Coldness
Question:
Man….that would be very nice. It’s a Burger King. I have about 30 people right now, which is good for this time of year. Only the weekends are busy. ISIS "misscee" <miss…@my-dejanews.com> wrote in message
news:[email protected]… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> In Nashville there is this great Italian restaurant. You park in the > back and walk around the side of the building and all along the sidewalk > the owners have planted fresh herbs. What kind of fast food restaurant > do you manage? > misscee > "ISIS" wrote: > > I wish I could keep interested in a garden. My attention span still > > seems to be too short. I think it’s one of the hazards of working in fast food > > for all of my adult life.
Response:
I’m not a big fast food fan, but I have to admit the whopper is pretty damn good (although I need to eat 2, with a large fries, to fill me up, which is probably a months worth of fat….. not that I really care 
— JWB remove spamkiller to reply via e-mail "ISIS" <I…@pyramid.net> wrote in message
news:j%LE6.380$[email protected]… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Man….that would be very nice. > It’s a Burger King. I have about 30 people right now, which is good for > this time of year. Only the weekends are busy. > ISIS > "misscee" <miss…@my-dejanews.com> wrote in message > news:[email protected]… > > In Nashville there is this great Italian restaurant. You park in the > > back and walk around the side of the building and all along the sidewalk > > the owners have planted fresh herbs. What kind of fast food restaurant > > do you manage? > > misscee > > "ISIS" wrote: > > > I wish I could keep interested in a garden. My attention span still > > > seems to be too short. I think it’s one of the hazards of working in > fast food > > > for all of my adult life.
Response:
lol If you are ever in a situation where you want an alternative, we do make "Veggie Whoppers". LOL We sell a pretty good amount of them. ISIS "misscee" <miss…@my-dejanews.com> wrote in message
news:[email protected]… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> "ISIS"wrote: > > It’s a Burger King. I have about 30 people right now, which is good for > > this time of year. Only the weekends are busy. > make mine everything heavy pickles please > only since I’ve been slowly eliminating meat from my diet I haven’t gone > to BK in awhile. > 
> misscee
Response:
We have the "three tier menu" now. You can have a value meal (even a double Whopper) and either have the fries and drink medium, large, or KING size. King size is 22 oz. of potato! The drink is a hefty 44 oz.! It seems to be a big hit! ISIS "JWB" <jwbspamkiller3…@excite.com> wrote in message
news:AcME6.6948$[email protected]… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I’m not a big fast food fan, but I have to admit the whopper is pretty damn > good (although I need to eat 2, with a large fries, to fill me up, which is > probably a months worth of fat….. not that I really care > — > JWB > remove spamkiller to reply via e-mail > "ISIS" <I…@pyramid.net> wrote in message > news:j%LE6.380$[email protected]… > > Man….that would be very nice. > > It’s a Burger King. I have about 30 people right now, which is good for > > this time of year. Only the weekends are busy. > > ISIS > > "misscee" <miss…@my-dejanews.com> wrote in message > > news:[email protected]… > > > In Nashville there is this great Italian restaurant. You park in the > > > back and walk around the side of the building and all along the sidewalk > > > the owners have planted fresh herbs. What kind of fast food restaurant > > > do you manage? > > > misscee > > > "ISIS" wrote: > > > > I wish I could keep interested in a garden. My attention span still > > > > seems to be too short. I think it’s one of the hazards of working in > > fast food > > > > for all of my adult life.
