Depression Learning

Im feeling Suicidal,… Not Good – on Paxil – Venting

Question:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – : : This morning I was the closest I have been for a long time to opening up my : wrists again. Not good. Every morning seems hellish to me. I just cant face : the world anymore. Hi Lok, Years ago, I was seriously considering suicide myself. There are times when our internal pain just becomes far too much to bear. We feel that the pain alone might kill us, if we don’t kill ourselves’ first. In my own case, I eventually realized that what I wanted to kill was not myself, but rather the pain inside me. There are ways to kill our pain without killing ourselves. Believe me, there are future days worth living for, and many people we can help with our experience. Please stand with us against the pain, and help us to one day make such pain extinct. Very Best Wishes, Arthur

Great post Arthur!  I’m with you babe! Di

Response:

Hey ho everyone, hows it going? Have the trolls left? I havnt been in here for a bit as I have been a bit blue of late. This morning I was the closest I have been for a long time to opening up my wrists again. Not good. Every morning seems hellish to me. I just cant face the world anymore. Ive been hiding it under a mak of "copingness" but my protective walls are starting to crack. Im rational, I know I dont want to die, but I just cannot stand this terrible world im in, I just dont fit. The paxil doesnt seem to help, My doctors not that helpful. Dunno what to say really, just need to vent. Ive practically abandoned my Paxil help site, I just feel distant to everything. I just want to press a button and dissapear. I dont know what Im going to do. My life is ok, ok job, ok friends, family ok, relationship’s ok, everything is ok, except I hate myself, and everything around me. Life "sucks" as the yanks say. I know you guys/gals cant help. I dont think anyone can. I just want to be happy. Love LoK PAXIL / Seroxat – Heaven Sent or Hell Bent? www.cerbernet.co.uk/orlok/paxil/

Response:

Im rational, I know I dont want to die, but I just cannot stand this terrible world im in, I just dont fit. The paxil doesnt seem to help, My doctors not that helpful.

please don’t become a statistic. One drug one doc doesn’t make the end of the road. You will need aggressive treatment and unfortunately only you can initiate it by seeking assistance from someone who is capable of treating depression with skill and experience. I dont know what Im going to do.

be proactive for your health and welfare and the welfare of your family and friends. I know you guys/gals cant help. I dont think anyone can. I just want to be happy.

I would settle for undepressed for now. Which is not happy just not depressed. There is help but you can only seek it-it won’t come to you or appear at your doorstep. please make some phone calls and get some assistance-recitivistic depressions are treatable. LM

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hey ho everyone, hows it going? Have the trolls left? I havnt been in here for a bit as I have been a bit blue of late. This morning I was the closest I have been for a long time to opening up my wrists again. Not good. Every morning seems hellish to me. I just cant face the world anymore. Ive been hiding it under a mak of "copingness" but my protective walls are starting to crack. Im rational, I know I dont want to die, but I just cannot stand this terrible world im in, I just dont fit. The paxil doesnt seem to help, My doctors not that helpful. Dunno what to say really, just need to vent. Ive practically abandoned my Paxil help site, I just feel distant to everything. I just want to press a button and dissapear. I dont know what Im going to do. My life is ok, ok job, ok friends, family ok, relationship’s ok, everything is ok, except I hate myself, and everything around me. Life "sucks" as the yanks say. I know you guys/gals cant help. I dont think anyone can. I just want to be happy. Love LoK

Dear Lok, I feel really bad for you, it sounds like you are having a rough time. Please call your doctor as soon as possible. Feeling suicidal and wanting to hurt yourself are serious problems and they need to be dealt with now. I understand you feel hopeless and feel that nothing can help you, that is not true, there is something out there that will help you, the key is to find it. Please go to the doctors now!! Paxil may not be the medication for you, but there are so many meds or med combos that will help you, but you won`t feel better unless you try something new. I was in really bad shape two years ago, life did suck for me, but the right med plus CBT turned my life around and I can honestly say for the most part I am happy now. Don`t *accept* the way you feel as the way it has to be or is going to always be, it can get alot better. Please get some help and remember we are here for you too. {{{{{Lok}}}}} Jackie "When you get to the end of all the light you know and it’s time to step into the darkness of the unknown, faith is knowing that one of two things shall happen: either you will be given something solid to stand on, or you will be taught how to fly."

