Depression Learning

crazy me :)

Question:

<Gently snipped …THIS has a lot to do with why I DON’T do a LOT of things.  I am fighting …impulsivity so much that I have swung into rarely making decisions or …commitments. … …That is about all I have to say, except that I wish all of you better or …even BEST times ahead.  I care about you. Dear Bob, I can only imagine how difficult life must be with such swings in mood and thought. I wish I could do something to ease your suffering. I hope you will find some peace soon. {{{{{Bob}}}}} Jackie ~*~Would you respect my mind more if it bounced gently when I walked~*~ —   Group info and charter at:  http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm

Response:

NERA JEYARAJAH BDD IS SERIOUS TREATING IT IS THE BEST WAY OF CURING IT!

–   Group info and charter at:  http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm

Response:

Hi, Bob, Wishing you peaceful days ahead. It can be a struggle dealing with impulsivity.  I hope a med change will help you through this rough time… smiles, Elise

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hi folks.  I hope I am best taken in moderation, as I don’t seem to be writing often lately. I appreciate the responses to my last post! Life is pretty hellish right now with the wildest, craziest, most frequent, and most sudden mood swings.  Along with the mood swings goes THOUGHT swings.  One minute I may decide I really want something or to do something, the next I may think it is a horrible idea.  I’m not really crazy yet, but if it doesn’t stop I may wind up that way. : ) I make smilies, but it really isn’t much fun.  If a med or a change of this one way or another doesn’t help soon, I will have to have ECT’s.  I spoke to my doc today regarding them. THIS has a lot to do with why I DON’T do a LOT of things.  I am fighting impulsivity so much that I have swung into rarely making decisions or commitments. That is about all I have to say, except that I wish all of you better or even BEST times ahead.  I care about you. my very best, Bob —   Group info and charter at:  http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm

–   Group info and charter at:  http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Bob, your symptoms don’t sound like depression to me but rather like a mix of rapid cycling bipolar and anxiety (but what do I know?). I wonder if you should have ECT. Although a far cry from the hellish procedure it used to be way back in the fifties I believe that it’s still a *last resort*. I can imagine that a mood stabilizer and CBT might be beneficial. Hey Margrove baby, any professional suggestions? Philip Philip, hi!  (I’m in an UP mood at the moment <G).  I agree with what you said about the rapid-cycling, that is exactly what my doc said.  I am diagnosed schizoaffective, and that diagnosis includes a mood disorder, which could be depression, the opposite, bipolar, mixed mania (which I think I have quite a bit of – feeling, as strange as it might seem to some, both great and depressed simultaneously), I have also heard the phrase "agitated mania" in a medical video, which was described more like – well, I describe it as feeling "driven" – racing thoughts, obsessing, anxiety, etc, but very energetic and – basically just feeling jittery to the 10th power I guess. I’m not sure exactly what my doc thinks, but he says I’m bipolar anyway. And I probably just told you definitions of a lot you already know! And I do know that you are quite informed about psychiatry and psychology, so it is with respect for that, in which I tell you that my doc is one who believes that ECT’s will help just about any type of mood problem.  He does not rush or pressure anyone (well, all I know is that he didn’t do that to me), but after a period of not responding to med attempts, he does recommend them I think to many people.  I have had them several times, and they have been WONDERFULLY helpful, almost miraculous.  As a matter of fact, I turned them down many times for depression and anxiety, even though they were horrible at the time.  I did it not so much because I was afraid of the procedure, as I was afraid of waking up and having amnesia (even if briefly).  I had an actual grand mal seizure once, many years ago, and to cut a long story short, when I became aware that something was wrong, that there were medical people around me, and I couldn’t tell them what year it was, things like that, I freaked!!  I had a very bad panic attack.  So you can understand why I would be afraid of the ECT’s.  But the thing that "convinced" me finally was actually the first time I had what I guess I would call a severe "agitated mania" spell.  My doc told me afterward that it was hypomania – if he was right, I’d hate like hell to have real mania!! I know my thoughts and thought processes were just totally screwed up.  When he told me that ECT’s would fix me I jumped at it.  And indeed, after a double-treatment, I was almost immediately 1000% better. I’ve had them from time to time, more for depression than anything, but it has been a couple of years, and (probably irrationally) I like to think I can get by without them.  Again, he offers sometimes, but never pushes in the least.  Usually my Dad has driven me to the hospital, the whole deal takes 3-4 hours, but the actual treatment I think only takes a few minutes. And being knocked out by the anesthesia I’m pretty sure is the only thing that is of any danger.  I did research on the web, and some of the things I found were that a lot of people are definitely against them, but I personally think this is a stigma.  IMHO.  I found quite a bit of talk about doctors and parents deciding to force kids into having them – I have mixed feelings about that, but I would tend to lean to the side that forcing anyone into such a thing is NOT good.  ANYONE should have the right to choose whether they want this type of treatment or not, because definitely it is still a mystery to medicine as to why it does help, and just exactly what is happening with the brain.  Also definitely, it can be a very frightening proposition, especially to a child. But I also know that, for instance, they are often given to pregnant women because they are at least considered safer than the meds for them and the fetus.  My doctor can be quite opinionated, but he has always said that they are safer than meds.  And they have an immediate effect.  Many plusses.  And to reiterate, he says they are good for any mood problem (severe enough to warrant them) and from my experience he is right.  They are even good for severe chronic anxiety, but I *think* only when it is coupled with a mood problem.  Don’t misunderstand (anyone) that I’m saying they are a proper treatment for anyone who has anxiety or PA’s.  I’ve seen people post here with terribly anxiety and/or PA’s, and say that they’ve never experienced depression. Now, as you have figured out, I am flying high at the moment.  I hope no one will be terribly upset by my "pro" stance to ECT’s, because they definitely are not for everyone.  Sometimes they don’t do a thing, and one of my own best friends had a series of them once which was followed immediately by a long, SEVERE depression to the point of suicide attempts.  I think that anyone considering them should have a GREAT amount of faith in the competence of the doctor recommending and administering them. just sign me, Babbling Bob : )

