Another 1st timer
Question:
I’ve never posted here before, but tonight I just thought I need to vent and my kitty started looking at me funny after I started talking to him.
Believe me, a cat is the last person you want to talk to. They have no sympathy for us lowly humans. I saw a cartoon once, suggesting bad career moves for cats. One of them was psychologist: a cat sitting in a chair with a human on the couch next to him, and the cat is saying "You think I care about your problems?" Seriously, though, I know how you feel. I just graduated in June, and being 30, I feel the pressure of doing something with my life all the more. I also have a lot going for me, but making moves and taking risks just got scarier and scarier, so now I’m back on medication. I don’t want to do anything a lot of the time, and I don’t know why, either. It makes me feel very guilty, which just feeds the depression. It’s a vicious cycle. You say every month you have another episode. If you’re female, have you investigated PMS with your doctor? I know I always seemed to get worse at certain times of the month. I’m on birth control pills now, too. They can help some people. If you’re male, I’m clueless. Perhaps there’s some other trigger every month that sets you off. Hang in there. Stick around with us for a while. Maybe somebody else has ideas that will help you. It’s also a good place just to vent. melhope
Response:
I’ve on drugs (effexor, klonopin, ambien) but every month I hit another episode. It’s like BANG you suck. I cry, smoke cigarretts like there’s not tommorrow and I just don’t want to do anything. WHY? someone help me, give me some, any advice. </PRE</HTML
It is a biochemical problem. Not a problem with your will or character. You must keep going (if that is your ultimate wish) to find the chemicals that best right the wrong in your brain and the people who will love you and help you and not judge you. G.
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Vpaster, Glad you found us and spoke up. I don’t know how much "advice" I have to offer. All I can tell you is, you’re certainly not alone. Depression is an ugly beast. It has little or nothing to do with how much or how little you have in life. Its an equal opportunity beast. Too often we get the notion that "if only….(whatever), then we wouldn’t be depressed." NOT SO!!!!! Outside influences are just thet, influences. They are not causes. The cause of depression appears to be a chemical imbalance. Our brain chemistry doesn’t necessarily care if we had "good" parents, a good job, a good family. Hang on, and keep us posted with how you’re doing. jim "All wisdom is plagiarism; only stupidity is original
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*GREET.INGS* I am programmed to HUG all newcomers- and anyone else who can’t run fast enough, *HeeHee*! *Whirr-KlicK*<<<<
*Whirr-KlicK*<<<< I’ve never posted here before, but tonight I just thought I need to
vent and my kitty started looking at me funny after I started talking to him.< *ME.OW*_^.".^_*PuRR* I wuv Kitties!! I know I shouldn’t feel so shitty, but I do. I have so much in life,
I have great parents, a good job, I look around my apartment and I think, God I am so spoiled.< I wish *I* were so lucky. :[ Yet I would give it all up if I could just fall asleep and never wake
up.< I wish I could do the same. I'm so sick of poverty, and being fat & ugly, etc- I'd rather be dead. I guess you & I are at "opposite ends of the SAME rope". But I tried that once. Unfortunately I ended up in the ER, then ICU
unconscious fo 3 days then in a Psych hosp for 2 weeks. I can't even try and kill myself right.< Been there, domne that- almost- and still planning it. I know how you feel. Why do I feel so shitty when I have so much going for me? I know I
sound like a spoiled brat, but seriously, I hate myself. I hate the fact that I can't appreciate all the things I have. I hate the fact that life is so confusing and I don't know where I am going. I am 22, single, and finishing college in Dec. (I also work full time) But yet, I feel like the only reason I am doing it is to make my family proud. I don't care. I need something to look forward to in life. I need some kind of hope.< There IS no explanation for depression. It can affect ANYone, rich or poor, pretty or plain. -(I'm poor & plain, to put it kindly)- Granted, I have outwardly obvious reasons -(external influences)- to be depressed, -(on top of which I just found out my Mom had inoperable bone cancer)-. I mean, It makes perfect "sense" to BE depressed when your life is fukt-up like mine, but, internal causes are not outwardly obvious to other people, even though they're just as REAL to YOU -(due to chemistry or whatever)-, and that's all the more frustrating. As jealous as I am of you for having a good life -(no bitterness or sarcasm intended)-, believe me, I DO understand your FRUSTRATION. I've on drugs (effexor, klonopin, ambien) but every month I hit
another episode. It's like BANG you suck. I cry, smoke cigarretts< *GAG*CHOKE* sorry. 'Can't help you there. like there's not tommorrow and I just don't want to do anything. WHY?
someone help me, give me some, any advice.< *sigh* That's just IT. There IS no "magic" to make it all go away. Reality SUCKS. -(no sugar-coating here. Just FACT.)- The only comfort I/we can offer is to show you that you are not alone. -(And THAT's a fact. :] ROBOSMILEY)- All we can do is listen to one another- which is a hell of a lot more than most "normal" people are willing to do for us. Just being able to TALK freely is a big help. Hugs are nice, too! KranK on your fave tunes and cuddle up with the Stereo- well, it WERKs for us ROBOTS anyway. Kritters are a great comfort- warm furry lovey-dovies! Kitties, Doggies, Ratties, etc- unconditional LOVE is the best medicine of all. =OHM SWEET OHM= http://www.gyrogearloose.com/robot/ ROBOT’s Silly Sektor of CyberSpace =K R A F T W E R K=K R A F T W E R K=K R A F T W E R K=
Response:
I know I shouldn’t feel so shitty, but I do. I have so much in life, I have great parents, a good job, I look around my apartment and I think, God I am so spoiled. Why do I feel so shitty when I have so much going for me?
It’s kind of like the old song, "Is That All There Is?" Not that you’re able to "snap out of it" but fight the frustrations. Many of humanity’s most creative minds work despite (or, possibly, because of) unipolar and bipolar disorders. I need something to look forward to in life. I need some kind of hope. WHY? someone help me, give me some, any advice.
Think of what you CAN do, what you CAN’T. I always give thanks that I’m not obviously crippled in some way. (About half of the doctors I see catch the neuro-psychiatric syndrome that I’m pretty much fated to live with.)
Response:
I’ve never posted here before, but tonight I just thought I need to vent and my kitty started looking at me funny after I started talking to him. I know I shouldn’t feel so shitty, but I do. I have so much in life, I have great parents, a good job, I look around my apartment and I think, God I am so spoiled. Yet I would give it all up if I could just fall asleep and never wake up. But I tried that once. Unfortunately I ended up in the ER, then ICU unconscious fo 3 days then in a Psych hosp for 2 weeks. I can’t even try and kill myself right. Why do I feel so shitty when I have so much going for me? I know I sound like a spoiled brat, but seriously, I hate myself. I hate the fact that I can’t appreciate all the things I have. I hate the fact that life is so confusing and I don’t know where I am going. I am 22, single, and finishing college in Dec. (I also work full time) But yet, I feel like the only reason I am doing it is to make my family proud. I don’t care. I need something to look forward to in life. I need some kind of hope. I’ve on drugs (effexor, klonopin, ambien) but every month I hit another episode. It’s like BANG you suck. I cry, smoke cigarretts like there’s not tommorrow and I just don’t want to do anything. WHY? someone help me, give me some, any advice.
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