DeLurking
Question:
I missed the original also, but seeing these responses makes me realize that I’m not the only one with a terrific spouse. My hubby has really supported me for the 5 years we’ve been together. Is there a support group for spouses of depressed people?? Marie – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – {{{{{{JOHN}}}}}} My husband of29 years is a Saint. He has always stood by me and made me feel like this beast is something we were fighting together. God bless you and the spouses who have to contend with us and our "pets" (the demon beasts). If you would like to e-mail Bill (my husband), please do. He has always attended apppointments, encouraged hobbies, and been my right hand in everything. Don’t forget to take care of yourself. I know it is a hard thing to do when you feel you are holding up the world. Dianne -in Memphis, who knows your job isn’t an easy one. You know, the most encouraging responses I have had have come from folks like you and a few others who also have spouses who try to play like a team. For a very long time, I have had no one to talk to about what’s going on with Corena and with me. All I can say is that after meeting the folk here on asd (and #grinchasd) I don’t feel as alone in the fight. <sniffle Hi John, I must have missed your original post. I am also the depressed wife of one of those great husbands. He has really stood by me at all times, fighting the fight right up there with me. I know it takes a toll on him, it is not easy to live with a depressed person (understatement of the year …), but he’s stuck with it, for which I love him more than I can say. Take care, Marien — For more information about this service, send e-mail to:
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – {{{{{{JOHN}}}}}} My husband of29 years is a Saint. He has always stood by me and made me feel like this beast is something we were fighting together. God bless you and the spouses who have to contend with us and our "pets" (the demon beasts). If you would like to e-mail Bill (my husband), please do. He has always attended apppointments, encouraged hobbies, and been my right hand in everything. Don’t forget to take care of yourself. I know it is a hard thing to do when you feel you are holding up the world. Dianne -in Memphis, who knows your job isn’t an easy one. You know, the most encouraging responses I have had have come from folks like you and a few others who also have spouses who try to play like a team. For a very long time, I have had no one to talk to about what’s going on with Corena and with me. All I can say is that after meeting the folk here on asd (and #grinchasd) I don’t feel as alone in the fight. <sniffle
Hi John, I must have missed your original post. I am also the depressed wife of one of those great husbands. He has really stood by me at all times, fighting the fight right up there with me. I know it takes a toll on him, it is not easy to live with a depressed person (understatement of the year …), but he’s stuck with it, for which I love him more than I can say. Take care, Marien — For more information about this service, send e-mail to:
Response:
} {{{{{{JOHN}}}}}} My husband of29 years is a Saint. He has always stood by me } and made me feel like this beast is something we were fighting together. God } bless you and the spouses who have to contend with us and our "pets" (the demon } beasts). If you would like to e-mail Bill (my husband), please do. He has } always attended apppointments, encouraged hobbies, and been my right hand in } everything. Don’t forget to take care of yourself. I know it is a hard thing to } do when you feel you are holding up the world. Dianne -in Memphis, who knows } your job isn’t an easy one.
You know, the most encouraging responses I have had have come from folks like you and a few others who also have spouses who try to play like a team. For a very long time, I have had no one to talk to about what’s going on with Corena and with me. All I can say is that after meeting the folk here on asd (and #grinchasd) I don’t feel as alone in the fight. <sniffle Jon-Jon
Response:
{{{{{{JOHN}}}}}} My husband of29 years is a Saint. He has always stood by me and made me feel like this beast is something we were fighting together. God bless you and the spouses who have to contend with us and our "pets" (the demon beasts). If you would like to e-mail Bill (my husband), please do. He has always attended apppointments, encouraged hobbies, and been my right hand in everything.
Diane….. *sigh*…. your husband got any unattached brothers??? Mercy
Response:
{{{{{{JOHN}}}}}} My husband of29 years is a Saint. He has always stood by me and made me feel like this beast is something we were fighting together. God bless you and the spouses who have to contend with us and our "pets" (the demon beasts). If you would like to e-mail Bill (my husband), please do. He has always attended apppointments, encouraged hobbies, and been my right hand in everything. Don’t forget to take care of yourself. I know it is a hard thing to do when you feel you are holding up the world. Dianne -in Memphis, who knows your job isn’t an easy one.
