Depression Learning

Am I expecting too much from being thin?

Question:

I don’t know, part of my problem with losing weight is the often crusing depression that has haunted me throughout most my life (the meds have helps, but it still gets through somtimes).  It’s hard to diet whne you’re depressed and feel that the prospect of living a long life isn’t something that’d appeal (or when you having trough seeing past tomorrow, much less years down the road.)

Depression is sometimes self-inflicted. Sometimes it is the result of wanting to be ‘normal’ or even beyond. It seems as if you ought to think which of these applies to you. Self-worth and self-image are dependent on _expectation_. But still, I want to be thinner, but I wonder if my motices are right, or if my expectations are realistic.  I can’t help but think my weight is the main reason I haven’t among other things, had any serious relationships (well, hell, any relationships) in the 27 plus years I’ve been on this planet.  I get the feeling that most single women dismiss me right off the start as someone they’d like to get to know (even as just a friend) before I even open my mouth because of my weight.

Believe it or not, many people are driven to be superficial, but not every single person is. If someone judges people by the exterior, then it’s clear who really has the problem. In fact, it’s these people who are led to depression later in life. They see themselves age as well as their loved ones. Looks are hard to rely on. I concede, that’s probably more a "how I perceive myself"/self-confidence thing that actual reality, but still, the idea is there. Is it so wrong to want to be handsome?  To wonder what it’d be like to have girls blush a bit when you smile and say "Hi" to them rather than get nervous and politely excuse themselves.

Once you get there, you probably will realise that it is one of the less important aspects of life. If you look for happiness, work on your self-image first. (sigh) Thanks for listening… .

I hope my words are helpful at all, Roy — Roy Schestowitz http://schestowitz.com

Response:

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I don’t know, part of my problem with losing weight is the often crusing depression that has haunted me throughout most my life (the meds have helps, but it still gets through somtimes).  It’s hard to diet whne you’re depressed and feel that the prospect of living a long life isn’t something that’d appeal (or when you having trough seeing past tomorrow, much less years down the road.) But still, I want to be thinner, but I wonder if my motices are right, or if my expectations are realistic.  I can’t help but think my weight is the main reason I haven’t among other things, had any serious relationships (well, hell, any relationships) in the 27 plus years I’ve been on this planet.  I get the feeling that most single women dismiss me right off the start as someone they’d like to get to know (even as just a friend) before I even open my mouth because of my weight. I concede, that’s probably more a "how I perceive myself"/self-confidence thing that actual reality, but still, the idea is there. Is it so wrong to want to be handsome?  To wonder what it’d be like to have girls blush a bit when you smile and say "Hi" to them rather than get nervous and politely excuse themselves. (sigh) Thanks for listening… .

Carry on my wayward son There’ll be peace when you are done Lay your weary head to rest Don’t you cry no more. –Kerry Livgren (Kansas) Sorry; I had to do it It sounds like your goals are to have more confidence–especially with women–and to be in a serious relationship. Will losing weight achieve these goals for you? No. May I be so bold as to recommend the book Your Perfect Right by Alberti and Emmons? But losing weight is a worthy ambition. Clinical depression or not, in practice dieting is hard. Paradoxically, in principle it is rather simple: eat less and exercise. Perhaps your overeating is tied to your depression. Perhaps regular exercise will reduce the severity of your depression. You have found a good place to explore these and other ideas for weight loss and you will find many supportive people here. BTW, you’re already wondering what it would be like to have woman blush over you; I look forward to reading of your actual experience. — Matthew 185/179/160

Response:

I don’t know, part of my problem with losing weight is the often crusing depression that has haunted me throughout most my life (the meds have helps, but it still gets through somtimes).  It’s hard to diet whne you’re depressed and feel that the prospect of living a long life isn’t something that’d appeal (or when you having trough seeing past tomorrow, much less years down the road.) But still, I want to be thinner, but I wonder if my motices are right, or if my expectations are realistic.  I can’t help but think my weight is the main reason I haven’t among other things, had any serious relationships (well, hell, any relationships) in the 27 plus years I’ve been on this planet.  I get the feeling that most single women dismiss me right off the start as someone they’d like to get to know (even as just a friend) before I even open my mouth because of my weight. I concede, that’s probably more a "how I perceive myself"/self-confidence thing that actual reality, but still, the idea is there.   Is it so wrong to want to be handsome?  To wonder what it’d be like to have girls blush a bit when you smile and say "Hi" to them rather than get nervous and politely excuse themselves. (sigh) Thanks for listening… .

