Depression Learning

and to the man in my life

Question:

how long has he been around for?  does he understand depression?   If you can it might be better to ask for his help instead of asking him to leave I’ve known him for almost three years, we’ve been seing each other for five months.  He would understand, we both work in the mental health field so he knows what’s up.  But the fact is that I care about him enough that I don’t want to drag him through this.  I don’t want to go psychotic on h im.  I think it would be easier for him to leave. jana

jana, here’s my story for what it’s worth: my husband, Paul, and i were friends in college (and after) for four years before we started dating.  he knew from the start, from even before we were friends, that i suffered from depression.  before we were friends he found out through the campus grapevine that i had attempted suicide october of our sophomore year.  we became friends in november.  he saw me through an incredibly dark suicidal night about a year later–holding my hand, listening to me rant on and on, letting me cry on his shoulder, being a good good friend. despite knowing all this, despite my having "gone psycho" on him as a friend, despite having seen me at my absolute worst, he fell in love with me and married me and had two kids with me. do i still sometimes think he’d be better off without me when i’m in the depths of the pit?  hell yeah.  that thought may never go away as it is one of the most prominant voices of my depressive episodes. but he chose me.  and the only thing that pisses him off is if i push him away or shut him out. jana, let him make the choice.   thinking of you, mair

Response:

well then there is your answer, tell him the truth it sounds to me like he is pretty OK, if he has seen you crash before and stayed (that’s really when you find out who your friends are) — www.matheasy.com

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Funny, he’s said that to me before.  I tried to get him to leave last time I crashed and those were his exact words, "why don’t you let me decide for myself?" jana I understand that you don’t want him to see you crash, I get like that with my friends when I am really depressed So why don’t you tell him the truth (that you don’t want to drag him through this) and let him decide for himself? how long has he been around for?  does he understand depression?   If you can it might be better to ask for his help instead of asking him to leave I’ve known him for almost three years, we’ve been seing each other for five months.  He would understand, we both work in the mental health field so he knows what’s up.  But the fact is that I care about him enough that I don’t want to drag him through this.  I don’t want to go psychotic on h im.  I think it would be easier for him to leave. jana

Response:

Funny, he’s said that to me before.  I tried to get him to leave last time I crashed and those were his exact words, "why don’t you let me decide for myself?" jana – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I understand that you don’t want him to see you crash, I get like that with my friends when I am really depressed So why don’t you tell him the truth (that you don’t want to drag him through this) and let him decide for himself? how long has he been around for?  does he understand depression?   If you can it might be better to ask for his help instead of asking him to leave I’ve known him for almost three years, we’ve been seing each other for five months.  He would understand, we both work in the mental health field so he knows what’s up.  But the fact is that I care about him enough that I don’t want to drag him through this.  I don’t want to go psychotic on h im.  I think it would be easier for him to leave. jana

Response:

I understand that you don’t want him to see you crash, I get like that with my friends when I am really depressed So why don’t you tell him the truth (that you don’t want to drag him through this) and let him decide for himself? – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – how long has he been around for?  does he understand depression?   If you can it might be better to ask for his help instead of asking him to leave I’ve known him for almost three years, we’ve been seing each other for five months.  He would understand, we both work in the mental health field so he knows what’s up.  But the fact is that I care about him enough that I don’t want to drag him through this.  I don’t want to go psychotic on h im.  I think it would be easier for him to leave. jana

Response:

Because I haven’t been seeing him for years–only five months. jana – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Let’s see if I’ve got this right: You have not been told for many years that you are loved. There is a man in your life You want him to go away because you don’t want him to see you crash. My dumb question:  if he has not told you for years that he loves you, then why aren’t you eager to get rid of him?

Response:

Let’s see if I’ve got this right: You have not been told for many years that you are loved. There is a man in your life You want him to go away because you don’t want him to see you crash. My dumb question:  if he has not told you for years that he loves you, then why aren’t you eager to get rid of him? — _____ Perhaps you regard this thinking about myself as a waste of time-but how can I be a logician before I’m a human being!  Far the most important thing is to settle accounts with myself! — Ludwig Wittgenstein, in a letter    to Bertrand Russell

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I think you better go.  I’m crasing hard.  I don’t want to do it in front of you.  I don’t want you to be involved.  I don’t want you to witness it.  Now how to tell you this. jana

Response:

how long has he been around for?  does he understand depression?   If you can it might be better to ask for his help instead of asking him to leave

I’ve known him for almost three years, we’ve been seing each other for five months.  He would understand, we both work in the mental health field so he knows what’s up.  But the fact is that I care about him enough that I don’t want to drag him through this.  I don’t want to go psychotic on h im.  I think it would be easier for him to leave. jana

Response:

how long has he been around for?  does he understand depression?   If you can it might be better to ask for his help instead of asking him to leave — www.matheasy.com

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I think you better go.  I’m crasing hard.  I don’t want to do it in front of you.  I don’t want you to be involved.  I don’t want you to witness it.  Now how to tell you this. jana

Response:

I think you better go.  I’m crasing hard.  I don’t want to do it in front of you.  I don’t want you to be involved.  I don’t want you to witness it.  Now how to tell you this. jana

Response:

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