Interesting. Thanks for sharing all this. If ECT helped you before without amnesia it may help you again. Only you can be the judge of that. I wonder what Master Margrove’s opinion is. Philip —   Group info and charter at:  http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm

Response:

Hello, Bob… What a kind post.  Thinking of others even through your own pain. I hope that you will soon begin to find some balance in your thoughts and feelings. Perhaps the change of seasons will be good for you.  I know that I feel better when I am able to get outside in the sun.  Winter is always a more difficult time for me. Take care!  And remember to be as kind to yourself as you would be to others! MikeH

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hi folks.  I hope I am best taken in moderation, as I don’t seem to be writing often lately. I appreciate the responses to my last post! Life is pretty hellish right now with the wildest, craziest, most frequent, and most sudden mood swings.  Along with the mood swings goes THOUGHT swings.  One minute I may decide I really want something or to do something, the next I may think it is a horrible idea.  I’m not really crazy yet, but if it doesn’t stop I may wind up that way. : ) I make smilies, but it really isn’t much fun.  If a med or a change of this one way or another doesn’t help soon, I will have to have ECT’s.  I spoke to my doc today regarding them. THIS has a lot to do with why I DON’T do a LOT of things.  I am fighting impulsivity so much that I have swung into rarely making decisions or commitments. That is about all I have to say, except that I wish all of you better or even BEST times ahead.  I care about you.

.. —   Group info and charter at:  http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm

Response:

Bob, your symptoms don’t sound like depression to me but rather like a mix of rapid cycling bipolar and anxiety (but what do I know?). I wonder if you should have ECT. Although a far cry from the hellish procedure it used to be way back in the fifties I believe that it’s still a *last resort*. I can imagine that a mood stabilizer and CBT might be beneficial. Hey Margrove baby, any professional suggestions? Philip