Response:
lol I wrote in the cat newsgroup about a pug puppy that wandered up onto my patio and had my calico in a mess! Two little opposites! She was looking around like crazy (she was up high on her perch outside). I saw nothing but heard snorting and looked down….I fell in love. lol I even picked the little guy up (and I’m not a dog person) and took him inside to show my husband. Well, about that time our neighbor was knocking on the door to retrieve his new puppy! He was sooooooooooooo cute!!!!! Maybe one day he’ll get loose again and I’ll get a picture! I wish I could keep interested in a garden. My attention span still seems to be too short. I think it’s one of the hazards of working in fast food for all of my adult life. lol It does have it’s benefits, though. I can multitask into infinity, my patience is very long, and I can handle being pulled from twenty different directions (well, longer than your average bear), and I’ve learned a lot about people from different states. AND, I’ve learned acceptance of a wide variety of people from a lot of different backgrounds. Anyway…. You said, "you are in a good location". What area are you talking about? Hey, if you get the chance when you’re done…I’d love to see a picture of the Japanese garden you spoke of building. ISIS "misscee" <miss…@my-dejanews.com> wrote in message
news:[email protected]… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> ISIS wrote: > > I am all for the garden idea. Not only can it give you reward as it > > grows, it can become a symbol of your freedom and new zest for life. > I have a butterfly garden in my back yard. It’s very tropical – lots of > orange and purple. As soon as the rainy season starts, I am going to > build a Japanese type front yard garden with lots of green, white and > yellow colors. > Gardens are the best, and you are in a good location to plant vegetables > and herbs. I envy you. Here in Fl. it’s not so easy unless we use a lot > of pesticides. > I am planning on painting the house – outside and then inside. That > should keep me busy for awhile. > > Also, I go along with the dog idea….just make it a cat! > I saw the most beautiful cat yesterday when I took my Winnie to the vet. > (She has a rash.) It was a persian and my daughter said, look mom a pug > cat. I have 3 pugs and do pug rescue. It is very expensive and time > consuming. > > They are great to > > watch tv with…and they can lay with you and purrrrrrr you to sleeep! > My pugs are lap dogs. The breed is over 2 thousand years old and they > have been bred for that many years for one purpose – as companion dogs. > They don’t purrrrrrr but they sure do snort and snore a lot. And they’re > very soft and cuddly. > > I also surfed the net a lot. > Yep, I do a lot of that. > > Now I’m rambling, so I’ll close. > That’s ok. Anytime. > misscee
Response:
I am all for the garden idea. Not only can it give you reward as it grows, it can become a symbol of your freedom and new zest for life. :) Plant a different color flower for a different symbol. Hey…now I’m thinking I might start a garden! Also, I go along with the dog idea….just make it a cat! They are great to watch tv with…and they can lay with you and purrrrrrr you to sleeep! I lived alone for about 4 months. Lol That reminds me. I slept on my living room floor on a papason mat, because I left my bed with my ex, until my sister gave me one of her daughter’s day bed mattresses which I put directly on the floor. At least she bought me some nice pretty sheets with her greenbax stamps from Piggly Wiggly. The landlord’s cat (his name was Tiger) was an outside cat; and the landlord told me I could bring him in for visits anytime I wanted. He was a neato cat. He was a Tom, very moody; but still purred constantly. He had an extra digit on each paw, which made him unique. Anyway, being a Tom, he wasn’t always around. So…when I’d come home and find him on my front step, it was like a friend had come to visit. I’d bring him in, give him kitty treats, talk to him, and watch tv with him. During the week my son was with me; but the weekends were very lonely. You are probably more social than I am, though, so you’ll have friends to go out and do stuff with. I did that, too, a little. Mostly they wanted to talk on the phone, which I hate. I went and watched pee wee baseball, drove up in the mountains and just parked and thought. I wrote, and I wrote, and I wrote. I worked, a lot. I also surfed the net a lot. I even read a book halfway through (in case you haven’t caught this yet in my previous threads, I’m not a reader). Now I’m rambling, so I’ll close. ISIS "floridaNB" <floridanew…@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:[email protected]… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> On Sat, 21 Apr 2001 13:09:55 -0400, misscee <miss…@my-dejanews.com> > wrote: > >floridanewbie wrote: > >> Instead I was curious about your remark that when you started "dating" > >> again you would change to something else. > >No, I don’t want to date. The thought scares the hell out of me, > >actually. > Don’t date … just "see people" … do activities that are mutually > interesting … like dinner, movies, plays, amusement parks, play > board games, cards or backgammon (don’t play strip backgammon on the > first meeting though) > >I have a girlfriend at work that keeps asking me to go to some > >bar with her, but that scares me even more. I was never really into the > >bar scene. > Bars are crappy places to meet people … usually they are so noisy > you cannot talk so all you have to go on is looks and we all know how > well that works. Of course if you need a "gut check" to see if you > still are attractive to men, this could jack up your spirits but > remember to go early … later in the evening, after many drinks, some > guys will go after anything that moves. Attracting drunks may not be > quite in your best interests. > The check-out line at your local Wal-mart might turn up more > interesting people than bars … and do not completely discard the > notion of posting an anonymous Personal Ad on line to see what kind of > nibbles you get … just make sure the guys live in your area and can > say something intelligent in e-mail exchanges; starting a long > distance friendship makes no sense at this stage in your life … in > fact, I don’t think much of LDRs period but that’s just me :-) > >Being alone is scary too. Oh well, being married to my ex was > >worse. > You were married a long time … it will take time to adjust to living > alone. At least you have one (or more?) dogs > >But what do single people do?????? There was a thread on asd, but I > >didn’t really get any ideas. Maybe I’ll start another discussion. > >misscee > What do they do? … same stuff as married people but they do it alone > or with friends and buddies. Do activities you enjoy (hiking, > canoeing, jogging, gardening, etc) … you will meet others who share > your interests. If you have been considering a new hobby, perhaps a > local community college offers an intro course … lots of new people > to meet that way. > Hey, if you are a Jimmy Buffett fan, I hear there are parrotthead > clubs all over Florida … I’ve been told they do lots of stuff > together > FloridaNB
Response:
On Sat, 21 Apr 2001 13:09:55 -0400, misscee <miss…@my-dejanews.com> wrote: >floridanewbie wrote: >> Instead I was curious about your remark that when you started "dating" >> again you would change to something else. >No, I don’t want to date. The thought scares the hell out of me, >actually.