Response:
It was great to chat to you last night. Please keep coming back Julie — I love a sunburnt country A land of sweeping plains Of rugged mountain ranges Of droughts and flooding rains I love her far horizons I love her jewel seas Her beauty and her terror The wide brown land for me Dorothy McKellar – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hello: I’ll try to introduce myself properly. I’ve been lurking here for a while. While I am not depressed, my wife suffers severely. She has been on Zoloft at 200mg/day and is now using 100mg/day. The last six weeks have been hell for our whole family as we couldn’t afford the drugs. She’s just started back on yesterday so we’ve got at least 2 more weeks to hell to go through. I try to push her a little to do things she enjoys, like singing in a community choir. I always know she’s doing really badly when she talks about not going. Her depression goes way back. There was a major break a couple of years ago when our 5 children were aprehended (unjustly) by the provincial (anti)Social Services ministry. It was a a result of a calculated smear campaign organized by a really sick individual combinde with over worked social workers. Not enough research was done and all hell broke loose. We were told (by our lawyer) that we could fight the abduction win and be without the children for up to 2 years, or play the game and have the kids back in a few months. They were gone for just over 3 months. I wached Corena’s (my wife) spirit seem to break. We got the children back in December, she pretended to hold it together till last February, when all she could do was sit in ball on the couch. She was subsequently diagnosed with major depression and moderate panic disorder. I don’t know how many people here are spouses of depressed people, and this seems to be a good place. I got a lot of encouragement form reading the posts here. Thanks. John
Response:
Hello: I’ll try to introduce myself properly.
Well come, John. I don’t know how many people here are spouses of depressed people, and this seems to be a good place. I got a lot of encouragement form reading the posts here. Thanks. John
I am a depressed person and I feel sorry for mein Lieber because I know how difficult it is to live with me; I couldn’t do it. You seem to be very loving and understanding of your wife what helps is that you know and understand the cause. I think I can understand also, to be a mother and have my children taken from me unjustly, to lose confidence in my ability to protect my children, to lose confidence in the ’system’ that would unjustly take my children, to lose confidence in the laws created to protect this from happening, to know that you are at the mercy of a bureaucrat who only reacts to stated laws and loses the individual. I don’t know if she will ever get this back it is so much to lose, who can she trust? John, I feel for you, you have a very hard job ahead of you because whose shoulder are you going to cry on when you need it? You have to be strong for you, for her and for the children. Depressives have to fight the demons in our heads but you have real demons to fight, and you have to protect her from the demons in her head. Well come to the Pit, you are going to need all the help you can get. Come in and cry any time, we will listen. I respect you for what you have done and for what you will have to do, blessings on you, John. <~~ a spell to ward off the demons, you will need it. – Hexe The Pit & Web Ring: http://foodbeverage.321media.com/pit/pit.htm "You don’t love me." I accused; I could not get you to see. But I had the wrong perspective; The truth – I didn’t love me. — BNR
Response:
} } Hello: } } I’ve sorta been lurking on ASD now for about 2 weeks now. } Hard to keep up with all those postings, but never really knew what to } say. I saw your post, and being a little nervous about talking about } it, thought I’d reply personnally. I’m kinda in the same boat as you. } As long as I’ve known my wife, she’s had depression to some extent. I } guess things really came to a head in the Fall of ‘96 when she had a } nervous breakdown while I was away on course. She’s on Zoloft – 200mg } per day, clonazapam and perphenazine for her depression, and some } others to control migraines.
Yep Corena has migraines too. She hasn’t found anything for them yet tho. } I hear what you’re saying about trying to get her to do some } of the things that she used to enjoy doing. Amanda (my wife) used to } love ceramics, cross-stitch, and just about any kind of craft work. } Now she finds it difficult just to get out from under the covers. } Trying to be supportive, but sometimes find it difficult to carry the } load of two people when it comes to looking after 4 children. She’s } seeing a therapist, and a psychiatrist. Having had some tests done, } it turns out that there is no psychological disease causing her } depression, but there was childhood trauma that she is seeing a SOAR } cousellor for.