Response:

Is it so wrong to want to be handsome?<<

Of course not. I get the feeling that most single women

dismiss me right off the start as someone they’d like to get to know (even as just a friend) before I even open my mouth because of my weight.<< Well, we can’t see you, nor have you said much you weigh and how tall you are. But still, I want to be thinner, but I wonder if my motices are

right, or if my expectations are realistic.<< Whatever motivates you is "right." I can’t say if your expectations are realistic, because, again, I don’t know what you look like, and I don’t know if weight loss will make you handsome. I don’t know, part of my problem with losing weight is the often

crusing depression that has haunted me throughout most my life (the meds have helps, but it still gets through somtimes).  It’s hard to diet whne you’re depressed and feel that the prospect of living a long life isn’t something that’d appeal (or when you having trough seeing past tomorrow, much less years down the road.) << I suffered crushing depression, with suicidal ideation, a few years ago. If you feel this way, you need to get professional help and get it quickly. You won’t be able to maintain a healthy lifestyle feeling as badly as you describe. But your depression be treated. And, if you are able to exercise, give it a shot. Exercise can help elevate your mood and improve your health and quality of life. Good luck, and keep posting. I’d like to learn of your progress. As always, YMMV. Kasey 365/215/???

Response:

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I don’t know, part of my problem with losing weight is the often crusing depression that has haunted me throughout most my life (the meds have helps, but it still gets through somtimes).  It’s hard to diet whne you’re depressed and feel that the prospect of living a long life isn’t something that’d appeal (or when you having trough seeing past tomorrow, much less years down the road.) But still, I want to be thinner, but I wonder if my motices are right, or if my expectations are realistic.  I can’t help but think my weight is the main reason I haven’t among other things, had any serious relationships (well, hell, any relationships) in the 27 plus years I’ve been on this planet.  I get the feeling that most single women dismiss me right off the start as someone they’d like to get to know (even as just a friend) before I even open my mouth because of my weight. I concede, that’s probably more a "how I perceive myself"/self-confidence thing that actual reality, but still, the idea is there. Is it so wrong to want to be handsome?  To wonder what it’d be like to have girls blush a bit when you smile and say "Hi" to them rather than get nervous and politely excuse themselves. (sigh) Thanks for listening… .

Being thinner will improve your health and maybe your looks.  It might make you more attractive to women, no guarantees.  Successful dieting may even improve your confidence and self-esteem. However it won’t solve all of your problems and make you a happy person.  The most of the issues you have now will still exist if you are thinner. I was ecstatic when I got down to a normal weight but eventually I had to come to grips with the fact that the problems in my life didn’t magically go away.  I had better health with respect to my BP but then had other health issues that came to light and had to be dealt with.  I was a generally happy person with a positive outlook to start with and still am.  I traded some of my fat problems for thin ones including a tim where my husband was a bit insecure about the additional attention I was receiving from the male population. You have already received some great advice about dealing with your depression.  Exercise really does help! Jenn

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It’s tough to feel unloved.  Most of us go through that at some point in our lives, and in fact have our ups and downs. Dreams of a perfect future come to all our minds, but we get impatient when they don’t come true as soon as we would like. I can’t promise you a blazing future, but I will say that if you are true to yourself, what happens next is up to you.  The only person who will understand you will be someone like you.  Don’t settle for less than that. She won’t be any more perfect than you are. She will be hard to find.  I’m still looking for her.