Don’t date … just "see people" … do activities that are mutually interesting … like dinner, movies, plays, amusement parks, play board games, cards or backgammon (don’t play strip backgammon on the first meeting though) >I have a girlfriend at work that keeps asking me to go to some >bar with her, but that scares me even more. I was never really into the >bar scene.
Bars are crappy places to meet people … usually they are so noisy you cannot talk so all you have to go on is looks and we all know how well that works. Of course if you need a "gut check" to see if you still are attractive to men, this could jack up your spirits but remember to go early … later in the evening, after many drinks, some guys will go after anything that moves. Attracting drunks may not be quite in your best interests. The check-out line at your local Wal-mart might turn up more interesting people than bars … and do not completely discard the notion of posting an anonymous Personal Ad on line to see what kind of nibbles you get … just make sure the guys live in your area and can say something intelligent in e-mail exchanges; starting a long distance friendship makes no sense at this stage in your life … in fact, I don’t think much of LDRs period but that’s just me :-) >Being alone is scary too. Oh well, being married to my ex was >worse.
You were married a long time … it will take time to adjust to living alone. At least you have one (or more?) dogs >But what do single people do?????? There was a thread on asd, but I >didn’t really get any ideas. Maybe I’ll start another discussion. >misscee
What do they do? … same stuff as married people but they do it alone or with friends and buddies. Do activities you enjoy (hiking, canoeing, jogging, gardening, etc) … you will meet others who share your interests. If you have been considering a new hobby, perhaps a local community college offers an intro course … lots of new people to meet that way. Hey, if you are a Jimmy Buffett fan, I hear there are parrotthead clubs all over Florida … I’ve been told they do lots of stuff together FloridaNB
Response:
On Sat, 21 Apr 2001 00:40:49 -0400, misscee <miss…@my-dejanews.com> wrote: >floridanewbiewrote: >> Out of curiosity … why will you "need" to switch to another >> medication when you start "dating?" >ummmm because one of Prozac’s side effects affects the libido. >misscee
My question still remains … are you taking the medication to alleviate depression or to diminish your libido? If the other stuff works well on the depression, why not switch to it now? What if the new stuff releases a new you that is not what you want to be? FloridaNB
Response:
On Sat, 21 Apr 2001 12:00:18 -0400, misscee <miss…@my-dejanews.com> wrote: >Depression. The week I found out that my ex was back to his old stuff, I >went straight to the family doctor. She offered to put my on >tranquilizers, but I told her no. Then we talked about anti depresseants >and she gave me a sample of Prozac. I felt better immediately. It works >very will with my brain chemistry. >I’ve had some major depressive episodes, one attempted suicide when I >was a teenager and stuff like that. I’ve dealt with it without med’s in >the past, but it’s more like living with a chronic illness. If the med’s >balance out my brain chemistry, it does makes sense to stay on them.
You do know I was not questioning your use of any specific medication, right? If what you are using is balancing your brain chemistry, that’s what counts. >Now why would anyone want to diminish their libido?????? It’s more like >releasing the old me, not the new me. Anyways I’m pretty confused about >where I go from here. It’s day 3. I’m keeping a journal, taking it one >day at a time, putting the past behind me, and looking toward the >future, but I don’t really have any bearings. >misscee
Instead I was curious about your remark that when you started "dating" again you would change to something else. Wouldn’t it be a better option to try the other stuff when your life is not being complicated with "dating" … getting back into the pool with elgible men might add some stresses or complexities that could affect your evaluation of the new medication. You and your doctor know you best … it’s not any of my business; just a general curiosity (and yes, I remember what that did to the cat <sigh>) FloridaNB
Response:
On Thu, 19 Apr 2001 20:45:49 -0400, misscee <miss…@my-dejanews.com> wrote: >I’m on 20mg. If your cashier’s doctor upped her dosage and it didn’t >work, she might want to think about switching to another medication. >I’m going to eventually need to switch when I start "dating". Someone in >my support group recommended Celexa. You might want to tell your cashier >to ask her doctor about it.
