t take the blame for any of that. But it is very sad. I don’t contact him–his father does. But I refuse to be called awful names, he has to be responcibel for himself as adult. Norma – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> i > In article <vnlfdko6iji…@corp.supernews.com>, Norma wrote: > > All of this sound familiar!! My ex-spouse and I went through this. Giving > > birth makes it worse with the Post-natal Depression–I know!! > > Son he was having affairs and when it was a 16 years old girl, I got out!! > > I didn’t want to share any legal action with him. > > It also got worse and worse and we wouldn’t sleep in the same bed for months > > and then a full year. I filed for a legal separation to protect my assets, > > and then on to the attorney. Unfortunately I stayed 27 years to protect the > > children. It didn’t work and divorce anytime causes more and more trauma. > > We have a son who doesn’t speak to us–haven’t seen my Granddaughter for > > years!! > > Counseling did nothing for us, but it was worth a try. Good luck, but > > proceed with care. Norma > > "Face" <Face.um…@timelimit.yourserver.com> wrote in message > > news:[email protected]… > >> About six months ago my wife and I had everything going for us. We were > >> just about to buy a business, we were aslo trying for a child. The > >> Business was one that we had been running for her mum for 5 years. The > >> only difference being that we would be doing more paperwork. > >> This however made her feel down and trapped because she was tied to a > >> business. > >> We had also been having trouble concieving. we were both part of the > >> problem. All of a sudden she said that she did not want to have a child > >> and that we should wait. I was upset but agreed. Everything was not > >> okay though and she was really depressed and was crying a lot. > >> Eventually she said that she wasn’t sure she loved me like a husband > >> but more like a brother but that it was all in her head. She said that > >> this had happened before but it had passed and if we could just try to > >> be normal she thought it would do the same again. > >> We have had numerous talks since then and things have got a little > >> better. She is much happier with the business side of things but we > >> have not talked about children. The thing is we have only made love > >> once since then and she said that she wanted to but that it just didn’t > >> feel right. She said maybe it was too soon. She said she wanted to and > >> that it was nice during but it felt not quite right afterwards. I asked > >> if it was because she did not fancy me any more and she said it was not > >> as strong as that. She is quite shy in some ways and I have a hard time > >> getting stuff out of her especially about sex. Could it be I am not > >> giving her the excitment she wants? I have been having a tough time as > >> well not just because of no sex but mainly because there is no intimacy > >> from her. No cuddles or kisses or many signs of affection. She says > >> that she does not want to give me false hope and just to give her > >> time. > >> Today though I said I could not take this anymore and wanted to leave. > >> She does not want me to go and said she didn’t feel she wanted to go > >> down that road. My wife is also honest and would not say anything that > >> she did not believe herself and would not want to give me false hope. > >> She has told me a few weeks ago she thinks we will be okay. The only > >> real problem is that we are not having sex. She does not want to be in > >> a relationship where she is not having sex and live to regret it. she > >> says she loves me deeply and she hopes this feeling will pass. > >> She also says she does not think I love her fully. Not really and that > >> I should be honest with myself about it. Well I do love her and tell > >> her as well. We did have a patch after we were married where we did not > >> have sex. This was mainly my fault as there always seemed to be other > >> things to do or I was to tired and she was very hurt by this and > >> thought I did not find her attractive. This is something that she has > >> mentioned a few times and I believe maybe part of the problem. I have > >> shed a lot of tears and so has my wife. But I know she loves me and is > >> not having an affair. > >> Any thoughts on this? I love my wife dearly and wish to spend the rest > >> of my life with her. I am just having a tough time with this. > > http://www.weddingmanual.co.uk/member.php?action=getinfo&userid=52 > >> View this thread: > > http://www.weddingmanual.co.uk/showthread.php?threadid=8817 > > News==—- > >> http://www.newsfeed.com The #1 Newsgroup Service in the World! >100,000 > > Newsgroups > >=—
