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Question:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – how long have you been around asd? BTW, hi! Hi! About a month. But I’m a fast learner. :-) Annoyingmous Catalog oh, ok. i just thought maybe you had a history here…. so whats up with pics? purrs from, kitty
He’s lying. He came back in December. Trolling the group. Same as now. I can re-post some of his *better* early posts if you want.
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how long have you been around asd? BTW, hi! Hi! About a month. But I’m a fast learner. :-) Annoyingmous Catalog
oh, ok. i just thought maybe you had a history here…. so whats up with pics? purrs from, kitty
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how long have you been around asd? BTW, hi!
Hi! About a month. But I’m a fast learner. :-) Annoyingmous Catalog
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how long have you been around asd? BTW, hi! purrs from, kitty
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The real help needs to come from those outside who are free of the same constraints.
Gee, that sounds wonderful. Someone on the "outside" needs to help us? In my experience with asd (about 5 months worth), I have been up and down with depression. Most of the time I have been relatively stable. It is in these times that I feel able to answer a question or 2 for someone who is "down and hurting," to offer some advice which may or may not be accepted, and (hopefully) help someone else. When the crashes come, and with all of us, they come at one time or another, I go to both RL people and to ASD. RL’ers can offer physical hugs, conversation and advice. This is fine. I benefit from it to a point. But, my RL aquaintences do not have experience with major depression (aside from the counselor, who at least understands it-having not experienced it). Their ability to empathize is limited by the fact that they haven’t *lived* it. It’s like women talking to a bunch of guys about childbirth. Sure, they may have *seen* it on tv, may have *read* about it, may have been *in* the delivery room with their wives when the baby was born. But they haven’t experienced the pain/thrill of it from the woman’s point of view. (this was not a slam on guys/childbirth <g) But people in ASD are different. We have *lived* it. We have *walked the walk.* When we speak of our experiences, people understand. They don’t look at us as loonies, crazies, or as emotional cripples. We can say what is on our minds. An added benefit is that there are so many "regulars" here. Over time we can see how people grow. We can see some recovery. Some of these folks leave us to go on alone. Some stay because they still need some support. Some stay merely to help others along in the struggle. Newbies come and go. Some are genuinely looking for answers and support. Some are here only to complain about something they haven’t taken the time to learn about. tgn — "yeah, yeah. But four wrongs squared, minus two wrongs to the fourth power, divided by this formula, *do* make a right." –Larsen
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Funny how this group is called support.depression. How can it be support when the main contributers consist of the terminally depressed.
Who is better at support than people who have been there? Surely offers of help consist of a desire to help oneself/self satisfaction of a simple craving for human contact that can’t be offered in the real cynical world where actions are scrutinised by thse without any of the same afflictions.
And you’re saying that is a bad thing? That some people may be trying to help themselves while they’re helping others? Well, I guess that all 12-step groups should just fold up, because obviously they don’t work. That some people may get satisfaction out of helping others? Then any sort of charity/volunteer work needs to stop NOW, because, hey, some- one may start feeling good that they actually helped someone. That this newsgroup fills some people’s need for human contact? *I* say it’s a good thing. It seems that you don’t grasp that, for many people here, this IS their only contact with people in a ’social’ setting where they are comfortable, this IS the only place they have where, when they say something or try to help someone, they aren’t immediately made to feel inadequate (except by posts like these.) The real help needs to come from those outside who are free of the same constraints.
‘Real’ help? Sorry, but the help is just as real as any help YOU can think up. The empathy, the understanding, the ‘Been there, done that, this might help’ is much more believable coming from people that HAVE been through it than from people who have had their greatest pain coming from a stubbed toe. I’m sure that this curse is one that waxes and wanes and those offering help will find themselves doubting their own words and in need of help when their delusion of happiness is shattered by some simple but significant act.
Delusion of happiness? Nope, people here CAN be just as happy as anyone else in the world. Sometimes that happiness is a bit more fleeting than other people’s, but, hey, that’s the way it goes. I can’t speak for everyone, but yes, sometimes I do doubt my own words. But you know what? The same people that *I* have spoken them to will turn right around and speak them to me, and it helps. Other people that I haven’t spoken to will tell me new ones, and they help, too. Heck, even if no one has ANY words for me, it helps, because at least I know I’m listened to, that people are nodding their heads and saying ‘Uh huh,’ and, for me, that is what this group *IS*. A large mass of people saying ‘Uh huh, yep, know that feeling. Sucks, doesn’t it?’ I don’t expect anyone, depressed or not, to cure my problems, make my decisions for me, tell me what to do, just a couple of ‘Uh huh’s occasionally to let me know I’m not in this all alone. Tracey " I have enough trouble living up to my own standards. Don’t expect me to live up to yours!" Jim McCarthy "A Matter For Men" — David Gerrold
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Hey ASD – I love you guys, you know that???