Out of curiosity … why will you "need" to switch to another medication when you start "dating?" If it is good while dating, why wouldn’t it be good now? FloridaNB
Response:
Hmmm…is that new? She seems to be doing better now, so I asked her if she had self-adjusted her dosage (I made a mistake. She is actually on 30mg.). She is still on 30 mgs., but is back to normal due to her intense discussion with her mother-in-law concerning her husband’s "little problems". I don’t have a clue what his problems are; but her MIL is a phychiatrist and has apparently helped her tremendously. I was glad to see it. I try to keep the lines open with "my people", maybe it’s like "your students" in a way, so that if there is ever a chance I can help someone I won’t miss it. ISIS "misscee" <miss…@my-dejanews.com> wrote in message
news:[email protected]… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I’m on 20mg. If your cashier’s doctor upped her dosage and it didn’t > work, she might want to think about switching to another medication. > I’m going to eventually need to switch when I start "dating". Someone in > my support group recommended Celexa. You might want to tell your cashier > to ask her doctor about it. > misscee > "ISIS" wrote: > > Many people do need the meds. One of my cashiers is on Prozac. She was > > doing wonderfully until the doctor decided she needed to go up to 20mg. > > (I think the maximum dose is 40!). Then it was like working with a totally > > different person. The normally happy, funny, upbeat person was behaving > > like a limp biscuit or that frog on Bugs Bunny that just won’t dance. I > > told her she needed to go back and check with the doctor on that dosage!
Response:
that’s an excellent approach. That way you are not putting anyone in an uncomfortable position and they are able to help you. My dad takes meds, my sister has been on meds, as well as my niece. Me? I just get moody, pout around, get bored feeling sorry for myself and get back up to the world. I’ve talked here of telling the doctor of my short temper and feelings of rage years ago when I was still with my ex, he medicated me, it slowed me down to a practical stand still, I realized I was just bored with my life (but didn’t want to zombie through it – I think he had me on stuff that was too strong anyway) and my ex (then husband) took the rest of the pills along with his beer (I know – scarey, huh?). I did, however, use the word "depression" as a way to get him "off my back". "The doctor says I’m depressed. I need to stay calm and get lots of rest". That was well into the end of the marriage, though – not even a part of the cause. Many people do need the meds. One of my cashiers is on Prozac. She was doing wonderfully until the doctor decided she needed to go up to 20mg. (I think the maximum dose is 40!). Then it was like working with a totally different person. The normally happy, funny, upbeat person was behaving like a limp biscuit or that frog on Bugs Bunny that just won’t dance. I told her she needed to go back and check with the doctor on that dosage! ISIS "Emma Anne" <m…@earthlink.net> wrote in message
news:1es2682.lkxnrvarodkdN%[email protected]… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> floridaNB <floridanew…@hotmail.com> wrote: > > On Thu, 5 Apr 2001 02:34:20 -0400, "B and B" > > <baboonnliz…@prodigy.net> wrote: > > <snip> > > >I often wonder, though…why on earth did he marry me? I mean, I did warn > > >him that things could get pretty bad. I told him I had had these > > >problems…so, why didn’t he listen? > > <snip> > > One possible reason, speaking from my own experience, is that we, the > > public, have been persuaded that depression is not a shameful thing > > (true) and that it is treatable (again, true). What we are not told, > > at least not until we come face to face with it in another person or > > ourselves, is that it may be a life-long issue that does not just go > > away. > I had a bout of depression. I thought I was handling it well and it was > not affecting my dh or dd’s. So I put off treatment for a long time > (meds are a failure, blah, blah, blah). What I didn’t know was how > depression affects people who are around it. It is like a black hole > for happiness. It drains the energy and joy out of anyone who is around > it very much. I am now on meds, probably for the rest of my life (3rd > major depression). I monitor myself and ask friends and family on a > regular basis to make sure my meds are working and I’m not slipping back > into the big D. I have adjusted my meds and will do it again if > necessary. > This is a lot of soul baring, but if it convinces anyone to get help, or > to keep trying until they find the right meds, it will be my good deed > for the day.
Response:
On Thu, 5 Apr 2001 02:34:20 -0400, "B and B" <baboonnliz…@prodigy.net> wrote:
<snip> >I often wonder, though…why on earth did he marry me? I mean, I did warn >him that things could get pretty bad. I told him I had had these >problems…so, why didn’t he listen?
<snip> One possible reason, speaking from my own experience, is that we, the public, have been persuaded that depression is not a shameful thing (true) and that it is treatable (again, true). What we are not told, at least not until we come face to face with it in another person or ourselves, is that it may be a life-long issue that does not just go away. I vastly underestimated what it meant when another person told me she was being treated for depression. It was only after my heart was left in shreds that I did a LOT of reading about the real nature of the issue and the difficulty in treating a very complex problem. Loving someone and accepting them as they are seems much easier in theory than in practice … both have to work like fiends to make those relationships work and if one bails, it all goes down the tubes. Keep at your doctor ..if what you are on is not working, try something else .. or try another doctor if your physician seems not to care. FloridaNB
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -floridaNB <floridanew…@hotmail.com> wrote: > On Thu, 5 Apr 2001 02:34:20 -0400, "B and B" > <baboonnliz…@prodigy.net> wrote: > <snip> > >I often wonder, though…why on earth did he marry me? I mean, I did warn > >him that things could get pretty bad. I told him I had had these > >problems…so, why didn’t he listen? > <snip> > One possible reason, speaking from my own experience, is that we, the > public, have been persuaded that depression is not a shameful thing > (true) and that it is treatable (again, true). What we are not told, > at least not until we come face to face with it in another person or > ourselves, is that it may be a life-long issue that does not just go > away.