Response:

writes: – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hey ho everyone, hows it going? Have the trolls left? I havnt been in here for a bit as I have been a bit blue of late. This morning I was the closest I have been for a long time to opening up my wrists again. Not good. Every morning seems hellish to me. I just cant face the world anymore. Ive been hiding it under a mak of "copingness" but my protective walls are starting to crack. Im rational, I know I dont want to die, but I just cannot stand this terrible world im in, I just dont fit. The paxil doesnt seem to help, My doctors not that helpful. Dunno what to say really, just need to vent. Ive practically abandoned my Paxil help site, I just feel distant to everything. I just want to press a button and dissapear. I dont know what Im going to do. My life is ok, ok job, ok friends, family ok, relationship’s ok, everything is ok, except I hate myself, and everything around me. Life "sucks" as the yanks say. I know you guys/gals cant help. I dont think anyone can. I just want to be happy. Love LoK

LoK!  Please call your doctor or any other doctor.  Pick one out of the yellow pages if you don’t have one recommended to you.  You need to talk to a professional right now.  Please!  Don’t let me worry about you one more minute!  I mean it.  I don’t need any more stress today!!!  Just trying to push, no, shove you to the doctor’s.  Call now and post back!! Hugs! Di

Response:

Hey ho everyone, hows it going? Have the trolls left? I havnt been in here for a bit as I have been a bit blue of late. This morning I was the closest I have been for a long time to opening up my wrists again. Not good. Every morning seems hellish to me. I just cant face the world anymore. Ive been hiding it under a mak of "copingness" but my protective walls are starting to crack. Im rational, I know I dont want to die, but I just cannot stand this terrible world im in, I just dont fit. The paxil doesnt seem to help, My doctors not that helpful.

Hi Lok, You may need a higher dose of Paxil, augmentation of Paxil with another med, or a change to another AD. But *something* is going to eventually help. Feeling your doc isn’t helping may be a symptom of your depression, or a fact. And telling the difference is tough when your depressed and confused. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Dunno what to say really, just need to vent. Ive practically abandoned my Paxil help site, I just feel distant to everything. I just want to press a button and dissapear. I dont know what Im going to do. My life is ok, ok job, ok friends, family ok, relationship’s ok, everything is ok, except I hate myself, and everything around me. Life "sucks" as the yanks say. I know you guys/gals cant help. I dont think anyone can.

All the above are symptoms of depression and not facts. I just want to be happy. Love LoK

Call your doc, tell him how your feeling and what your thinking. If he doesn’t want to help, find another doc. {{{{LoK}}} Take care, Chip PAXIL / Seroxat – Heaven Sent or Hell Bent? www.cerbernet.co.uk/orlok/paxil/

Before you buy.

Response:

Dear Orlok I’m in the same boat except am still dealing with the "I wish I’d never been born" but get buy with the idea that "they" (obnoxious siblings and others) won’t get the satisfaction of calling me week. Meds don’t seem to work, Alcohol relieves the symptoms. I know it’s no long term solution but it makes the fear go away. phriii – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hey ho everyone, hows it going? Have the trolls left? I havnt been in here for a bit as I have been a bit blue of late. This morning I was the closest I have been for a long time to opening up my wrists again. Not good. Every morning seems hellish to me. I just cant face the world anymore. Ive been hiding it under a mak of "copingness" but my protective walls are starting to crack. Im rational, I know I dont want to die, but I just cannot stand this terrible world im in, I just dont fit. The paxil doesnt seem to help, My doctors not that helpful. Dunno what to say really, just need to vent. Ive practically abandoned my Paxil help site, I just feel distant to everything. I just want to press a button and dissapear. I dont know what Im going to do. My life is ok, ok job, ok friends, family ok, relationship’s ok, everything is ok, except I hate myself, and everything around me. Life "sucks" as the yanks say. I know you guys/gals cant help. I dont think anyone can. I just want to be happy. Love LoK PAXIL / Seroxat – Heaven Sent or Hell Bent? www.cerbernet.co.uk/orlok/paxil/

Response:

You want to live…you said so yourself.  I believe that you are a child of God and that it is not God’s will for you to take your own life. Remember that old expression: "Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem." With love and prayers for your happiness and recovery… Laurina

Response:

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Dear Orlok I’m in the same boat except am still dealing with the "I wish I’d never been born" but get buy with the idea that "they" (obnoxious siblings and others) won’t get the satisfaction of calling me week. Meds don’t seem to work, Alcohol relieves the symptoms. I know it’s no long term solution but it makes the fear go away. phriii Hey ho everyone, hows it going? Have the trolls left? I havnt been in here for a bit as I have been a bit blue of late. This morning I was the closest I have been for a long time to opening up my wrists again. Not good. Every morning seems hellish to me. I just cant face the world anymore. Ive been hiding it under a mak of "copingness" but my protective walls are starting to crack. Im rational, I know I dont want to die, but I just cannot stand this terrible world im in, I just dont fit. The paxil doesnt seem to help, My doctors not that helpful. Dunno what to say really, just need to vent. Ive practically abandoned my Paxil help site, I just feel distant to everything. I just want to press a button and dissapear. I dont know what Im going to do. My life is ok, ok job, ok friends, family ok, relationship’s ok, everything is ok, except I hate myself, and everything around me. Life "sucks" as the yanks say. I know you guys/gals cant help. I dont think anyone can. I just want to be happy. Love LoK