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to choke out these words: Carry on my wayward son There’ll be peace when you are done Lay your weary head to rest Don’t you cry no more. –Kerry Livgren (Kansas)

if you hadn’t done it, i would have. everyone gets depressed occasionally.  yes, the meds help.  trust me, i know: i was on Prozac for about a year, Effexor for a couple of years, and Wellbutrin oh, four years or so.  i ditched the meds several months ago – i just didn’t want to be on medication anymore.  I DO NOT ADVOCATE THIS FOR EVERYONE; IT WAS MY OWN PERSONAL DECISION TO STOP TAKING MEDS.  I DIDN’T EVEN CONSULT MY DOCTOR WHEN I QUIT TAKING THEM. meds won’t take away all the depression all the time.  you wouldn’t want to be happy all the time anyway – it’s just not normal.  i sincerely hope that you find what you’re looking for, and that you find a way to be healthy and happy in your own skin. david

Response:

Damn!  For the record, I’m not mentally handicapped or anything, I just forgot to proofread that before sending it..  I just re-read can’t believe how bad I sounded… (shudders)

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – It’s tough to feel unloved.  Most of us go through that at some point in our lives, and in fact have our ups and downs. Dreams of a perfect future come to all our minds, but we get impatient when they don’t come true as soon as we would like. I can’t promise you a blazing future, but I will say that if you are true to yourself, what happens next is up to you.  The only person who will understand you will be someone like you.  Don’t settle for less than that. She won’t be any more perfect than you are. She will be hard to find.  I’m still looking for her.

Wise words. Please remember, depression doesn’t just happen in heavy people, in happens in all types of people in all walks of life. Some think that once they lose weight, everything will be wonderful, women will fall all over them and life will never have any more problems. This simply just doesn’t happen. It certainly is better to be healthy than not, but you should try to make your life as happy as possible no matter what weight you are. And remember, that if it is a person of substance, of moral quality, they will see the *true* you inside, not just the outer shell. Though it may be harder to find when overweight, it is what you show as a person. And if you are suffering from depression, it probably is not the right time for a relationship. Work on your self esteem and get used to being alone with yourself. Too many people run around, desperately trying to find someone without knowing who they really are. I would certainly much rather be alone than be with a jerk. I don’t know if this helps, but these thoughts have helped me through rough times. Martha

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Damn!  For the record, I’m not mentally handicapped or anything, I just forgot to proofread that before sending it..  I just re-read can’t believe how bad I sounded… (shudders)

Don’t feel bad. You came across just fine. — Meghan & the Zoo Crew   Equine and Pet Photography http://www.zoocrewphoto.com

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– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – to choke out these words: Carry on my wayward son There’ll be peace when you are done Lay your weary head to rest Don’t you cry no more. –Kerry Livgren (Kansas) if you hadn’t done it, i would have. everyone gets depressed occasionally.  yes, the meds help.  trust me, i know: i was on Prozac for about a year, Effexor for a couple of years, and Wellbutrin oh, four years or so.  i ditched the meds several months ago – i just didn’t want to be on medication anymore.  

I was on Lithium for 16 years ( and ASD for nine). I gained two pounds a week on lithium until I reached 219. In January of 200, after losing 86 pounds, I did what you did, got off meds in general. The main effect has been outbreaks of affected and confrontational posts from time to time, but happily only tiny (and what could be considered normal) blips of depression. Actually you can call then "disappointments" like having differences with someone or suffering some kind of minor frustration like gaining five pounds. — Diva ***** The Best Man For The Job Is A Woman

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I get the feeling that most single women dismiss me right off the start as someone they’d like to get to know (even as just a friend) before I even open my mouth because of my weight.<<

Those are people you don’t want as friends anyway. I work in a grocery store, and I have several regular customers who I consider to be friends. One is a guy who comes in 4 nights a week. He always calls even though we don’t forget his special order anymore. We chat on the phone and then again when he comes in. He is morbidly obese, I would guess at least 300lbs, probably more. I am 209, and he is a lot larger than me. But he is a really nice guy, and I genuinely care about him. He doesn’t have internet access, so I have looked up information for him. Both health issues and other stuff. We also talk about weight issues, and I have gently sugested the E word (exercise). I have also told him that if he wants to go walking, I’ll be happy to walk with him. If he wants to get a bike, I’ll rollerblade with him. I do worry about his health. I would hate to see him get ill or disabled. But I think he is a great guy and certainly worth my time. He’s one of the few people at work who I gave a Christmas gift to. — Meghan & the Zoo Crew   Equine and Pet Photography http://www.zoocrewphoto.com

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coughed and sputtered, and managed to choke out these words: I don’t know what you look like, and I don’t know if weight loss will make you handsome.