I had a bout of depression. I thought I was handling it well and it was not affecting my dh or dd’s. So I put off treatment for a long time (meds are a failure, blah, blah, blah). What I didn’t know was how depression affects people who are around it. It is like a black hole for happiness. It drains the energy and joy out of anyone who is around it very much. I am now on meds, probably for the rest of my life (3rd major depression). I monitor myself and ask friends and family on a regular basis to make sure my meds are working and I’m not slipping back into the big D. I have adjusted my meds and will do it again if necessary. This is a lot of soul baring, but if it convinces anyone to get help, or to keep trying until they find the right meds, it will be my good deed for the day.
Response:
floridaNB <floridanew…@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:[email protected]… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> On Thu, 5 Apr 2001 02:34:20 -0400, "B and B" > <baboonnliz…@prodigy.net> wrote: > <snip> > >I often wonder, though…why on earth did he marry me? I mean, I did warn > >him that things could get pretty bad. I told him I had had these > >problems…so, why didn’t he listen? > <snip> > One possible reason, speaking from my own experience, is that we, the > public, have been persuaded that depression is not a shameful thing > (true) and that it is treatable (again, true). What we are not told, > at least not until we come face to face with it in another person or > ourselves, is that it may be a life-long issue that does not just go > away.
I am beginning to gather that. I knew long ago that it would be something I would have to deal with, probably forever, definitely for a good number of years. I thought I had communicated to him that it wasn’t exactly a temporary thing, but, apparently, somehow, it just didn’t sink in that way. > I vastly underestimated what it meant when another person told me she > was being treated for depression. It was only after my heart was left > in shreds that I did a LOT of reading about the real nature of the > issue and the difficulty in treating a very complex problem.
Well, hopefully I am not shredding his heart. I am trying not to be so damned difficult, but find that some things just can’t be reasoned away. It sucks. > Loving someone and accepting them as they are seems much easier in > theory than in practice … both have to work like fiends to make > those relationships work and if one bails, it all goes down the tubes.
I know what you mean. There are many days when I wish this would just go away, or that he would decide that he’s had enough. (I know, that sounds terrible, but, at least if he did that now, I would almost be expecting it. If he did it later, when I wasn’t, it would be a lot more painful to deal with). > Keep at your doctor ..if what you are on is not working, try something > else .. or try another doctor if your physician seems not to care.
I am considering switching to another physician. My therapist is great, but the doctor who prescribes my meds is hard to get ahold of, and the appointments are always these really brief "okay you’re still breathing-areyouhavingsuicidalthoughtsno, that’sgreatohyourenotenjoyingsexanymorethesethingshappenokayourtimeisthroug h seeyouinanothertwoweeksforbloodworkbye" Rebecca (throwing a robe over her soul for the rest of the night) – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text –
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Hi, You might try switching to another anti-depressant. I hear wellbutrin doesn’t have the sexual side effects. It could be that you are just not happy with that lifestyle anymore. Cici
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Wish I’d had your info before I lost interest in my wife. BRO <brogil…@kewl.com.au> wrote in message
news:_OUy6.59$[email protected]… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> OK – the only advice I can give you comes from the experience My wife and I > have had…. > My wife has been using the Natural Progesterone cream …
Response:
Is this a common occurance when a wife no longer desires her husband sexually? Why? - Ron ^*^ – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Dan wrote: > Wish I’d had your info before I lost interest in my wife. > BRO <brogil…@kewl.com.au> wrote in message > news:_OUy6.59$[email protected]. > > OK – the only advice I can give you comes from the experience My wife and > I > > have had…. > > My wife has been using the Natural Progesterone cream …
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B and B wrote: > Werebat <ronpoir…@earthlink.net> wrote in message > news:[email protected]. > Well, if it helps you any, I have been told that I have to learn how to > "suppress" the strange and bizarre behaviors to make myself "functional". > Apparently, it doesn’t matter if you can hold down a job, pay your bills, > feed and clothe your kid, keep your place from becoming a dump and ask for > help when you need it, you just aren’t functional when you are shrieking > hysterically and thrashing around the living room floor because you are > bombarded with people that you can’t stand.