I tried alcohol for a while.  It doesn’t work.  I’d feel more depressed and panicky the next door with a pounding headache.  It may solve it for the moment, but you’re right, not long term.  Don’t do it!  Stay away from it.  It will only make matters worse, believe me. Di

Response:

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hey ho everyone, hows it going? Have the trolls left? I havnt been in here for a bit as I have been a bit blue of late. This morning I was the closest I have been for a long time to opening up my wrists again. Not good. Every morning seems hellish to me. I just cant face the world anymore. Ive been hiding it under a mak of "copingness" but my protective walls are starting to crack. Im rational, I know I dont want to die, but I just cannot stand this terrible world im in, I just dont fit. The paxil doesnt seem to help, My doctors not that helpful. Dunno what to say really, just need to vent. Ive practically abandoned my Paxil help site, I just feel distant to everything. I just want to press a button and dissapear. I dont know what Im going to do. My life is ok, ok job, ok friends, family ok, relationship’s ok, everything is ok, except I hate myself, and everything around me. Life "sucks" as the yanks say. I know you guys/gals cant help. I dont think anyone can. I just want to be happy. Love LoK

Lok, I have never been suicidal, but I do know how it feels to want to go to sleep forever and not deal with anything. I know everything seems bleak now, and it feels like it will always be this way, but it won’t.  Your life will be happy again.  I, for one, have proven that. Please tell your family and friends how you are feeling right away.  They need to know.  Don’t keep these feelings to yourself.  Call your doctor or go to the ER.  There is treatment that will make you feel better.  You may need a raise in your Paxil dosage or a different medication entirely.  Something will work for you.  I promise. In the meantime, get outside and get some exercise.  As Char’s shrink says, "Depression can’t take down a moving target."  Also, it makes it harder for the vultures to land! I will be thinking and praying for you. Love, Dot Before you buy.

Response:

: : This morning I was the closest I have been for a long time to opening up my : wrists again. Not good. Every morning seems hellish to me. I just cant face : the world anymore. Hi Lok, Years ago, I was seriously considering suicide myself. There are times when our internal pain just becomes far too much to bear. We feel that the pain alone might kill us, if we don’t kill ourselves’ first. In my own case, I eventually realized that what I wanted to kill was not myself, but rather the pain inside me. There are ways to kill our pain without killing ourselves. Believe me, there are future days worth living for, and many people we can help with our experience. Please stand with us against the pain, and help us to one day make such pain extinct. Very Best Wishes, Arthur

Response:

ok, i know it sounds cheesy, but those suicide ohone numers are there ofr sa rason. the one night i was actually going to kill myself, i called one and the lady talked me down from it. please plaese please, before you do anyhting, call the hotlines! they don;t make your pain go away, but they do avert your attention for a little while. i don’t know your situaiton, but if it is of any help, the only thing thta stopped me was visualizing my mother having to deal with making funeral arrangments. ok, i’m crying now…. also, i my best friend tried to kill herself in 8th grade. very tough time for her. i was/ am so angry at her for even trying and that was 8 years ago. i’ve found htat when someone even tried ot kill themselves, the people left behind are so angry and guilt ridden that that’s all that person is remembered for. you don’t want to be remembered that way. there are people who love you. please, if for no nothing else, don’t put them through that. begging and supporting as much as i can, alisa

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hey ho everyone, hows it going? Have the trolls left? I havnt been in here for a bit as I have been a bit blue of late. This morning I was the closest I have been for a long time to opening up my wrists again. Not good. Every morning seems hellish to me. I just cant face the world anymore. Ive been hiding it under a mak of "copingness" but my protective walls are starting to crack. Im rational, I know I dont want to die, but I just cannot stand this terrible world im in, I just dont fit. The paxil doesnt seem to help, My doctors not that helpful. Dunno what to say really, just need to vent. Ive practically abandoned my Paxil help site, I just feel distant to everything. I just want to press a button and dissapear. I dont know what Im going to do. My life is ok, ok job, ok friends, family ok, relationship’s ok, everything is ok, except I hate myself, and everything around me. Life "sucks" as the yanks say. I know you guys/gals cant help. I dont think anyone can. I just want to be happy. Love LoK PAXIL / Seroxat – Heaven Sent or Hell Bent? www.cerbernet.co.uk/orlok/paxil/

Response:

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