We got to the point where we took in a boarder who helps us out in many ways. Before he moved in he was almost in the capacity of psyc nurse for Corena. He helps us both keep going. He has some problems too, and we all worked together on everything. The hardest part for me is finding people to talk with who have some clue about depression. That’s why I got into asd. At least here people know the disease. } She has so low a self-esteem, self-confidence, and self-worth, } that she feels like she can’t do anything. Know that you can relate. } I also know that I need someone to talk to….. to help me understand } what’s going on. Have had some solo counselling sessions, but mostly } just attend with her. That’s kinda the reason why I started looking } at ASD…. hoping to find some answers, and maybe get her interested } enough to try and post herself.
Corena too I hope. Thanks for your post it helps to know I’m not alone. Jon-Jon
Response:
Hello: I’ll try to introduce myself properly. I’ve been lurking here for a while. While I am not depressed, my wife suffers severely. She has been on Zoloft at 200mg/day and is now using 100mg/day. The last six weeks have been hell for our whole family as we couldn’t afford the drugs. She’s just started back on yesterday so we’ve got at least 2 more weeks to hell to go through. I try to push her a little to do things she enjoys, like singing in a community choir. I always know she’s doing really badly when she talks about not going.
<snipped Hi John. I’ve sorta been lurking on ASD now for about 2 weeks now. Hard to keep up with all those postings, but never really knew what to say. I saw your post, and being a little nervous about talking about it, thought I’d reply personnally. I’m kinda in the same boat as you. As long as I’ve known my wife, she’s had depression to some extent. I guess things really came to a head in the Fall of ‘96 when she had a nervous breakdown while I was away on course. She’s on Zoloft – 200mg per day, clonazapam and perphenazine for her depression, and some others to control migraines. I hear what you’re saying about trying to get her to do some of the things that she used to enjoy doing. Amanda (my wife) used to love ceramics, cross-stitch, and just about any kind of craft work. Now she finds it difficult just to get out from under the covers. Trying to be supportive, but sometimes find it difficult to carry the load of two people when it comes to looking after 4 children. She’s seeing a therapist, and a psychiatrist. Having had some tests done, it turns out that there is no psychological disease causing her depression, but there was childhood trauma that she is seeing a SOAR cousellor for. She has so low a self-esteem, self-confidence, and self-worth, that she feels like she can’t do anything. Know that you can relate. I also know that I need someone to talk to….. to help me understand what’s going on. Have had some solo counselling sessions, but mostly just attend with her. That’s kinda the reason why I started looking at ASD…. hoping to find some answers, and maybe get her interested enough to try and post herself. Anyway. FWIW, thanks for posting. It brought me out of my shell and made me go through with this. Have strength my friend. Take care. Steve <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< I’ve only just begun to understand There’s so much left I need to learn. <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Response:
} Welcome John, } Maybe you could talk your wife into joining the group, too. How nice to be } so concerned on her behalf. Many depressed people suffer alone and without } a lot of direct support from those around them — like family. Your wife } may not always recognize your support, but keep it in front of her, and } don’t be afraid to seek support for yourself. I know my depression effects } me most directly, but I would be callous not to know it very much effects } those around me as well, especially my husband and children. }
Thanks Karen, I will be trying to get her to join. She’s a bit of a technophobe, so it may take a while. (I’ll get her to watch over my shoulder for a while) We are really lucky. Corena is such a good and giving person, that when the crash hit we got so much love and support it was overwhelming. Corena has trouble accepting it all, but I guess that’s par for the desease. I have so much trouble understanding what she’s going through. She describes it as best she can, but it is so far beyond my experience. That’s why I started lurking here. I needed to find out what other were going through. Then some jerk posted a troll, and I had to respond. (It’s not polite to yell somewhere when you haven’t been properly introduced. :-) ) Now I’ll ask questions directly and let you guys help. BTW Thanks all for the hugs and support. John
Response:
Welcome John, Maybe you could talk your wife into joining the group, too. How nice to be so concerned on her behalf. Many depressed people suffer alone and without a lot of direct support from those around them — like family. Your wife may not always recognize your support, but keep it in front of her, and don’t be afraid to seek support for yourself. I know my depression effects me most directly, but I would be callous not to know it very much effects those around me as well, especially my husband and children. — ~Karen C. ***just trying to stay out of my own way… I’ve been lurking here for a while. While I am not depressed, my wife
suffers We were told (by our lawyer) – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – that we could fight the abduction win and be without the children for up to 2 years, or play the game and have the kids back in a few months. They were gone for just over 3 months.