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Face <Face.um…@timelimit.yourserver.com> writes: > About six months ago my wife and I had everything going for us. We were > just about to buy a business, we were aslo trying for a child. The > Business was one that we had been running for her mum for 5 years. The > only difference being that we would be doing more paperwork. > This however made her feel down and trapped because she was tied to a > business. > We had also been having trouble concieving. we were both part of the > problem. All of a sudden she said that she did not want to have a child > and that we should wait. I was upset but agreed. Everything was not > okay though and she was really depressed and was crying a lot. > Eventually she said that she wasn’t sure she loved me like a husband > but more like a brother but that it was all in her head. She said that > this had happened before but it had passed and if we could just try to > be normal she thought it would do the same again. > We have had numerous talks since then and things have got a little > better. She is much happier with the business side of things but we > have not talked about children. The thing is we have only made love > once since then and she said that she wanted to but that it just didn’t > feel right. She said maybe it was too soon. She said she wanted to and > that it was nice during but it felt not quite right afterwards. I asked > if it was because she did not fancy me any more and she said it was not > as strong as that. She is quite shy in some ways and I have a hard time > getting stuff out of her especially about sex. Could it be I am not > giving her the excitment she wants? I have been having a tough time as > well not just because of no sex but mainly because there is no intimacy > from her. No cuddles or kisses or many signs of affection. She says > that she does not want to give me false hope and just to give her > time. > Today though I said I could not take this anymore and wanted to leave. > She does not want me to go and said she didn’t feel she wanted to go > down that road. My wife is also honest and would not say anything that > she did not believe herself and would not want to give me false hope. > She has told me a few weeks ago she thinks we will be okay. The only > real problem is that we are not having sex. She does not want to be in > a relationship where she is not having sex and live to regret it. she > says she loves me deeply and she hopes this feeling will pass. > She also says she does not think I love her fully. Not really and that > I should be honest with myself about it. Well I do love her and tell > her as well. We did have a patch after we were married where we did not > have sex. This was mainly my fault as there always seemed to be other > things to do or I was to tired and she was very hurt by this and > thought I did not find her attractive. This is something that she has > mentioned a few times and I believe maybe part of the problem. I have > shed a lot of tears and so has my wife. But I know she loves me and is > not having an affair. > Any thoughts on this? I love my wife dearly and wish to spend the rest > of my life with her. I am just having a tough time with this.
Sounds like she is depressed. If you are depressed it puts such a damper on positive feelings that it is very hard to feel like you really love someone (or like they really love you). The other symptoms match up. Here’s the rub. If she _is_ depressed, for you to suggest that will sound to her like you are blaming her. I would, immediately, try to find a good couples therapist and go see them. Talk about what things are like, what you both would want them to be like, etc. Doug
Response:
All of this sound familiar!! My ex-spouse and I went through this. Giving birth makes it worse with the Post-natal Depression–I know!! Son he was having affairs and when it was a 16 years old girl, I got out!! I didn’t want to share any legal action with him. It also got worse and worse and we wouldn’t sleep in the same bed for months and then a full year. I filed for a legal separation to protect my assets, and then on to the attorney. Unfortunately I stayed 27 years to protect the children. It didn’t work and divorce anytime causes more and more trauma. We have a son who doesn’t speak to us–haven’t seen my Granddaughter for years!! Counseling did nothing for us, but it was worth a try. Good luck, but proceed with care. Norma "Face" <Face.um…@timelimit.yourserver.com> wrote in message
news:[email protected]… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> About six months ago my wife and I had everything going for us. We were > just about to buy a business, we were aslo trying for a child. The > Business was one that we had been running for her mum for 5 years. The > only difference being that we would be doing more paperwork. > This however made her feel down and trapped because she was tied to a > business. > We had also been having trouble concieving. we were both part of the > problem. All of a sudden she said that she did not want to have a child > and that we should wait. I was upset but agreed. Everything was not > okay though and she was really depressed and was crying a lot. > Eventually she said that she wasn’t sure she loved me like a husband > but more like a brother but that it was all in her head. She said that > this had happened before but it had passed and if we could just try to > be normal she thought it would do the same again. > We have had numerous talks since then and things have got a little > better. She is much happier with the business side of things but we > have not talked about children. The thing is we have only made love > once since then and she said that she wanted to but that it just didn’t > feel right. She said maybe it was too soon. She said she wanted to and > that it was nice during but it felt not quite right afterwards. I asked > if it was because she did not fancy me any more and she said it was not > as strong as that. She is quite shy in some ways and I have a hard time > getting stuff out of her especially about sex. Could it be I am not > giving her the excitment she wants? I have been having a tough time as > well not just because of no sex but mainly because