?? or perhaps his losing weight would make him MORE handsome.  after all, you don’t know what he looks like. just sayin’. david, in a mood  :| — "Mr. Lancaster" as you call him is soooo full of donkey doo that it isn’t funny.  Seeking his advice is akin to saying "lie to me". -Walter, AMOE, 01/26/2005

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Is it so wrong to want to be handsome?<< Well, we can’t see you, nor have you said much you weigh and how tall you are.

Well, I’m not actually 100% sure how much I weigh cause the scale at the doctor’s office literally does not go up that high (how embarrassing is that?)  I’m guessing it’s a bit over 400 (scale goes up somewhere past 350.   I guess I can carry it somewhat well due to my height (being over 6 foot 6), but still… Anyway, that’s my stats.  

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– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Well, I’m not actually 100% sure how much I weigh cause the scale at the doctor’s office literally does not go up that high (how embarrassing is that?)  I’m guessing it’s a bit over 400 (scale goes up somewhere past 350. I guess I can carry it somewhat well due to my height (being over 6 foot 6), but still… << According to this body mass index calculator http://nhlbisupport.com/bmi/bmicalc.htm you BMI is about 46.2. That makes you morbidly obese (it’s a medical term; please don’t be offended by it). When I started this way of life in October 2003, my BMI was 55.5. (I’m twice your age and female.) That made me supermorbidly obese. So I was much "heavier" or "fatter" than you. I didn’t know how much I weighed, either, until I went to a bariatric surgeon’s office and he had a scale that went high enough. I did not have gastric bypass surgery. I’ve lost weight through diet and exercise. My point (and I do have one) is that I have been where you are now. Being morbidly and supermorbidly obese  in this society is such a literal and figurative burden that it’s easy to think that losing weight will solve all of one’s problems. Weight loss might solve some of your problems, and give you the energy to better deal with other problems, but life will still be, well, life. In the 16 months since I started this WOL, my favorite cat died after a long and expensive illness; I developed an injury that despite surgery left me with a permanent partial disability; my elderly mother has gone nearly blind; and my house was burglarized, resulting in a $13,000 loss, only two-thirds of which was reimbursed by insurance. Funny how losing weight didn’t prevent those things from happening. On the plus side, as others have pointed out, losing weight will improve your health and quality of life. And when you feel good, you look good. People have told me over the last few months that I smile more, and a smile looks great on anyone. Weight loss and especially exercise have improved my gait and made my movements more natural and graceful. That’s far more attractive than the snail’s pace, breathless lumbering I was doing when I weighed 365. I’m also far more active, and I get out and about more. These days I’m only in my house long enough to sleep a few hours, shower and change before I hit the ground running again.

Another excellent post Kasey.  You have so much wisdom and insight, I think this can only be of help to you in sustaining what you have achieved so far and carrying you on with your journey. janice

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Adding to my post: I meant that AFTER the weight-loss I went through being treated normal. I also begun to see that men ‘looked’ my way, but I’m NOT single .It did make me feel good:) Nice to be noticed glo

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When I weighed over 259 ( over 25 years ago) I was treated so differantly , like a very NORMAL person I think. It felt really strange plus I WAS NOT prpared for this! I went through a mourning unllike I never dreamed would happen!! But this was also a VERY GOOD thing:) I will NEVER go back to that weight, NOT EVER!!!! The mind is strange ! This WHOLE eating thing IS IN THE MIND for MOST of us! glo

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Well, I’m not actually 100% sure how much I weigh cause the scale at