Response:
Welcome John: What a wonderful thing to see someone who loves and lives with someone with depression seek out support and information. This is a great place, which you’ve already noticed. I suffer myself and am close with someone else who does. It is difficult at times. Difficult because you care so much about them but know that there is only so much you can do. Join us, ask questions, someone may have been there and can try to help. AND you get your first ASD cyberhug! ((((((((((John))))))))) (((((((Coreina))))))) ((((((Kids)))))))) Dolly – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Hello: I’ll try to introduce myself properly. I’ve been lurking here for a while. While I am not depressed, my wife suffers severely. She has been on Zoloft at 200mg/day and is now using 100mg/day. The last six weeks have been hell for our whole family as we couldn’t afford the drugs. She’s just started back on yesterday so we’ve got at least 2 more weeks to hell to go through. I try to push her a little to do things she enjoys, like singing in a community choir. I always know she’s doing really badly when she talks about not going. Her depression goes way back. There was a major break a couple of years ago when our 5 children were aprehended (unjustly) by the provincial (anti)Social Services ministry. It was a a result of a calculated smear campaign organized by a really sick individual combinde with over worked social workers. Not enough research was done and all hell broke loose. We were told (by our lawyer) that we could fight the abduction win and be without the children for up to 2 years, or play the game and have the kids back in a few months. They were gone for just over 3 months. I wached Corena’s (my wife) spirit seem to break. We got the children back in December, she pretended to hold it together till last February, when all she could do was sit in ball on the couch. She was subsequently diagnosed with major depression and moderate panic disorder. I don’t know how many people here are spouses of depressed people, and this seems to be a good place. I got a lot of encouragement form reading the posts here. Thanks. John
Response:
Hello: I’ll try to introduce myself properly. I’ve been lurking here for a while. While I am not depressed, my wife suffers severely. She has been on Zoloft at 200mg/day and is now using 100mg/day. The last six weeks have been hell for our whole family as we couldn’t afford the drugs. She’s just started back on yesterday so we’ve got at least 2 more weeks to hell to go through. I try to push her a little to do things she enjoys, like singing in a community choir. I always know she’s doing really badly when she talks about not going. Her depression goes way back. There was a major break a couple of years ago when our 5 children were aprehended (unjustly) by the provincial (anti)Social Services ministry. It was a a result of a calculated smear campaign organized by a really sick individual combinde with over worked social workers. Not enough research was done and all hell broke loose. We were told (by our lawyer) that we could fight the abduction win and be without the children for up to 2 years, or play the game and have the kids back in a few months. They were gone for just over 3 months. I wached Corena’s (my wife) spirit seem to break. We got the children back in December, she pretended to hold it together till last February, when all she could do was sit in ball on the couch. She was subsequently diagnosed with major depression and moderate panic disorder. I don’t know how many people here are spouses of depressed people, and this seems to be a good place. I got a lot of encouragement form reading the posts here. Thanks. John
Response:
Welcome John, Maybe you could talk your wife into joining the group, too. How nice to be so concerned on her behalf. Many depressed people suffer alone and without a lot of direct support from those around them — like family. Your wife may not always recognize your support, but keep it in front of her, and don’t be afraid to seek support for yourself. I know my depression effects me most directly, but I would be callous not to know it very much effects those around me as well, especially my husband and children. — ~Karen C. ***just trying to stay out of my own way…
Can I second that John, your support is really nice and increadibly hard to do through all the tricks that depression plays on us. There is nothing quite like asd full strength. PaulN (frozen north)
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