Ha! That’s good. FWIW, my wife never shrieked hysterically and thrashed around the living room. Then again I kept her pretty sheltered from people she couldn’t stand (she didn’t need to leave the house so she didn’t). > > Oh, that and an admonishment — "You knew" that she had these problems > > "when you married her". HUH? WHAT?!? > Well, I don’t know what was said or experienced between you and your wife > before you were married. I know that when I married my husband, I was off > meds, and I told him about the problems I have had. Of course, since I > ’seemed normal’ to him then, even, dare I say, a bit exciting, he didn’t > fully grasp what I was talking about. BTW–I have never actually mutilated > myself.
My stbx did the same thing. I knew about her PAST — but assumed that the past would stay there. There had been one hospitalization, three years before we started dating. Some of the stuff she told me was pretty messed up — a mysterious seziure disorder that came and went with no explanation, a diagnosis of lupus that was never followed up on, etc — but at the time we dated the woman was SO "together" that it didn’t seem possible for her to ever lapse back into that. And, to be fair to me, she never hinted that she MIGHT go back into that. In other words, it was never specifically brought up — "You know, I *could* go back to being that way…" In her defense, she probably didn’t think that she would. And who wants to be straight about that stuff anyway? When I say "self-mutilation", I mean cutting of wrists and ankles, to the point of scarring. If you don’t do this, then good. > > Sorry for the cynicism. In my experience depression and antidepressant > > meds were marriage killers. > Who knows? Maybe they are. I know that I feel like I just can’t win this > one. If I stopped the meds, I would start acting as I was…mean, short > fused, mood swings like a blasted pendulum. As I am now, I am merely, well, > lukewarm about pretty much everything.
Believe me, it isn’t that I can’t sympathize with the depressed. I think I WAS depressed, thought not to the degree my wife is, for a long time. Not the same kind of depression, though. Anyway… The thing is, for me it’s like sympathizing with the schizophrenic, or the autistic. I can *imagine* what it must be like, and I can feel bad and not "blame" so much, but… Connecting your heart to the person is another thing again. I couldn’t marry an autistic person, and for much the same reason I couldn’t marry a depressive (I now know). It’s just too much. I can’t handle it. > I often wonder, though…why on earth did he marry me? I mean, I did warn > him that things could get pretty bad. I told him I had had these > problems…so, why didn’t he listen? I know it bothers him, but, damnit, > it isn’t like this just "landed" on us. I asked him and he just stared at > me with his mouth open. I hate when he does that. Grrr.
Maybe he wanted to "save" you. That happens to a lot of people. Or, maybe he genuinely believed you to be a strong person who has "overcome" her problems, for good. There were elements of both of these for me. Best of luck, – Ron ^*^
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- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->From: Empress of the Known Universe >Shoot him? Mmmm, nope. Guess not. Well, I don’t know your history, >obviously, but the first things that occur to me are… >1)how good is your relationship with your subscribing doc (hopefully a >psych M.D.)? Have you been re-evaluated recently? >2)have you been on meds long enough to tell if the side effects will >ease up? have you tried different dosages? >3)have you tried other meds? There are several available, maybe there >is one that will work better for you. >The next thing is, of course, coming to some understanding with your >husband. Counseling? >******** >Empress Of The Known Universe
Empress…good advice. Not about shooting him but the rest was wise. I recommend the counseling part. As wonderful as meds can be…I think that unless you want meds to be a permanent part of your life, that counseling along with them is crucial. Figuring out how to change old patterns and behaviors is usually what helps relationships get better. I am sure that the person taking the meds as well as the person not taking them can use some assistance in relationship skills and personal accountablility. jadelee
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I wish I could help you. My attitudes towards depression are somewhat less than optimistic though. I agree with the one person who recommended marital counseling. Although I never went to counseling with my stbx, I think it might have helped. Then again it would probably have just led to where I’m at now. I remember once her therapist took me aside and gave me a pamphlet, telling me that I was going to have to learn to "deal with" her problems. And THAT was all the support I ever got from the medical industry. Oh, that and an admonishment — "You knew" that she had these problems "when you married her". HUH? WHAT?!? Sorry for the cynicism. In my experience depression and antidepressant meds were marriage killers. – Ron ^*^ – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -B and B wrote: > Okay, for those who have seen me post before, it is no secret that I > wrestle with depression. I have also begun taking meds for it (Serzone, for > anyone interested). > The problem we are having is that the Serzone, while it helps me not to be > quite so mean or weepy, also has caused me to be quite cold. By cold, I > mean that I really don’t seem to feel much more than the occasional twinge > of something. > The sexual side effects are there…I’ve lost interest in > swinging/threesomes. Not that I am now disgusted by them, I just, well, > don’t care. I get, at best, a little more than lukewarm about sex now. Not > that I don’t want to at all, just that I would be just as happy sitting in > front of the tv, or talking on the phone, or taking a bath. This, of > course, irritates my husband. He says it isn’t the same and he misses the > way it was before. Sometimes I do too. > The biggest problem is that I don’t do a lot of the things I used to. I > don’t cook much (nausea makes smelling food a horrible experience), and I > don’t do any of the crazy stuff. Of course, when I was doing these things, > he complained about them. Now that I’m not, he’s complaining even louder. > Grrr. > Oh, wait..I should make my point…. Anyway, I was off my meds for some > time (3 years) and the depression got really bad after I had my son > (pregnancy and ceasarian are not kind to the body). It was his complaints > about my behaviors that convinced me to go back on my meds. Now he is > complaining about how I behave when I am on the meds. So, now what do I do?