the doctor’s office literally does not go up that high (how embarrassing is that?)  I’m guessing it’s a bit over 400 (scale goes up somewhere past 350. I guess I can carry it somewhat well due to my height (being over 6 foot 6), but still… << According to this body mass index calculator http://nhlbisupport.com/bmi/bmicalc.htm you BMI is about 46.2. That makes you morbidly obese (it’s a medical term; please don’t be offended by it). When I started this way of life in October 2003, my BMI was 55.5. (I’m twice your age and female.) That made me supermorbidly obese. So I was much "heavier" or "fatter" than you. I didn’t know how much I weighed, either, until I went to a bariatric surgeon’s office and he had a scale that went high enough. I did not have gastric bypass surgery. I’ve lost weight through diet and exercise. My point (and I do have one) is that I have been where you are now. Being morbidly and supermorbidly obese  in this society is such a literal and figurative burden that it’s easy to think that losing weight will solve all of one’s problems. Weight loss might solve some of your problems, and give you the energy to better deal with other problems, but life will still be, well, life. In the 16 months since I started this WOL, my favorite cat died after a long and expensive illness; I developed an injury that despite surgery left me with a permanent partial disability; my elderly mother has gone nearly blind; and my house was burglarized, resulting in a $13,000 loss, only two-thirds of which was reimbursed by insurance. Funny how losing weight didn’t prevent those things from happening. On the plus side, as others have pointed out, losing weight will improve your health and quality of life. And when you feel good, you look good. People have told me over the last few months that I smile more, and a smile looks great on anyone. Weight loss and especially exercise have improved my gait and made my movements more natural and graceful. That’s far more attractive than the snail’s pace, breathless lumbering I was doing when I weighed 365. I’m also far more active, and I get out and about more. These days I’m only in my house long enough to sleep a few hours, shower and change before I hit the ground running again. There is a man on this group who started out weighing more than 400 pounds. I hope he comes along with some encouragement. He is one of the many heroes on mine on alt.support.diet. Wayward, you can improve your health and quality of life. I hope you’ll stay and try. I’ll be cheering for you. As always, YMMV. Kasey 365/215/???

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The thing is…you get thinner and fitter, you will feel healthier, you will be able to do more things with more energy, you will feel positive about having done something about what bothers you….but you will still be you. Don’t focus entirely on your weight as the reason for your lack of connecting with the opposite sex. Its really NOT about looks at the heart of it, or most of us would never find anyone. So, for you, its more likely to be low self esteem and confidence that is the turn off, maybe poor social skills, the way you think about relationships (i.e. if you think women are so shallow its only looks they want, you are sabotaging yourself). Personally, I think that a romantic relationship is the cherry on the cake. Its not the cake. First thing to do is start building yourself a great cake. Get yourself out there, involved in things that mean something to do and give you pleasure, and that will let you meet people. Probably will help with your weight loss as well to be out of the house, doing volunteer work, taking classes, or participating in some club or activity thats fun and interesting. If nothing else, you will feel better just for being more active, and being out there will give you lots of practice in meeting people, talking to them, socializing. Never mind that you are off the couch and away from the doritos! The very best foundation for lasting romance is friendship – so if you work on being more interested in life, more involved, and meeting more people, chances are you are going to find someone out there who you connect with, particularly if you connect with someone who’s doing the same hobby you happen to enjoy. My 2 cents. Its not about the weight, so don’t use that as an excuse. Mary G.

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I was on Lithium for 16 years ( and ASD for nine). I gained two pounds a week on lithium until I reached 219. In January of 200, after losing 86 pounds, I did what you did, got off meds in general. The main effect has been outbreaks of affected and confrontational posts from time to time, but happily only tiny (and what could be considered normal) blips of depression. Actually you can call then "disappointments" like having differences with someone or suffering some kind of minor frustration like gaining five pounds.

Wow, I just thought you were Dramatic!  I didn’t know there was some underlying pathology.  :-) Gwendal

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- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I work in a grocery store, and I have several regular customers who I consider to be friends. One is a guy who comes in 4 nights a week. He always calls even though we don’t forget his special order anymore. We chat on the phone and then again when he comes in. He is morbidly obese, I would guess at least 300lbs, probably more. I am 209, and he is a lot larger than me. But he is a really nice guy, and I genuinely care about him. He doesn’t have internet access, so I have looked up information for him. Both health issues and other stuff. We also talk about weight issues, and I have gently sugested the E word (exercise). I have also told him that if he wants to go walking, I’ll be happy to walk with him. If he wants to get a bike, I’ll rollerblade with him. I do worry about his health. I would hate to see him get ill or disabled. But I think he is a great guy and certainly worth my time. He’s one of the few people at work who I gave a Christmas gift to.