ditto
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Hey, How about that,even a troll got the message! Hallaluja and Amen! Those giving advice today, will need that same advice tomorrow. And those who got the advice yesturday will give it today. Hmmmmmm, sounds like support to me. Ok everyone out there in cyberspace that thinks we are all shrinks trying to "cure" each other instead of just sharing experience and lending a the big Zero. If I missed anyone, and you think I’m a shrink and that I will cure you instead of just "be there when you need a friend" please dial 1-800- NO TROLLS, and I will tell you where to send my fee. -Sunny (climbing down off her soapbox, but she needed the exercise anyway)
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- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Funny how this group is called support.depression. How can it be support when the main contributers consist of the terminally depressed. Surely offers of help consist of a desire to help oneself/self satisfaction of a simple craving for human contact that can’t be offered in the real cynical world where actions are scrutinised by thse without any of the same afflictions. The real help needs to come from those outside who are free of the same constraints. I’m sure that this curse is one that waxes and wanes and those offering help will find themselves doubting their own words and in need of help when their delusion of happiness is shattered by some simple but significant act. That’s some fine thinking, there, John, but it is incorrect, and is not born out by fact. Sorry you feel so cynical. I know that isn’t fun.
I know what you mean, John, but i think the problem is that most people who haven’t had this experience dont have a clue what we are going through and think we can just snap out. for example, phoning my mum for support one night of hell was a mistake. she told me to go out and get a life!! overlooking the fact that the reason i had crashed was because i had just been out "getting a life" and found that it didn’t cheer me up at all! — fiona.
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Funny how this group is called support.depression. How can it be support when the main contributers consist of the terminally depressed. Surely offers of help consist of a desire to help oneself/self satisfaction of a simple craving for human contact that can’t be offered in the real cynical world where actions are scrutinised by thse without any of the same afflictions. The real help needs to come from those outside who are free of the same constraints. I’m sure that this curse is one that waxes and wanes and those offering help will find themselves doubting their own words and in need of help when their delusion of happiness is shattered by some simple but significant act.
sparky – i may or may not have your correct email address but i do have the messae ID from your originating news server. and your ISP name – and they can trace the message back to you personally. this message had a distince undertone of sarcasm and cynicism – things that are not welcomed here on a.s.d. – see "99 worst things to say to a depressed person" at http://www.execpc.com/~corbeau/worst.html esp. see the tone of items 6,17, 27, 47, & 48 read it and have your eyes opened – and cut out the trollish posts or I’ll make sure your grandchildren can’t get internet accounts. and if you don’t beleive me – "Gpz-750" Thomas A. Ott http://www.geocities.com/heartland/5294 "All Things Are Possible Except Skiing Through A Revolving Door…" [remove "nospam." from my sig to respond...]
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Funny how this group is called support.depression. How can it be support when the main contributers consist of the terminally depressed.
??? I don’t understand. Surely offers of help consist of a desire to help oneself
Well, I can’t speak for others here (although I try!) but my personal case of depression causes me to feel like I’m worthless, but that doesn’t mean I can’t help other people. In return, some have helped me beyond my imaginings, and I still haven’t "met" any of them in RL… /self satisfaction of a simple craving for human contact that can’t be offered in the real cynical world where actions are scrutinised by thse without any of the same afflictions.
??? You’re really good, you’ve managed to confuse me *twice* in the same post… I think that’s a record! The real help needs to come from those outside who are free of the same constraints.
If I understand you correctly, I think you are wrong. No one who hasn’t been / isn’t depressed can *truly* understand what we have to go through… There are professionals that study, and can pass on a lot of knowledge unavailable to the rest of us, but to *truly* understand and offer support, you have to have been there. I’m sure that this curse is one that waxes and wanes and those offering help will find themselves doubting their own words and in need of help when their delusion of happiness is shattered by some simple but significant act.
<shrug Sure, we all need help from time to time. I was badly in need of help when I first came here. People helped me. I now help people. If / when I swing back to needing help, people will be here to help me when I need it… Hey ASD – I love you guys, you know that??? — For more information about this service, send e-mail to:
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Funny how this group is called support.depression. How can it be support when the main contributers consist of the terminally depressed. Surely offers of help consist of a desire to help oneself/self satisfaction of a simple craving for human contact that can’t be offered in the real cynical world where actions are scrutinised by thse without any of the same afflictions. The real help needs to come from those outside who are free of the same constraints. I’m sure that this curse is one that waxes and wanes and those offering help will find themselves doubting their own words and in need of help when their delusion of happiness is shattered by some simple but significant act.
That’s some fine thinking, there, John, but it is incorrect, and is not born out by fact. Sorry you feel so cynical. I know that isn’t fun. Cristi http://www.serv.net/~sparrow/
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Funny how this group is called support.depression. How can it be support when the main contributers consist of the terminally depressed. Surely offers of help consist of a desire to help oneself/self satisfaction of a simple craving for human contact that can’t be offered in the real cynical world where actions are scrutinised by thse without any of the same afflictions. The real help needs to come from those outside who are free of the same constraints. I’m sure that this curse is one that waxes and wanes and those offering help will find themselves doubting their own words and in need of help when their delusion of happiness is shattered by some simple but significant act.
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