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Werebat <ronpoir…@earthlink.net> wrote in message
news:[email protected]… > I wish I could help you. My attitudes towards depression are somewhat > less than optimistic though.
I know. I remember you. Oddly, I have a pretty good memory about the weird stuff. > I agree with the one person who recommended marital counseling. Although > I never went to counseling with my stbx, I think it might have helped. > Then again it would probably have just led to where I’m at now. I > remember once her therapist took me aside and gave me a pamphlet, telling > me that I was going to have to learn to "deal with" her problems. And > THAT was all the support I ever got from the medical industry.
Well, if it helps you any, I have been told that I have to learn how to "suppress" the strange and bizarre behaviors to make myself "functional". Apparently, it doesn’t matter if you can hold down a job, pay your bills, feed and clothe your kid, keep your place from becoming a dump and ask for help when you need it, you just aren’t functional when you are shrieking hysterically and thrashing around the living room floor because you are bombarded with people that you can’t stand. > Oh, that and an admonishment — "You knew" that she had these problems > "when you married her". HUH? WHAT?!?
Well, I don’t know what was said or experienced between you and your wife before you were married. I know that when I married my husband, I was off meds, and I told him about the problems I have had. Of course, since I ’seemed normal’ to him then, even, dare I say, a bit exciting, he didn’t fully grasp what I was talking about. BTW–I have never actually mutilated myself. > Sorry for the cynicism. In my experience depression and antidepressant > meds were marriage killers.
Who knows? Maybe they are. I know that I feel like I just can’t win this one. If I stopped the meds, I would start acting as I was…mean, short fused, mood swings like a blasted pendulum. As I am now, I am merely, well, lukewarm about pretty much everything. I often wonder, though…why on earth did he marry me? I mean, I did warn him that things could get pretty bad. I told him I had had these problems…so, why didn’t he listen? I know it bothers him, but, damnit, it isn’t like this just "landed" on us. I asked him and he just stared at me with his mouth open. I hate when he does that. Grrr.
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OK – the only advice I can give you comes from the experience My wife and I have had. She had been mildly depressed for some time (about 4 Years) with all the loss of interest in sex and intimact that goes with it. After the birth of our first son the Post Natal Depression set in. We heard about "Natural Progesterone" and did some research. Seemed to have lots of good effect. So we found a doctor here in Brisbane Australia who knew about it and had done some considerable research himself and arranged a prescription. My wife has been using the Natural Progesterone cream (10%) twice a day (2/3 of every month) for a couple of years – effect was noticed within 3 weeks of beginning use. guess what. NO MORE DEPRESSION, and no other meds. Libido has increases significantly. (from 8 times in 15 months to twice a week) PMT has virtually dissapeared. I believe that you have access to "Wild YAM Cream" in the US – this has a low (about 2%) concentration of natural progesterone in it. Now the warning:- a lot of medical doctors will claim that this is not real and there is no such thing. (despite the fact that it can alter a period) they refuse to accept it.: It can interfere with the pill (or any other hormone based contraceptive) so you will need to use an alternative contraception method. I’m not saying this is the solution to all depression etc. – just telling my experience. If anyone is interested in more details feel free to email me. Brett "B and B" <baboonnliz…@prodigy.net> wrote in message news:9afodo$vfa$[email protected]… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Okay, for those who have seen me post before, it is no secret that I > wrestle with depression. I have also begun taking meds for it (Serzone, for > anyone interested). > The problem we are having is that the Serzone, while it helps me not to be > quite so mean or weepy, also has caused me to be quite cold. By cold, I > mean that I really don’t seem to feel much more than the occasional twinge > of something. > The sexual side effects are there…I’ve lost interest in > swinging/threesomes. Not that I am now disgusted by them, I just, well, > don’t care. I get, at best, a little more than lukewarm about sex now. Not > that I don’t want to at all, just that I would be just as happy sitting in > front of the tv, or talking on the phone, or taking a bath. This, of > course, irritates my husband. He says it isn’t the same and he misses the > way it was before. Sometimes I do too. > The biggest problem is that I don’t do a lot of the things I used to. I > don’t cook much (nausea makes smelling food a horrible experience), and I > don’t do any of the crazy stuff. Of course, when I was doing these things, > he complained about them. Now that I’m not, he’s complaining even louder. > Grrr. > Oh, wait..I should make my point…. Anyway, I was off my meds for some > time (3 years) and the depression got really bad after I had my son > (pregnancy and ceasarian are not kind to the body). It was his complaints > about my behaviors that convinced me to go back on my meds. Now he is > complaining about how I behave when I am on the meds. So, now what do I do?
