Depression Learning

Am I BP or "Just" Depressed?

Question:

Hi, I’ve just subscribed to the group because, although I’ve been diagnosed with depression, I’ve had what I believe are BP symptoms and wanted to find out if my experiences are similar to anyone else’s. A brief history: I had my first depressive episode at 17, was on Triavil for 3 years, was hospitalized for 3 months at age 20, experienced violent rages, and was intermittently suicidal. I continued to experience inappropriate anger, occasional severe rages, and extreme highs and lows throughout any given day (which has been my behavior since early teen years) with no middle ground, but led a "normal," "successful" life until age 34, when in late summer I became so depressed that I couldn’t concentrate or block out destructive, intrusive thoughts. The rages returned, and my roller-coaster days, which I’d become completely accustomed to, suddenly were exaggerated more horribly than I could ever remember experiencing. After two years of drug experimentation–Prozac, Zoloft, Nortriptaline, Desipramine, Nortrip. + Lithium (as a catalyst, my psychiatrist explained)–I tried Wellbutrin, which relieved my depression and, with the help of regular Lorazepam, much of my hyperness. Now I’m 37, still on the Well. + Loraz., and very recently have been experiencing both severe depression and uncontrollable hyperness in thought, speech, movement, energy, often with pretty severe agitation–A to B back to A, oops, B again all within three to four hours. I’m a highly task-oriented, productive person anyway; when I’m hyper, there’s no limit. But it’s not comfortable. I feel that I can’t control what I do, and my mind is so hyped on so many projects simultaneously that often I become temporarily confused. I gain tremendous joy in extravagance, purchasing too-expensive gifts for people, sometimes for myself, definitely on impulse, knowing it’s not called for or needed or the best step financially, but I’ve never put my finances in jeopardy. When I’m hyper, I can’t stop being "on," telling jokes, being the office clown or cheerleader, for which I receive a wonderful and appreciative response, but I’m not in control. I read a few messages about rapid cycling this evening, and wondered whether my experiences would be considered that. Thanks a lot for plowing through what must seem a self-absorbed little bio; I just wanted to send out any info that might help you help me understand what’s going on. Thanks, too, for any shared experiences and/or guidance. Cat

Response:

Hi, I’ve just subscribed to the group because, although I’ve been diagnosed with depression, I’ve had what I believe are BP symptoms and wanted to find out if my experiences are similar to anyone else’s.

The only way to determine your diagnosis is to be evaluated by a psychologist(PhD) who specializes in mood disorders (affective disorders) *and* a psychiatrist who is very up to date concerning psychopharmacology. A common finding among we ‘mental’ health care consumers is that there are a lot of "inaccurate" diagnoses out there.   (Hey, folks, see how nicely I worded that?)                               <good things snipped                                                 After two years of drug experimentation–Prozac, Zoloft, Nortriptaline, Desipramine, Nortrip. + Lithium (as a catalyst, my psychiatrist explained)–I tried Wellbutrin, which relieved my depression and, with the help of regular Lorazepam, much of my hyperness. Now I’m 37, still on the Well. + Loraz.,                                                                                           =

           When a person has bipolar disorder, any antidepressant (especially an SSRI)has the potential of triggering mania or hypom= ania when unaccompanied by a mood stabilizer (there are several drugs used to stabilize mood.) In addition, sedatives such as loraze= pam have a depressive effect on some people.                                                                                        =                           When I’m hyper, Ican’t stop being "on," telling jokes, being the office clown orcheerleader, for which=  I receive a wonderful and appreciative responsebut I’m not in control.I read a few messages about rapid cycling this evening, a= nd wonderedwhether my experiences would be considered that. Thanks a lot for plowingthrough what must seem a self-absorbed littl= e bio; I just wanted to sendout any info that might help you help me understand what’s going on.Thanks, too, for any shared expe= riences and/or guidance. Although what you describe is similar to some of my ‘mixed-state’ experiences, there are several psychiatric disorders in which episodes of depression, hyperactivity and grandiosity are symptoms.  That is why I would refer you to the above specialists.  Please try to understand that bipolar disorder is  individualized, yet certain criteria are required for an accurate diagnosis.                                               I can certainly empathize with your pain.  The lack of control is, in itself, a source of severe anxiety.  That alone would be enough to put some people under.  I admire your strength.   Please feel free to post here whenever you need us.  I have found many cyberfriends who don’t judge me and really do understand how I feel.  If you just want to ‘talk’, don’t hesitate to email me.  As I and several others have recommended before, check out the Pendulum Pages…a comprehensive web site with very good links for further info about Bipolar Disorder.                                                         Best wishes and hugs to you,                                             Delane                                                                   "Am I paranoid, or is quackery rampant?"                  

Response:

Related Depression Posts

• Interesting table
• Tiredness and Depression
• what med; can I ask tomorrow?
• Need advice from folks who know about SSRIs
• Don't know what to do–stinkin' thinkin' ahead
• Depressing day
• Margrove..Jackie..anybody..med question – help.