coming out to the group (long, suicide attempt)
Question:
Hello to all in the group.
Welcome to ASD Michel Selig. Sincerely Stewart — The Metaphor Man *and* The Great Defender of the Self (remove the SPAMBLOCK) Please send me an e-mail copy of your posted response.
Response:
welcome to the group. i’m glad your attempt wasn’t successful. jaz
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hello to all in the group. I am here because a few weeks ago I got so depressed (and drunk, which was a first for me because I dont drink) that I tried to kill myself via carbon-monoxide poisoning in my garage. A neighbor found me and called authorities, who promptly hospitalized me against my will. The laws here state that a person can be held against their will if they pose a threat to themselves or others. So, there I was, feeling like a complete idiot, because not only had I tried to kill myself, but I had botched the job e.g. not properly accounted for neighborly intrusion. "Michel is unable to set goals and achieve them." Which is exactly how I felt. I was unable to suppress my anger at being in the Psych ward against my will and let all the staff know of my displeasure. Which only prolonged my stay. I felt uncontrollable rage at times. I went from wanting to kill myself to wanting to kill others. I did not want to accept the fact that it was MY actions that placed me in the environment that I was in. I felt like a caged cat and truly believe that, had I stayed there any longer, I would have gone totally BATSHIT. Finally, after I learned what to say and when to say it, they had to let me out. I recognized that I needed some help and sought to get it. I am now seeing a psychiatrist who has me on mirtaxapine, which is working (yay!!!), and seeing a therapist twice a week, which is also really helping me. I have lurked long enough to know that some here think that meds and therapy are a crock, but for me, they are a welcome addition to my life. I am thankful that I am still alive. For me, a dark veil has been lifted and my depressed mood has departed. The hostility remains to a degree, but I am trying to deal with it. The urge to choke the shit out of some dumbass still lingers, but I am less likely to act on it now. I have a great deal of learning to do in regard to my emotional maturity. I will get there. I wish to thank all of you who have been considerate enough to post thoughts of encouragement to those here in despair. ==== Michel
Response:
Hello I can relate to the person who said she was hospitalized against her will for trying to kill her self .I tryed killing my self by drinking and taking a whole bottle of anti dressants Maria, I hope you feel a little more like staying alive. Please keep posting. Do you want to share more about this experience? — Tara Ballance Montreal, Canada
Ever notice how hard it is to offer help without sounding/feeling like Dr Fell. I only mention this as a lighthearted observation Tara. Brian Before you buy.
Response:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hello to all in the group. I am here because a few weeks ago I got so depressed (and drunk, which was a first for me because I dont drink) that I tried to kill myself via carbon-monoxide poisoning in my garage. A neighbor found me and called authorities, who promptly hospitalized me against my will. The laws here state that a person can be held against their will if they pose a threat to themselves or others. So, there I was, feeling like a complete idiot, because not only had I tried to kill myself, but I had botched the job e.g. not properly accounted for neighborly intrusion. "Michel is unable to set goals and achieve them." Which is exactly how I felt. I was unable to suppress my anger at being in the Psych ward against my will and let all the staff know of my displeasure. Which only prolonged my stay. I felt uncontrollable rage at times. I went from wanting to kill myself to wanting to kill others. I did not want to accept the fact that it was MY actions that placed me in the environment that I was in. I felt like a caged cat and truly believe that, had I stayed there any longer, I would have gone totally BATSHIT. Finally, after I learned what to say and when to say it, they had to let me out. I recognized that I needed some help and sought to get it. I am now seeing a psychiatrist who has me on mirtaxapine, which is working (yay!!!), and seeing a therapist twice a week, which is also really helping me. I have lurked long enough to know that some here think that meds and therapy are a crock, but for me, they are a welcome addition to my life. I am thankful that I am still alive. For me, a dark veil has been lifted and my depressed mood has departed. The hostility remains to a degree, but I am trying to deal with it. The urge to choke the shit out of some dumbass still lingers, but I am less likely to act on it now. I have a great deal of learning to do in regard to my emotional maturity. I will get there. I wish to thank all of you who have been considerate enough to post thoughts of encouragement to those here in despair. ==== Michel
Thanks for posting the story Michel. I don’t know why it helps but it really does. I think it matters that you’re not alone and that I’m not alone and that maybe the rage issues can be explored through sharing our experiences or explaining our triggers (ultimately to ourselves) …and so on in all its complexity. Be well Brian Before you buy.