Philip, hi!  (I’m in an UP mood at the moment <G).  I agree with what you said about the rapid-cycling, that is exactly what my doc said.  I am diagnosed schizoaffective, and that diagnosis includes a mood disorder, which could be depression, the opposite, bipolar, mixed mania (which I think I have quite a bit of – feeling, as strange as it might seem to some, both great and depressed simultaneously), I have also heard the phrase "agitated mania" in a medical video, which was described more like – well, I describe it as feeling "driven" – racing thoughts, obsessing, anxiety, etc, but very energetic and – basically just feeling jittery to the 10th power I guess. I’m not sure exactly what my doc thinks, but he says I’m bipolar anyway. And I probably just told you definitions of a lot you already know! And I do know that you are quite informed about psychiatry and psychology, so it is with respect for that, in which I tell you that my doc is one who believes that ECT’s will help just about any type of mood problem.  He does not rush or pressure anyone (well, all I know is that he didn’t do that to me), but after a period of not responding to med attempts, he does recommend them I think to many people.  I have had them several times, and they have been WONDERFULLY helpful, almost miraculous.  As a matter of fact, I turned them down many times for depression and anxiety, even though they were horrible at the time.  I did it not so much because I was afraid of the procedure, as I was afraid of waking up and having amnesia (even if briefly).  I had an actual grand mal seizure once, many years ago, and to cut a long story short, when I became aware that something was wrong, that there were medical people around me, and I couldn’t tell them what year it was, things like that, I freaked!!  I had a very bad panic attack.  So you can understand why I would be afraid of the ECT’s.  But the thing that "convinced" me finally was actually the first time I had what I guess I would call a severe "agitated mania" spell.  My doc told me afterward that it was hypomania – if he was right, I’d hate like hell to have real mania!! I know my thoughts and thought processes were just totally screwed up.  When he told me that ECT’s would fix me I jumped at it.  And indeed, after a double-treatment, I was almost immediately 1000% better. I’ve had them from time to time, more for depression than anything, but it has been a couple of years, and (probably irrationally) I like to think I can get by without them.  Again, he offers sometimes, but never pushes in the least.  Usually my Dad has driven me to the hospital, the whole deal takes 3-4 hours, but the actual treatment I think only takes a few minutes. And being knocked out by the anesthesia I’m pretty sure is the only thing that is of any danger.  I did research on the web, and some of the things I found were that a lot of people are definitely against them, but I personally think this is a stigma.  IMHO.  I found quite a bit of talk about doctors and parents deciding to force kids into having them – I have mixed feelings about that, but I would tend to lean to the side that forcing anyone into such a thing is NOT good.  ANYONE should have the right to choose whether they want this type of treatment or not, because definitely it is still a mystery to medicine as to why it does help, and just exactly what is happening with the brain.  Also definitely, it can be a very frightening proposition, especially to a child. But I also know that, for instance, they are often given to pregnant women because they are at least considered safer than the meds for them and the fetus.  My doctor can be quite opinionated, but he has always said that they are safer than meds.  And they have an immediate effect.  Many plusses.  And to reiterate, he says they are good for any mood problem (severe enough to warrant them) and from my experience he is right.  They are even good for severe chronic anxiety, but I *think* only when it is coupled with a mood problem.  Don’t misunderstand (anyone) that I’m saying they are a proper treatment for anyone who has anxiety or PA’s.  I’ve seen people post here with terribly anxiety and/or PA’s, and say that they’ve never experienced depression. Now, as you have figured out, I am flying high at the moment.  I hope no one will be terribly upset by my "pro" stance to ECT’s, because they definitely are not for everyone.  Sometimes they don’t do a thing, and one of my own best friends had a series of them once which was followed immediately by a long, SEVERE depression to the point of suicide attempts.  I think that anyone considering them should have a GREAT amount of faith in the competence of the doctor recommending and administering them. just sign me, Babbling Bob : ) —   Group info and charter at:  http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hi folks.  I hope I am best taken in moderation, as I don’t seem to be writing often lately. I appreciate the responses to my last post! Life is pretty hellish right now with the wildest, craziest, most frequent, and most sudden mood swings.  Along with the mood swings goes THOUGHT swings.  One minute I may decide I really want something or to do something, the next I may think it is a horrible idea.  I’m not really crazy yet, but if it doesn’t stop I may wind up that way. : ) I make smilies, but it really isn’t much fun.  If a med or a change of this one way or another doesn’t help soon, I will have to have ECT’s.  I spoke to my doc today regarding them. THIS has a lot to do with why I DON’T do a LOT of things.  I am fighting impulsivity so much that I have swung into rarely making decisions or commitments. That is about all I have to say, except that I wish all of you better or even BEST times ahead.  I care about you. my very best, Bob

Bob, your symptoms don’t sound like depression to me but rather like a mix of rapid cycling bipolar and anxiety (but what do I know?). I wonder if you should have ECT. Although a far cry from the hellish procedure it used to be way back in the fifties I believe that it’s still a *last resort*. I can imagine that a mood stabilizer and CBT might be beneficial. Hey Margrove baby, any professional suggestions? Philip —   Group info and charter at:  http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm

Response:

Hi folks.  I hope I am best taken in moderation, as I don’t seem to be writing often lately. I appreciate the responses to my last post! Life is pretty hellish right now with the wildest, craziest, most frequent, and most sudden mood swings.  Along with the mood swings goes THOUGHT swings.  One minute I may decide I really want something or to do something, the next I may think it is a horrible idea.  I’m not really crazy yet, but if it doesn’t stop I may wind up that way. : ) I make smilies, but it really isn’t much fun.  If a med or a change of this one way or another doesn’t help soon, I will have to have ECT’s.  I spoke to my doc today regarding them. THIS has a lot to do with why I DON’T do a LOT of things.  I am fighting impulsivity so much that I have swung into rarely making decisions or commitments. That is about all I have to say, except that I wish all of you better or even BEST times ahead.  I care about you. my very best, Bob —   Group info and charter at:  http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm

Response:

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