Depression Learning

beleaguered mother talk:SPOILERED

Question:

posted/mailed Hi, this was mailed to me, and I’ll reply even though I haven’t been following it much.  Reply after spoiler.  My therapist has been bringing up my m*th*r lately, and it’s not pretty. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – mail to Primrose and Consider, and some good m*th*rs that I know, cc:asd spoilered because of the sensitivites you have about m*th*rs a rant from Crackers(I changed the name to mine) I f e e l so b a d a b o u t t h i s

I’ll start this with a line from a song sung by "Pearl Jam": *Don’t call me daughter, the bitter debt will remind me* This has hit me at a bad time.  I haven’t been around much lately, been kind of lost in my thoughts.  I started Zoloft for depression, at my therapist’s suggestion, even though I didn’t notice anything particularly down lately in my life.  Guess what?  The Zoloft worked!  I figured out that I’ve been chronically depressed my entire life, and never realized it.  My therapist calls it a "reactive depression" because I was raised(or neglected is the  better term) by a depressed mother.  My therapist says that most of his dissociative clients are that way initially because of their mothers, and their fathers were involved a bit more that the mothers.  In my case, my father was a successful workaholic and a at home psycho.   My therapist also left me with the impression that it’s the  relationship with the mother, that initially puts the child at risk of developing a dissociative disorder.  It’s from this first primary relationship that all the others are built upon.  If it’s not what it should be, the  course of normal and healthy psychological development is not possible.  The lack of a healthy, nuturant, and protective primary care giver (I guess that’s suppose to be the mother) puts the child at risk for abuse from others. Even though it make be abusive and violate the child, it can be endured and even looked forward to when it’s the only kind of attention.  No matter how inappropiate and painful.  Then again, the mother or father could both further abuse in different ways as well.     This has affected me, and unfortunately my children.  The guilt is there, and I’m seeing that my children get help as needed.  I think it was Consider  who once said something like "I may be raising a whole batch of dizzies, but they in turn will be able to raise healthy, normal children". That’s my goal, aspirations anyway. I hope this makes sense, but I’m really confused on this topic.  I can read books about this, attend lectures_but I still don’t  quite comprehend what a mother is suppose to be. My therapist likes this place as a support group.  The only thing he doesn’t like it when someone refers to themselves as "sick".  My therapist is still trying to pass my "disorder" off as a clever, creative coping mechanism.  And I should be thankful I had the ability to do this, instead of going psychotic which would have been my only other alternative with my history. Thanks for letting me vent, I don’t know if this is what you were looking for cherish_but this is what I was able to put out. Confused, yet trying to be hopeful, Crackers       — For more information about this service, send e-mail to:

Response:

posted/mailed

ditto. just wanted to say count us in the "slightly bewildered but trying real hard first generation of attempting to do a better job mother’s club"… nope, it’s not perfect..but i am sure, pretty darn sure, that it’s a whole lot *better*! <g mony (wobbling and hobbling, antidepressants in hand.. through motherhood…) – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hi, this was mailed to me, and I’ll reply even though I haven’t been following it much.  Reply after spoiler.  My therapist has been bringing up my m*th*r lately, and it’s not pretty. mail to Primrose and Consider, and some good m*th*rs that I know, cc:asd spoilered because of the sensitivites you have about m*th*rs a rant from Crackers(I changed the name to mine) I f e e l so b a d a b o u t t h i s I’ll start this with a line from a song sung by "Pearl Jam": *Don’t call me daughter, the bitter debt will remind me* This has hit me at a bad time.  I haven’t been around much lately, been kind of lost in my thoughts.  I started Zoloft for depression, at my therapist’s suggestion, even though I didn’t notice anything particularly down lately in my life.  Guess what?  The Zoloft worked!  I figured out that I’ve been chronically depressed my entire life, and never realized it.  My therapist calls it a "reactive depression" because I was raised(or neglected is the  better term) by a depressed mother.  My therapist says that most of his dissociative clients are that way initially because of their mothers, and their fathers were involved a bit more that the mothers.  In my case, my father was a successful workaholic and a at home psycho. My therapist also left me with the impression that it’s the  relationship with the mother, that initially puts the child at risk of developing a dissociative disorder.  It’s from this first primary relationship that all the others are built upon.  If it’s not what it should be, the  course of normal and healthy psychological development is not possible.  The lack of a healthy, nuturant, and protective primary care giver (I guess that’s suppose to be the mother) puts the child at risk for abuse from others. Even though it make be abusive and violate the child, it can be endured and even looked forward to when it’s the only kind of attention.  No matter how inappropiate and painful.  Then again, the mother or father could both further abuse in different ways as well.     This has affected me, and unfortunately my children.  The guilt is there, and I’m seeing that my children get help as needed.  I think it was Consider  who once said something like "I may be raising a whole batch of dizzies, but they in turn will be able to raise healthy, normal children". That’s my goal, aspirations anyway. I hope this makes sense, but I’m really confused on this topic.  I can read books about this, attend lectures_but I still don’t  quite comprehend what a mother is suppose to be. My therapist likes this place as a support group.  The only thing he doesn’t like it when someone refers to themselves as "sick".  My therapist is still trying to pass my "disorder" off as a clever, creative coping mechanism.  And I should be thankful I had the ability to do this, instead of going psychotic which would have been my only other alternative with my history. Thanks for letting me vent, I don’t know if this is what you were looking for cherish_but this is what I was able to put out. Confused, yet trying to be hopeful, Crackers       — For more information about this service, send e-mail to:

– For more information about this service, send e-mail to:

Response:

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