Depression Learning

attn:cichlasoma & Ricardo

Question:

You’ll have to ask your news server to add the group…should only take a few days… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I don’t get asdmm L See my post over in asdm.moderated, subj: "so, what do i do…" sorry, can’t fix the Free Duh part of the transfer to there.  ;-) Sad part is that one is what started this whole mess. luv ya. rmg I think if you’re honest and you really want this to work out, we can do that. Linda

Response:

Since the ‘what do i do when. . .’ thing is fading, i’ll bring this over instead. I’m not bringing the original post over as that wouldn’t be respectful of the poster. Original note had to do with person being told by spouse and kids they seemed to be angry all the time. I’ve known people that told me they thought I was angry just because I was born with eyebrows that furrow while under deep thought. I’ve known people that told me they though I was angry just because I tend to have a sharper ‘tone’ (as they put it) while attempting to convey an idea that was important enough to convey with some strength. What my first ex-wife told me, and I didn’t hear it inside until many years after losing her love from my inability to express anger in a form that is healthy (Anger is a healthy human emotion.  It is Rage, especially the blind variety, that is not healthy) that it is worth stepping back for a moment and laughing about it.  together I did not know or understand what she meant until the first time it dawned on me, while in a blind rage about something that amounted to less than a speck of sand, that I was being incredibly ludicrous in my inability to relate. What I’ve found that Really Helps while ‘in it’ (the anger stage turning to rage) is to step back for a second.  Listen to the blood flowing through my ears, try to hear what the other person is saying, and take a deep breath, blow it out with that anger, and listen some more. Sometimes, more often than I cared to admit for a long long time, the answer is in what the other person is saying.  And nothing else needs to be said from me.  Then we laugh and hug and move on to more fruitful territory. As simplistic and ‘touchy feely as that sounds, it helped me gain contact with my true self, which made it even easier the next time. Humor is our best friend, my friend. Of course there are people that go out of their way to bring you to anger as they have some deep-seated need to blame someone else for their own issues yet unresolved.  Sorting this last bit out is enough to send me through the roof when I sense it in the air, but knowing I can trust my senses in this department is even more valuable than humor at times. Ask them if it would be okay for them to just say something like, "What’s the matter honey (or dad)?" when they see it and see where it goes from there.  Sometimes it is nothing known to the self, other times it is simmering and already known.  Either way, slowing down the wheel to investigate what is going on can really help get out of it, usually. your mileage may vary.  ;-)

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I don’t get asdmm L See my post over in asdm.moderated, subj: "so, what do i do…" sorry, can’t fix the Free Duh part of the transfer to there.  ;-) Sad part is that one is what started this whole mess. luv ya. rmg I think if you’re honest and you really want this to work out, we can do that. Linda

Response:

Please never leave me.. darling, I’ve been untrue. I will always want you for my lover, No matter what you do, I’m *So* in love with YOU! Ooooooooohh, Oooooohh.. Da da da!! Great post, angel.  And so true! Love ya girl, V – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – cichlasoma whined again: don’t you know what depression is? Maybe you don’t have depressions that last for months on end.. Sick of me? Send me a gun then we will both feel better. I hate the thought of leaving my little one behind though.. =A0=A0Whenever she posts whining about this or that Amazing! Out of my entire post you quote this? And imply that I don’t know depression? And that I’d like to help you suicide but try to guilt me about your child? Just where did you get the idea I’d want that? I’ve had depressions that lasted for years on end, in fact most of my 49 years I’ve been depressed. Poor me. Poor you. I understand depression. I also understand you are waaaaay too needy for me to deal with and your buddy mad-ric is an irritating SOB who continues to piss & moan about me calling him  touchy-feely but can’t address me directly. I keep finding snide references to "the group dynamics" here & there too. You two think you’re "only being honest" and we, excuse me, _I_ don’t understand & _I’m_ not honest or wanting to grow. Here’s _my_ honest opinion: Neither of you want honest responses, advice or discussion. Whenever people have shared information such as their personal story in attempt to show you there _IS_ HOPE_, you can only say "yeah but…" You want a few choruses of "Poor, poor, poor me. Poor, poor pitiful me" a’ la Linda Rondstadt. You already got it. You even had my sympathy…for a while. It just appears to me you like being "the victim" of your mother, of the newsgroup, of your pdoc mismanaging your meds and so on. You’ve done quite a bit of laying blame yet I don’t think you feel _ANY_ responsibility for either your own misery or happiness. No one but you can change the way you are living. No one here can fix it. You either learn to deal effectively or when the situation gets too uncomfortable, you change. Now how’s that for touchy-feely? I’m not even angry anymore. I have a feeling you’ve been dazzled by your buddy’s babbling…..he says a lot of words but there’s really not a whole lot of content. anna nailed it perfectly. I’m not so nice about it…I say "Big talk, little fuck." Well, if that’s what you want, fine. Just don’t expect a bunch of bipolars to _NOT_ call you on it. Especially this time of year. Happy Holidays. carol

Before you buy.