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Okay, for those who have seen me post before, it is no secret that I wrestle with depression. I have also begun taking meds for it (Serzone, for anyone interested). The problem we are having is that the Serzone, while it helps me not to be quite so mean or weepy, also has caused me to be quite cold. By cold, I mean that I really don’t seem to feel much more than the occasional twinge of something. The sexual side effects are there…I’ve lost interest in swinging/threesomes. Not that I am now disgusted by them, I just, well, don’t care. I get, at best, a little more than lukewarm about sex now. Not that I don’t want to at all, just that I would be just as happy sitting in front of the tv, or talking on the phone, or taking a bath. This, of course, irritates my husband. He says it isn’t the same and he misses the way it was before. Sometimes I do too. The biggest problem is that I don’t do a lot of the things I used to. I don’t cook much (nausea makes smelling food a horrible experience), and I don’t do any of the crazy stuff. Of course, when I was doing these things, he complained about them. Now that I’m not, he’s complaining even louder. Grrr. Oh, wait..I should make my point…. Anyway, I was off my meds for some time (3 years) and the depression got really bad after I had my son (pregnancy and ceasarian are not kind to the body). It was his complaints about my behaviors that convinced me to go back on my meds. Now he is complaining about how I behave when I am on the meds. So, now what do I do?
Response:
Serzone (Nefazadone) has one of the lowest rates of sexual dysfunction of all of the antidepressants and, because of that, while generally not considered a first line antidepressant, is often used with people objecting to sexual problems caused by other antidepressants so: 1. If you haven’t had a full physical check up recently, you should get one, primarily to rule out other possible causes of your loss of libido. 2. Depression, itself can cause loss of libido; maybe you need a more effective antidepressant. 3. There is now a topical gel containing testosterone (androgel). Used twice a week or so, it has had great success in restoring the libido in women whose libido has been adversely affected. 4. Sometimes supplementing the primary antidepressant with Wellbutrin, (buproprion) another antidepressant, works. 5. Sometimes Ginko Biloba helps. You might want to get a consult from a really well qualified psychopharmacologist. Good luck. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -B and B wrote: > Okay, for those who have seen me post before, it is no secret that I > wrestle with depression. I have also begun taking meds for it (Serzone, for > anyone interested). > The problem we are having is that the Serzone, while it helps me not to be > quite so mean or weepy, also has caused me to be quite cold. By cold, I > mean that I really don’t seem to feel much more than the occasional twinge > of something. > The sexual side effects are there…I’ve lost interest in > swinging/threesomes. Not that I am now disgusted by them, I just, well, > don’t care. I get, at best, a little more than lukewarm about sex now. Not > that I don’t want to at all, just that I would be just as happy sitting in > front of the tv, or talking on the phone, or taking a bath. This, of > course, irritates my husband. He says it isn’t the same and he misses the > way it was before. Sometimes I do too. > The biggest problem is that I don’t do a lot of the things I used to. I > don’t cook much (nausea makes smelling food a horrible experience), and I > don’t do any of the crazy stuff. Of course, when I was doing these things, > he complained about them. Now that I’m not, he’s complaining even louder. > Grrr. > Oh, wait..I should make my point…. Anyway, I was off my meds for some > time (3 years) and the depression got really bad after I had my son > (pregnancy and ceasarian are not kind to the body). It was his complaints > about my behaviors that convinced me to go back on my meds. Now he is > complaining about how I behave when I am on the meds. So, now what do I do?
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The National Foundation for Depressive Illness, Inc. maintains "800" lines which, presently through a recorded message, provide callers with the symptoms of depression and manic depression and inform them of how to receive a packet of additional information from NAFDI. This additional information includes a referral list, by state, of doctors and support groups as well as a bibliography, our brochure and additional relevant articles. The number to call, toll-free, is 1-800-245-4306. If you are familiar with the symptoms of depression and manic depression and prefer not to listen to the recording, you may write to us, The National Foundation for Depressive Illness, Inc. (or NAFDI) at Post Office Box 2257, New York, NY 10116-2257 and request the information. Please enclose a self-addressed envelope of business size or larger with $0.97 of U.S. postage affixed (for U.S. addresses). As we are a not-for-profit organization, if you can afford it, please enclose a contribution of $5 or more. If you can’t afford that, please let us know and we’ll be happy to send you exactly the same material at no charge. You may also visit us at our web page <http:///www.depression.org>. In any case, we wish you good luck!
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