Response:
Hello I can relate to the person who said she was hospitalized against her will for trying to kill her self .I tryed killing my self by drinking and taking a whole bottle of anti dressants
Maria, I hope you feel a little more like staying alive. Please keep posting. Do you want to share more about this experience? — Tara Ballance Montreal, Canada
Response:
Hello I can relate to the person who said she was hospitalized against her will for trying to kill her self .I tryed killing my self by drinking and taking a whole bottle of anti dressants
Yeah. I tried to kill myself once by swallowing painkillers, 222s. (They’re not available in the US, as far as I know. They’re like a strong aspirin with codeine.) I didn’t really want to die that day. I was just in such emotional agony and I wanted to make the pain stop. I was hospitalized for a week, and I chose to leave at the end of the week because I didn’t think it was helping me to be there. The doctor was *not* pleased but he didn’t prevent me from leaving either. The strange thing about that whole episode was that the doctor told me if I left I would be back in his hospital and his ward within a month. He pissed me off so much that I vowed he would *never* see me back, and he never has. I wrote suicide off as an option and, no matter how much it hurt, I’ve always found other means of dealing with the pain. A friend of mine told me this doctor was the top psychiatrist in Toronto. He is. All these years, and I’m *still* alive. Maybe I should send him a little thank-you note! — Tara Ballance Montreal, Canada
Response:
Hi Michel! The really scary part is knowing that it took such a desperate act for me to realize how depressed I really was. It causes me to wonder how many people like me were/are on the threshold of suicide before getting help. How many suffer in silence? How many in this world do not get treatment for this insidious disease?
Unfortunately, a *lot* of people don’t even realize that depression is what’s "wrong" with them. Get this: I’ve been depressed since my early adolescence. Five years ago, when I was 41, my medical doctor diagnosed me with clinical depression and put me on Paxil. Five years ago I got a name for the condition I’ve lived with for so many years. Five years ago I got a weapon against the physiological causes of this condition. Years of depressive episodes, years of medication, years of therapy, and I never had a *name* for what was making my life so unhappy. I am glad I found this group. While I feel encouraged to know that there are others out there who have been where I have, it is disheartening to realize that the true numbers are probably staggering. If I could rub the genie’s lamp, I would wish for better mental health for all. Thanks again to all the regular posters who really do make a difference.
You can’t let yourself dwell on that part of the statistics. You risk feeling guilty because you are one of the lucky ones. You risk bringing yourself down because there is nothing you can do to help all the unlucky ones. Focus on you. You can help *you*. Focus on groups like this where you are part of a community. You can help yourself and others by sharing in a place like asd. Focus on making yourself strong, strong enough to be capable of speaking out on the issue of depression. You can help change the public perception of depression by educating the people around you. — Tara Ballance Montreal, Canada
Response:
The really scary part is knowing that it took such a desperate act for me to realize how depressed I really was. It causes me to wonder how many people like me were/are on the threshold of suicide before getting help. How many suffer in silence? How many in this world do not get treatment for this insidious disease? These things truly frighten me. There is so much stigma attached to depression and disincentives to getting help that I know people are out there suffering needlessly. I wish this were not so, but unfortunately it is the way of the world for now. I am glad I found this group. While I feel encouraged to know that there are others out there who have been where I have, it is disheartening to realize that the true numbers are probably staggering. If I could rub the genie’s lamp, I would wish for better mental health for all. Thanks again to all the regular posters who really do make a difference. ==== Michel – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I have lurked long enough to know that some here think that meds and therapy are a crock, but for me, they are a welcome addition to my life. no one can argue (successfully) with what works. good that they are working for you. I am thankful that I am still alive. For me, a dark veil has been lifted and my depressed mood has departed. sometimes i think there should be a huge celebration in the streets every time one of us gets to say this. we don’t get enough credit, you know? hooray for Michel! Erik Erik Martin Schneider rhetorician of sorts http://www.concentric.net/~catdoc
Response:
Hello to all in the group
Hi and welcome to the group. I got so depressed (and drunk, which was a first for me because I dont drink) that I tried to kill myself via carbon-monoxide poisoning
Not good. My husband got carbon monoxide poisoning, yucky. A neighbor found me and called authorities, who promptly hospitalized me against my will. The laws here state that a person can be held against their will if they pose a threat to themselves or others.
