Depression Learning

damaged mind and damaged dreams…

Question:

What an amazing first post.  You have quite a talent for self-expression. Compelling.  Made me want to know more about you from the first paragraph. …one just seems to follow from the other, doesn’t it? after all…one can’t plan on getting a whole functioning product out of a damaged, malfunctioning machine.

Very profound statement. what can i say…this is my first post.  long time listener but first time caller…for months now i’ve been looking at this site, feeling that i had so much in common with so many of the those who posted yet not posting, perhaps feeling that if i posted i was commited to the whole depression angle, with all that it entailed.

Ahhh…I remember it well.  Same reason why I waited so long to seek help from a mental health professional.  Lets see…how did the tape play…if I go to a doctor I am admitting to being sick…if I admit to being sick, I admit to being damaged, less than, weak, a failure, unable to manage my own life, and even worse <whispered tones maybe even…crazy. i’v known that i’ve been depressed for years now, but not much has

helped…i’m not one for therapies (had it as a child and i found the experience ridiculous) As a child I found almost everything ridiculous.  Once I became an adult and the time came for me to admit I needed help, it literally saved my life. Therapy is not for everyone but judging from my own as well as the experiences of others as I read them in here, it is well worth consideration and you might want to re-think it a little longer before ruling it out completely. and the thought of a "happy pill" is, in my mind, nothing but a myth.

Actually, it works quite differently.  I can explain it if you want but won’t bore you with medical jargon unless you ask  But let me ask you a question.  If you discovered through blood tests you are diabetic would you consider the injection of insulin everyday to be a "myth"?  We think nothing of going to a doctor, seeking treatment, and taking medication for our physical health, yet balk at the idea of doing the same for our mental health.  There is no more shame in taking a prescribed drug to control the chemical levels in our brain than there is in taking a drug to control the chemcial levels in our body.  Not the answer for everyone but best to let a doctor determine that.  In the meantime, at least consider it. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – i probably would be more functional right now if i never go involved with her. but you all know how it is (or i hope you will someday) when you see someone and just instantly have that inner feeling, that warm glow that propels you to be with this person at any and all costs. well, it all looks good on paper, but nothing is forever…we ended, or more appropriately, i ended it because she wanted it to end. i can’t blame her…i’m not exactly easy to get along with.  i mean, i can hardly deal with my emotional swings, how the hell can someone else?  but the biggest problem was our shared depression…i know she has at the very least a mild form of depression she is hiding from the world (she showed me her true self on occasion) and my in-your-face depression couldn’t have done her defences much good.

Unfortunately, not everyone has the emotional tools to deal with this illness.  There is a lot to be said on this issue should you wish to discuss it further. but times goes on and my loves starts shifting towards anger…but mostly i continue focusing on the shadow that my depression casts on my life, simultaneously uppalled and fascinated by all that it effects.

Anger comes from fear.  What are you afraid of?  Answer that honestly and you have taken the first step to better mental health. what a pointless bit of ramlbing i’ve just engaged on….i guess my main problem is that i haven’t decided if what really makes me feel bad is the feelings i feel right now or whether society right now is designed to make me feel bad because me ideas don’t fit any useful function in the schema. either way it’s adapt or fade out, right?

Wonderful rambling.  I enjoyed it.  As for "what" makes you sad, often environment contributes to the problem, stress, trauma, anxiety, divorce, death, and one can work through it, but if there is also an underlying medical cause, such as severe clinical depression, and the brain chemical levels require adjusting that can only be accomplished through medication and therapy administered by a proper mental health professional. Take some time to reconsider, approaching it from all angles, and rethink it some more before making a final decision.  In the meantime, come here to rant and rave, share your feelings, whatever you need to do to cope.  We’ve been there, we understand, and we care.  You are not alone in this. Rhiannon

Response:

{{{{{Voidy}}}}} Welcome to ASD. A word (probably unwanted, but given anyway) on the "happy pills" they work. ~K

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – …one just seems to follow from the other, doesn’t it? after all…one can’t plan on getting a whole functioning product out of a damaged, malfunctioning machine. what can i say…this is my first post.  long time listener but first time caller…for months now i’ve been looking at this site, feeling that i had so much in common with so many of the those who posted yet not posting, perhaps feeling that if i posted i was commited to the whole depression angle, with all that it entailed.  i’v known that i’ve been depressed for years now, but not much has helped…i’m not one for therapies (had it as a child and i found the experience ridiculous) and the thought of a "happy pill" is, in my mind, nothing but a myth. i probably would be more functional right now if i never go involved with her. but you all know how it is (or i hope you will someday) when you see someone and just instantly have that inner feeling, that warm glow that propels you to be with this person at any and all costs. well, it all looks good on paper, but nothing is forever…we ended, or more appropriately, i ended it because she wanted it to end. i can’t blame her…i’m not exactly easy to get along with.  i mean, i can hardly deal with my emotional swings, how the hell can someone else?  but the biggest problem was our shared depression…i know she has at the very least a mild form of depression she is hiding from the world (she showed me her true self on occasion) and my in-your-face depression couldn’t have done her defences much good. but times goes on and my loves starts shifting towards anger…but mostly i continue focusing on the shadow that my depression casts on my life, simultaneously uppalled and fascinated by all that it effects. what a pointless bit of ramlbing i’ve just engaged on….i guess my main problem is that i haven’t decided if what really makes me feel bad is the feelings i feel right now or whether society right now is designed to make me feel bad because me ideas don’t fit any useful function in the schema. either way it’s adapt or fade out, right? v o i d y -"the broken glass explains it all, i want out i’ve been here once before, seeing what it did to you so many reasons to escape, am i someone? what you accomplished i despise, i can never go back there again"

Response:

…one just seems to follow from the other, doesn’t it? after all…one can’t plan on getting a whole functioning product out of a damaged, malfunctioning machine. what can i say…this is my first post.  long time listener but first time caller…for months now i’ve been looking at this site, feeling that i had so much in common with so many of the those who posted yet not posting, perhaps feeling that if i posted i was commited to the whole depression angle, with all that it entailed.  i’v known that i’ve been depressed for years now, but not much has helped…i’m not one for therapies (had it as a child and i found the experience ridiculous) and the thought of a "happy pill" is, in my mind, nothing but a myth. i probably would be more functional right now if i never go involved with her. but you all know how it is (or i hope you will someday) when you see someone and just instantly have that inner feeling, that warm glow that propels you to be with this person at any and all costs. well, it all looks good on paper, but nothing is forever…we ended, or more appropriately, i ended it because she wanted it to end. i can’t blame her…i’m not exactly easy to get along with.  i mean, i can hardly deal with my emotional swings, how the hell can someone else?  but the biggest problem was our shared depression…i know she has at the very least a mild form of depression she is hiding from the world (she showed me her true self on occasion) and my in-your-face depression couldn’t have done her defences much good. but times goes on and my loves starts shifting towards anger…but mostly i continue focusing on the shadow that my depression casts on my life, simultaneously uppalled and fascinated by all that it effects. what a pointless bit of ramlbing i’ve just engaged on….i guess my main problem is that i haven’t decided if what really makes me feel bad is the feelings i feel right now or whether society right now is designed to make me feel bad because me ideas don’t fit any useful function in the schema.  either way it’s adapt or fade out, right? v o i d y -"the broken glass explains it all, i want out i’ve been here once before, seeing what it did to you so many reasons to escape, am i someone? what you accomplished i despise, i can never go back there again"

Response:

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