Response:

And you are what?

and you feed this fire why??  *smile* bright blessings da wench

Response:

Dat ol’ gas o line rag

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – And you are what? and you feed this fire why??  *smile* bright blessings da wench

Response:

See my post over in asdm.moderated, subj: "so, what do i do…" sorry, can’t fix the Free Duh part of the transfer to there.  ;-) Sad part is that one is what started this whole mess. luv ya. rmg

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I think if you’re honest and you really want this to work out, we can do that. Linda

Response:

I don’t get asdmm L – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – See my post over in asdm.moderated, subj: "so, what do i do…" sorry, can’t fix the Free Duh part of the transfer to there.  ;-) Sad part is that one is what started this whole mess. luv ya. rmg I think if you’re honest and you really want this to work out, we can do that. Linda

Response:

I think if you’re honest and you really want this to work out, we can do that. Linda – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Thanks, This note I can understand. truly. i’m working on it, okay? The weird part for me is I’m always griping to people about having respect for bandwidth optimization and all that crud. Then I get in these manic phase junk and overflow the toilet. (can I get back to winking once in awhile, yet?) take care. ps,  I really have learned a lot from the gang here. especially the wordy part. I just needed one last whine with my cheese.  ;-) rmg

Response:

Weird how this thread goes on and on when it was over days ago. Not one person here responded to any of the answeres to what problems I’m going through during this, except cichlasoma. The bottom feeders chose to use this thread as support for their ego. The supportive ones were not allowed to get to my responses to them by constant onslaught of more crap thrown on it by the bottom feeders. I gave up on it, called my counselor and play phone tag until she and I make contact. I’ll be participating here how I see fit, both in supportive and in need of support roles, and under however many names I choose. Odd how both cichlasoma and I have used different names yet the "you changed your name again." whiners have such depth perception they know who we are anyways.   Hmmmmmmmm Then there’s special case anna with the bullshit protector system so out of whack she can’t even see her own bullshit. Stealing from anna’s words, I say, "Ah jes calls ‘em as ah sees ‘em." It’s a freakin’ process. How about if the people that are down put a little symbol in their subject line saying "I’m down and manics need not apply."  And the people that are up put something like, "I’m way out there now, depressed need not apply."  Rapid cyclers, such as myself, at times, will continue to be left in the cold until we can figure out a symbol for that as well. My original post, the one that got everyone so freakin’ fired up by the thread that spun-out of it was complete in laying out what my problem is/was on the fixing things thing and not one of you chose to respond. You chose to respond to some kind of junk that wasn’t even in there. It went something like, Subj: "What do I do . . .".  Content:  Listing three things about my particular variety of how BP hits me when in hypermanic zone.  Oh well.  I took it over to asdm.moderated and haven’t seen much there either so I guess I just didn’t ask the question in a way that makes sense.  Now, that last bit I Totally Understand as inability to communicate what’s going on inside is quite common for those of us with this affliction in most of the forms we have to deal with. I’d say more, but I’m sick of being called wordy when it just plain takes words to communicate and quite often the quantity of words has already been pared to the nub.  Uh, like, er, I wnder if that’s where so much misconception comes from, not enough words, not enough time. — I think I’ll go get a whole box or five of Ferrero Rocher and come back to talk about that instead of what’s really going on. Come Toto, let’s get back on the Yellow Rubber Line. Thanks to the people that are supportive.  Except for Anna, I refuse to get into the name calling thing.  Anna, you are so offbase.  Though I’d love to see a picture of your nose, because I actually do smell from sweat generated form working my ass off to get myself (and those around me) to a place where we really can just get along.  Read whatever you want into what that might mean, you’ve already taken it so far off course there’s no way back for me and I’m not taking the bait any more to even bother trying.  I do what I do and people smile where I live, not just from me, from inside themselves.  It’s kind of like where it’s okay to just have fun.  When it gets deep and laughing isn’t appropriate, ears open. Dang, I though cussing up a storm in an out of context manner at something that actually was supportive would work. So, the ones that need to box people in were quite effective on me here this past week.  I don’t play that shit, though.  This note is my ticket out of that game. I’ll try ten new names the next month or so. My guess is every single one of them is recognized as being me. no emoticons this trip no loving caring touchie feelie either. except at the core of what this note is about, that is. "Live It Or Live With It."      Firesign Theater      ’I Think We’re All Bozos On This Bus’ Before you buy.

Response:

"Live It Or Live With It."      Firesign Theater      ’I Think We’re All Bozos On This Bus’

you are such an idiot :-}} Before you buy.

– "man, this is crazy….. i hope i didnt brain my damage….." -hs "blessed am i to dwell in this beautiful temple"

Response:

cichlasoma whined again: don’t you know what depression is? Maybe you don’t have depressions that last for months on end.. Sick of me? Send me a gun then we will both feel better. I hate the thought of leaving my little one behind though..

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