Yup, they can do that. I felt like a caged cat and truly believe that, had I stayed there any longer, I would have gone totally BATSHIT.
I understand, I’ve been there myself. Finally, after I learned what to say and when to say it, they had to let me out.
Yup, that’s what I did too. I recognized that I needed some help and sought to get it. I am now seeing a psychiatrist
You’re doing good. Welcome and I hope you stick around here in ASDland. Mary Beth
Response:
Michel, hello ‘m glad you posted, you still alive adn I hope things stay better for you Candy you can feel my anger you can feel my pain you can feel my torment driving me insane I can’t fight these feelings they bring only pain you can take away make me whole again
Response:
If you knew how hard and how long I laughed at this and Great Horned Owl’s response, you might say "Wow, he’s on some great meds!!!" Humor works. I laughed until my sides ached. Thanks again. ==== Michel – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Michel, welcome to ASD. I’m happy for you that you survived, and that you are working to recover. Please "make yourself at home", and don’t worry about that "choking urge". If all of us acted on our urges to choke the shit out of somebody, population statistics would drop like a rock. :o)
Response:
Welcome to asd, Michel. — – Jeff ====== – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hello to all in the group. I am here because a few weeks ago I got so depressed (and drunk, which was a first for me because I dont drink) that I tried to kill myself via carbon-monoxide poisoning in my garage. A neighbor found me and called authorities, who promptly hospitalized me against my will. The laws here state that a person can be held against their will if they pose a threat to themselves or others. So, there I was, feeling like a complete idiot, because not only had I tried to kill myself, but I had botched the job e.g. not properly accounted for neighborly intrusion. "Michel is unable to set goals and achieve them." Which is exactly how I felt. I was unable to suppress my anger at being in the Psych ward against my will and let all the staff know of my displeasure. Which only prolonged my stay. I felt uncontrollable rage at times. I went from wanting to kill myself to wanting to kill others. I did not want to accept the fact that it was MY actions that placed me in the environment that I was in. I felt like a caged cat and truly believe that, had I stayed there any longer, I would have gone totally BATSHIT. Finally, after I learned what to say and when to say it, they had to let me out. I recognized that I needed some help and sought to get it. I am now seeing a psychiatrist who has me on mirtaxapine, which is working (yay!!!), and seeing a therapist twice a week, which is also really helping me. I have lurked long enough to know that some here think that meds and therapy are a crock, but for me, they are a welcome addition to my life. I am thankful that I am still alive. For me, a dark veil has been lifted and my depressed mood has departed. The hostility remains to a degree, but I am trying to deal with it. The urge to choke the shit out of some dumbass still lingers, but I am less likely to act on it now. I have a great deal of learning to do in regard to my emotional maturity. I will get there. I wish to thank all of you who have been considerate enough to post thoughts of encouragement to those here in despair. ==== Michel
Before you buy.
Response:
Hello I can relate to the person who said she was hospitalized against her will for trying to kill her self .I tryed killing my self by drinking and taking a whole bottle of anti dressants
Response:
Michel, welcome to ASD. I’m happy for you that you survived, and that you are working to recover. Please "make yourself at home", and don’t worry about that "choking urge". If all of us acted on our urges to choke the shit out of somebody, population statistics would drop like a rock. :o) — _ bear _.-’ ) (_ . ‘ __ __^/` _) .-’_ (_.’ ’–. /_ /`-._/ (__/ email: The bearster_at_aol_dot_com Actually, Bear, "if all of us acted on our urges to choke the shit out of somebody," it would be a SANITATION issue, not a POPULATION issue. Owl, wise & old Normal people frighten me. – from a bumper sticker "But I don’t want to go among mad people," remarked Alice. "Oh, you can’t help that," said the Cat, "we’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad." "How do you know I’m mad?" said Alice. "You must be," replied the Cat, "or you wouldn’t have come here." "Gonna hitch a ride, head for the other side, freedom on my mind, leave it all behind for the last time." – Boston
Response:
I have lurked long enough to know that some here think that meds and therapy are a crock, but for me, they are a welcome addition to my life.
no one can argue (successfully) with what works. good that they are working for you. I am thankful that I am still alive. For me, a dark veil has been lifted and my depressed mood has departed.