Meghan, as long as you’re taking all these baby steps to improve your life, why don’t you call him up and ask him out? A friend you care about who is a great guy… please consider this one of those moments when someone smacks you up long side the head and causes you to have a light bulb come on.  :-) Gwendal

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to choke out these words: My husband was obese when I met him, morbidly obese when I married him, and I guess he still is, though he’s more fit.  And you know, I love him anyway .

my aunt was not obese – not even close – when she married her second husband (over 30 years ago).  but as the years went by, she became morbidly obese.  and my uncle loved her just the same, and AFAIK, didn’t hassle her about her weight or anything. i saw her Christmas for the first time in oh, maybe 2 years.  i couldn’t believe it was the same person; she must have had the surgery – she was rail thin!  but you should have seen her before she lost the weight.  she’d had multiple surgeries on her knees, and it was a struggle for her to get around.  and now that the weight’s gone, she can walk normally.  the only thing is that she’s slightly hunched – no doubt from carrying so much weight for so long.  The Surgery [TM] isn’t for everyone, and people do die from it, but i’m glad she had it, and even tho we’re feuding ATM, i love her and am glad that she had it and became more slim. i remember she used to have to lean against things when standing cos she just couldn’t support herself.  damn, did i take the spotlight away from the OP?  i’ll quit now. david

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I see your point, and , rationally you’re right, but I probably don’t have to tell you how emotions are always rational, huh? There is a man on this group who started out weighing more than 400 pounds. I hope he comes along with some encouragement. He is one of the many heroes on mine on alt.support.diet.

His name is Smokey and he still pops in from time to time.  He lost 200 pounds following a sensible diet and exercise.  His main form of exercise was walking.  Hopefully he’s lurking and will see your post.  IIRC he lost his weight over a period of about a year and a half.

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WOL?

Way of Life.  We also use WOE: Way of Eating. As always, YMMV.

Your Mileage May Vary.  (WOL and WOE are specific to the diet newsgroups, as far as I know (also abbreviated AFAIK, by the way (also abbreviated BTW)).  YMMV is pretty widely used in usenet, as are AFAIK, BTW, and a bunch of other stuff. And, while I haven’t answered your original post yet, I did want to mention one thing.  My husband was obese when I met him, morbidly obese when I married him, and I guess he still is, though he’s more fit.  And you know, I love him anyway .  Finding love doesn’t happen for everyone, regardless of their build, but if you’re fortunate it will happen for you no matter what you look like.  A good woman will be looking beyond superficial things.  But there are all kinds of other great reasons for becoming more healthy and fit.  And it’s likely — as others have said — that it will help your self-esteem and mood, which will in turn make you more attractive to others. Chris 262/134/(130-140) started dieting July 2002, maintaining since June 2004

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According to this body mass index calculator http://nhlbisupport.com/bmi/bmicalc.htm

Huh, always thought it was funny how those "ideal weight by height" scales always seemed to stop at 6′ 2′  so sometimes I’d just think, "Hey, I’ll bet I’m the perfect cause they don’t go up to my height…" Hehehe you BMI is about 46.2. That makes you morbidly obese (it’s a medical term; please don’t be offended by it). I did not have gastric bypass surgery. I’ve lost weight through diet and exercise.

Yeah, was it your article I was reading in another thread?  (Would have to double check the user names… ) My point (and I do have one) is that I have been where you are now. Being morbidly and supermorbidly obese  in this society is such a literal and figurative burden that it’s easy to think that losing weight will solve all of one’s problems. Weight loss might solve some of your problems, and give you the energy to better deal with other problems, but life will still be, well, life. In the 16 months since I started this WOL,

WOL? Funny how losing weight didn’t prevent those things from happening.

I see your point, and , rationally you’re right, but I probably don’t have to tell you how emotions are always rational, huh?   On the plus side, as others have pointed out, losing weight will improve your health and quality of life. And when you feel good, you look good. People have told me over the last few months that I smile more, and a smile looks great on anyone. I’m also far more active, and I get out and about more. These days I’m only in my house long enough to sleep a few hours, shower and change before I hit the ground running again. There is a man on this group who started out weighing more than 400 pounds. I hope he comes along with some encouragement. He is one of the many heroes on mine on alt.support.diet.

I’ll keep my eye out for him, maybe he can give me some advice.   Wayward, you can improve your health and quality of life. I hope you’ll stay and try. I’ll be cheering for you. As always, YMMV.

YMMV?  Need to read the abbrev FAQ for this group I guess… "Are you the one telling me to beware?  Cause I’ll tell you where to be!"        -Master Shake, Aqua Teen Hunger Force To respond via email, remove the "54"

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