back and worse than ever – please help me!!!!
Question:
Hi everyone… I’m back… Haven’t posted here in a while and, unfortunately, haven’t had a chance to read this newsgroup in the past few weeks either…. Just getting caught up now..
Welcome back, Julianne! I don’t know if we already know eachother — did you join the group early this year (Jan/Feb) while I was gone? Anyway, glad to meet you! Anyway, my outpatient thing at the hospital is over and surprisingly (to me anyway) I seem to be getting better…. I haven’t purged in a month and haven’t had the urge to purge in a couple of weeks!
YAY!!!!! Keep it up! You can do it! Post lots and lots — it helps. Unfortunately, I’ve gained a lot of weight (at least that’s how I feel) as I’m now eating more "normally" and a lot of my clothes from last summer won’t fit etc. I know I have to be patient because it takes a while for my metabolism to fix itself since I’ve been doing so much harm in the past but it’s really hard…
It’s hard, but you CAN do it. It helps to post about gaining weight, "feeling fat," and clothes not fitting. Remember that those are your SICK clothes. This is a great time to throw them out and get a new wardrobe! Part of me wants to start dieting again and then I think about the hell I’ve been through with this ed and I don’t really want to… I just wish getting better didn’t include this feeling of uncontrolled weight gain 
Stay on track. The ugly feelings will gradually go away, and you’ll feel healthy and start feeling good about yourself. Oh well, I really do want to live a normal, healthy life without having to worry about food again – just have to take this recovery thing one day at a time…
Me too — and the rest of us here, too! If we support each other, we can do it. YOU can do it. HANG IN THERE! Love, Jenny
Response:
Way to go, Jullianne! Hang in there, it will get easier! Susan K. "Time will ease your pain. Life’s about changin’, nothin’ ever stays the same. How can I help you say goodbye? It’s OK to hurt, and it’s OK to cry. So come let me hold you, and I will try… How can I help you say goodbye?" Patty Loveless, How Can I Help You Say Goodbye — For more information about this service, send e-mail to:
Response:
Hi everyone… I’m back… Haven’t posted here in a while and, unfortunately, haven’t had a chance to read this newsgroup in the past few weeks either…. Just getting caught up now… Anyway, my outpatient thing at the hospital is over and surprisingly (to me anyway) I seem to be getting better…. I haven’t purged in a month and haven’t had the urge to purge in a couple of weeks! Unfortunately, I’ve gained a lot of weight (at least that’s how I feel) as I’m now eating more "normally" and a lot of my clothes from last summer won’t fit etc. I know I have to be patient because it takes a while for my metabolism to fix itself since I’ve been doing so much harm in the past but it’s really hard… Part of me wants to start dieting again and then I think about the hell I’ve been through with this ed and I don’t really want to… I just wish getting better didn’t include this feeling of uncontrolled weight gain Oh well, I really do want to live a normal, healthy life without having to worry about food again – just have to take this recovery thing one day at a time… Thanks for listening to me! Take care, Julianne
Response:
Kari– I feel for you in this spot you are in. You are likeable, we like you and your husband loves you a whole heckuva lot. I do hope you take the referral for the meds. Look, if it helps in the present situation, then what the hell.. take it. I was SO reluctant to go on Prozac in 1991. But at that point I realized that if it helped at all, I would be so relieved. And it did! I stayed on it til I felt ready to stop and then life went on as usual. No more depression. Also, does you husband know how scared, hurting, and in pain you are? Does he know what a major struggle you are in? I really would suggest having a long heart to heart talk with him. Chances are, he knows anyway- as good as you may be at hiding it. He loves you. Let him in if you feel safe enough. Please take care, Alexandra – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hello everyone- I have not posted in a while because my computer was screwed up—I wasn’t able to retreive posts for a few days, then when I could, they were either titled *unable to read atricle-author unknown* or they were no longer available. I feel like I have missed so much. I I am really a wreck. My depression and my bulimic episodes have both gotten worse in the last two weeks, MUCH WORSE I saw my therapist Friday and she wants me to see a psychiatrist so I can be put on anti-depressants. I don’t really want to do it, but I don’t want to feel this way anymore. I cry about everything and i feel like I am going crazy. Because of the purging, my throat is constantly sore. I’m not just purging after I binge, either. I’m purging after small meals, too. I really dont like myself and I don’t see how anyone else can like me either. I really want to go purge right now, but my husband is watching me like a hawk. He is so worried about me. I am hurting him more than I am hurting myself and I just can’t stand it. Yesterday I told him to out and get a *normal* wife–one who is not depressed all the time and isn’t big as a house. He just said that I can’t get rid of him that easily. I guess i am going through one of those times when I push him away……but he won’t do it. I’m glad he won’t because I don’t feel I could live without him….and I know I dont want to…….Oh my, i seem to be going off on a tangent, sorry. I am hurting so bad and I am crying. I really hate to cry. I am not in control and I can’t stand feel better. At this point, I’m quite sure I would be in that hole for a long time. Maybe I should go to a psychiatrist, but I’m so afraid of what the meds will do to me. One of the drugs Jane recommended is Luvox. She said it is used to treat depression, OCD, and bulimia and it seems to have very few side effects. Is anyone familiar with this drug??? If so can you post a response or e-mail me, PLEASE????? I am desparate and want to get better. AND I NEED HELP. I can not believe I just did that, but I guess I really do need help. It’s getting hard to see through the tears, so I will gonow. Kari
Response:
Hello everyone- I have not posted in a while because my computer was screwed up—I wasn’t able to retreive posts for a few days, then when I could, they were either titled *unable to read atricle-author unknown* or they were no longer available. I feel like I have missed so much. I I am really a wreck. My depression and my bulimic episodes have both gotten worse in the last two weeks, MUCH WORSE I saw my therapist Friday and she wants me to see a psychiatrist so I can be put on anti-depressants. I don’t really want to do it, but I don’t want to feel this way anymore. I cry about everything and i feel like I am going crazy. Because of the purging, my throat is constantly sore. I’m not just purging after I binge, either. I’m purging after small meals, too. I really dont like myself and I don’t see how anyone else can like me either. I really want to go purge right now, but my husband is watching me like a hawk. He is so worried about me. I am hurting him more than I am hurting myself and I just can’t stand it. Yesterday I told him to out and get a *normal* wife–one who is not depressed all the time and isn’t big as a house. He just said that I can’t get rid of him that easily. I guess i am going through one of those times when I push him away……but he won’t do it. I’m glad he won’t because I don’t feel I could live without him….and I know I dont want to…….Oh my, i seem to be going off on a tangent, sorry. I am hurting so bad and I am crying. I really hate to cry. I am not in control and I can’t stand feel better. At this point, I’m quite sure I would be in that hole for a long time. Maybe I should go to a psychiatrist, but I’m so afraid of what the meds will do to me. One of the drugs Jane recommended is Luvox. She said it is used to treat depression, OCD, and bulimia and it seems to have very few side effects. Is anyone familiar with this drug??? If so can you post a response or e-mail me, PLEASE????? I am desparate and want to get better. AND I NEED HELP. I can not believe I just did that, but I guess I really do need help. It’s getting hard to see through the tears, so I will gonow. Kari
Response:
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