sometimes i think there should be a huge celebration in the streets every time one of us gets to say this. we don’t get enough credit, you know? hooray for Michel! Erik Erik Martin Schneider rhetorician of sorts http://www.concentric.net/~catdoc
Response:
Michel, welcome to ASD. I’m happy for you that you survived, and that you are working to recover. Please "make yourself at home", and don’t worry about that "choking urge". If all of us acted on our urges to choke the shit out of somebody, population statistics would drop like a rock. :o) — _ bear _.-’ ) (_ . ‘ __ __^/` _) .-’_ (_.’ ’–. /_ /`-._/ (__/ email: The bearster_at_aol_dot_com
Response:
I’m glad things appear to be working out for you. Everyone has to find the right combination for them. That’s the joy of depression. ;-) You can’t just say "here, take this. You’ll feel better in a couple days." — Edward Musician Search Online http://www.MusicianSearchOnline.com ludlow http://www.geocities.com/sunsetstrip/bistro/8746/ludlow.html
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hello to all in the group. I am here because a few weeks ago I got so depressed (and drunk, which was a first for me because I dont drink) that I tried to kill myself via carbon-monoxide poisoning in my garage. A neighbor found me and called authorities, who promptly hospitalized me against my will. The laws here state that a person can be held against their will if they pose a threat to themselves or others. So, there I was, feeling like a complete idiot, because not only had I tried to kill myself, but I had botched the job e.g. not properly accounted for neighborly intrusion. "Michel is unable to set goals and achieve them." Which is exactly how I felt. I was unable to suppress my anger at being in the Psych ward against my will and let all the staff know of my displeasure. Which only prolonged my stay. I felt uncontrollable rage at times. I went from wanting to kill myself to wanting to kill others. I did not want to accept the fact that it was MY actions that placed me in the environment that I was in. I felt like a caged cat and truly believe that, had I stayed there any longer, I would have gone totally BATSHIT. Finally, after I learned what to say and when to say it, they had to let me out. I recognized that I needed some help and sought to get it. I am now seeing a psychiatrist who has me on mirtaxapine, which is working (yay!!!), and seeing a therapist twice a week, which is also really helping me. I have lurked long enough to know that some here think that meds and therapy are a crock, but for me, they are a welcome addition to my life. I am thankful that I am still alive. For me, a dark veil has been lifted and my depressed mood has departed. The hostility remains to a degree, but I am trying to deal with it. The urge to choke the shit out of some dumbass still lingers, but I am less likely to act on it now. I have a great deal of learning to do in regard to my emotional maturity. I will get there. I wish to thank all of you who have been considerate enough to post thoughts of encouragement to those here in despair. ==== Michel
Response:
Hello to all in the group. I am here because a few weeks ago I got so depressed (and drunk, which was a first for me because I dont drink) that I tried to kill myself via carbon-monoxide poisoning in my garage. A neighbor found me and called authorities, who promptly hospitalized me against my will. The laws here state that a person can be held against their will if they pose a threat to themselves or others. So, there I was, feeling like a complete idiot, because not only had I tried to kill myself, but I had botched the job e.g. not properly accounted for neighborly intrusion. "Michel is unable to set goals and achieve them." Which is exactly how I felt. I was unable to suppress my anger at being in the Psych ward against my will and let all the staff know of my displeasure. Which only prolonged my stay. I felt uncontrollable rage at times. I went from wanting to kill myself to wanting to kill others. I did not want to accept the fact that it was MY actions that placed me in the environment that I was in. I felt like a caged cat and truly believe that, had I stayed there any longer, I would have gone totally BATSHIT. Finally, after I learned what to say and when to say it, they had to let me out. I recognized that I needed some help and sought to get it. I am now seeing a psychiatrist who has me on mirtaxapine, which is working (yay!!!), and seeing a therapist twice a week, which is also really helping me. I have lurked long enough to know that some here think that meds and therapy are a crock, but for me, they are a welcome addition to my life. I am thankful that I am still alive. For me, a dark veil has been lifted and my depressed mood has departed. The hostility remains to a degree, but I am trying to deal with it. The urge to choke the shit out of some dumbass still lingers, but I am less likely to act on it now. I have a great deal of learning to do in regard to my emotional maturity. I will get there. I wish to thank all of you who have been considerate enough to post thoughts of encouragement to those here in despair. ==== Michel
Response:
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