there is no intimacy > from her. No cuddles or kisses or many signs of affection. She says > that she does not want to give me false hope and just to give her > time. > Today though I said I could not take this anymore and wanted to leave. > She does not want me to go and said she didn’t feel she wanted to go > down that road. My wife is also honest and would not say anything that > she did not believe herself and would not want to give me false hope. > She has told me a few weeks ago she thinks we will be okay. The only > real problem is that we are not having sex. She does not want to be in > a relationship where she is not having sex and live to regret it. she > says she loves me deeply and she hopes this feeling will pass. > She also says she does not think I love her fully. Not really and that > I should be honest with myself about it. Well I do love her and tell > her as well. We did have a patch after we were married where we did not > have sex. This was mainly my fault as there always seemed to be other > things to do or I was to tired and she was very hurt by this and > thought I did not find her attractive. This is something that she has > mentioned a few times and I believe maybe part of the problem. I have > shed a lot of tears and so has my wife. But I know she loves me and is > not having an affair. > Any thoughts on this? I love my wife dearly and wish to spend the rest > of my life with her. I am just having a tough time with this. > — > Face > ———————————————————————— > Face’s Profile:
http://www.weddingmanual.co.uk/member.php?action=getinfo&userid=52 > View this thread:
http://www.weddingmanual.co.uk/showthread.php?threadid=8817 > —-== Posted via Newsfeed.Com – Unlimited-Uncensored-Secure Usenet News==—- > http://www.newsfeed.com The #1 Newsgroup Service in the World! >100,000 Newsgroups > —= 19 East/West-Coast Specialized Servers – Total Privacy via Encryption
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Response:
About six months ago my wife and I had everything going for us. We were just about to buy a business, we were aslo trying for a child. The Business was one that we had been running for her mum for 5 years. The only difference being that we would be doing more paperwork. This however made her feel down and trapped because she was tied to a business. We had also been having trouble concieving. we were both part of the problem. All of a sudden she said that she did not want to have a child and that we should wait. I was upset but agreed. Everything was not okay though and she was really depressed and was crying a lot. Eventually she said that she wasn’t sure she loved me like a husband but more like a brother but that it was all in her head. She said that this had happened before but it had passed and if we could just try to be normal she thought it would do the same again. We have had numerous talks since then and things have got a little better. She is much happier with the business side of things but we have not talked about children. The thing is we have only made love once since then and she said that she wanted to but that it just didn’t feel right. She said maybe it was too soon. She said she wanted to and that it was nice during but it felt not quite right afterwards. I asked if it was because she did not fancy me any more and she said it was not as strong as that. She is quite shy in some ways and I have a hard time getting stuff out of her especially about sex. Could it be I am not giving her the excitment she wants? I have been having a tough time as well not just because of no sex but mainly because there is no intimacy from her. No cuddles or kisses or many signs of affection. She says that she does not want to give me false hope and just to give her time. Today though I said I could not take this anymore and wanted to leave. She does not want me to go and said she didn’t feel she wanted to go down that road. My wife is also honest and would not say anything that she did not believe herself and would not want to give me false hope. She has told me a few weeks ago she thinks we will be okay. The only real problem is that we are not having sex. She does not want to be in a relationship where she is not having sex and live to regret it. she says she loves me deeply and she hopes this feeling will pass. She also says she does not think I love her fully. Not really and that I should be honest with myself about it. Well I do love her and tell her as well. We did have a patch after we were married where we did not have sex. This was mainly my fault as there always seemed to be other things to do or I was to tired and she was very hurt by this and thought I did not find her attractive. This is something that she has mentioned a few times and I believe maybe part of the problem. I have shed a lot of tears and so has my wife. But I know she loves me and is not having an affair. Any thoughts on this? I love my wife dearly and wish to spend the rest of my life with her. I am just having a tough time with this. — Face ———————————————————————— Face’s Profile: http://www.weddingmanual.co.uk/member.php?action=getinfo&userid=52 View this thread: http://www.weddingmanual.co.uk/showthread.php?threadid=8817 —-== Posted via Newsfeed.Com – Unlimited-Uncensored-Secure Usenet News==—- http://www.newsfeed.com The #1 Newsgroup Service in the World! >100,000 Newsgroups —= 19 East/West-Coast Specialized Servers – Total Privacy via Encryption =—
Response:
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