Depression Learning

Alprazolam (Xanax) feedback needed, please.

Question:

   My anxiety is "situatonal," clearly arising out of GAD caused by low self-esteem from childhood and romantic rejection (three divorcings, about 10 years between each).  I’ve had one-to-three year melancholia-Major Depression-GAD after each.  With the endorphins of a new love, the anxiety-MD dragon goes to sleep until the next romantic dumping.  This actually started during dating in high school.

Why do I keep thinking of that song Addicted To Love by Robert Palmer? But to be serious, I know that *love* and infatuation can make this thing much more livable for a time.  Unfortunately, we can’t STAY in that place forever, which is a shamo, IMO.      It got *really* bad after college LSD usage -which I stopped 26 years ago.  I’m now 48.  A really bad LSD overdose left me *keenly* aware of any chemical influence on my consciousness.  I can distinctly feel the effect on me of aspartame (NutraSweet) and MSG (monosodium glutamate).  No, the food-additive reaction is not my imagination …I passed a double-blind test.

I can beleive that, as cutting out things along the way have helped me too.  Sugar and caffiene are big NO NO’s for me.  Just now am paying attention to MSG – my gawd it is everywhere!  Drugs will do that, had some nasty experiences with cocaine myself.  Don’t know if that is a factor now, am putting that behind me and wouldn’t know about LSD – too chicken to ever try it, kinda glad I never did.    About 5 to 7 days into the break-in period of an a-d med, I get a doubled-to-tripled anxiety level.  I’m not exaggerating there.  (As noted above, I have already have GAD-type anxiety arising from melancholia and Major Depression).  But the anxiety I already feel gets distinctly more intense, to where I absolutely *cannot* bear it another day and have to bail out of the anti-depressant med

This is pretty typical for SSRI/AD adjustment and a week isn’t really enough time to know how it is gonna work for you.  But I totally undersatnd the feeling – I was calling my doc DAILY to be assured this was normal and had to up to benzos during this time.    The following may be of interest to some folks:  After being unable to tolerate 5 different man-made a-d meds, I started taking St. John’s Wort (herb remedy) seven days ago.

Actually, you don’t KNOW that.  Takes longer than a week.  But that is solely your decision.  Something I had not yet tried was using an anti-anxiety med along with the anti-depressant to counteract the anxiety-increase side-effect.

Always a good back-up when starting an AD.    More points for feedback:  Gang, what does Xanax make *you* feel? Please cover both its mental and physical affect(s).  Drugged stupor? Merely kinda drowsy?  Just "calm"?  Or the blissful peace we all seek? Fear-free, but still kinda depressed? Did you note any increase in depression?

Xanax makes me feel…..normal.  No irrational fear.  And I WILL feel fear when appropriate.  Was drowsy on it when I started as I hadn’t built up a tolerance to that side effect.  Now I start my day with one and it doesn’t make me in the least bit tired.  No bliss – unless being releived of fear is bliss – then a definite YES there.  Depression is a whole nuther thing to me.  That can come and go, and does as I am on Paxil and some days are better than others – but I have felt no correlation to that and Xanax.  I was on X before the Paxil, so don’t think it was that that caused the depression – perhaps 11 years of seeing how my life has drastically changed did it.  :)    A final note about "Paradoxical reactions and me"…  the painkiller Percocet does not make me feel sedated (as the PDR book says it should).  It makes me feel like what I hear Prozac or Paxil do for many of y’all!  A Percocet makes me feel "the love of life" again.  Upbeat attitude, energetic, good appetite, sense of humor…   But I know better than to "get into" relying on it.  Tooo many real bad problems would be the end result.  No thanks.  But I gotta say, THIS particular paradoxical reaction is profoundly frustrating.  Grrr!

Percocet is known to make MANY people feel quite good, me included.  Guess that is why they are real careful about prescribing it as so many get addicted to the *feel good* feeling.  I don’t think that is a paradoxical effect, per se.  Glad to hear you don’t want to *get into* it.  I hope the St. Johns works for you as well as the Xanax.  Will be interesting to hear as most I have read has said it is not very effective for deep (clinical) depression and if you have been prescribed all those AD’s, the docs must think it is serious.  Let us know what happens and best wishes to you! — Gwen Everyone has a photographic memory…    some just don’t have film.          (remove ** to Email)

Response:

<snip On a side note, my doctor wants to get me off of Xanax by december. I do not see this being realistic but I do not know how to admit this since I am well aware my panic attacks are mental and I *should* be able to control them without drugs.

This shouldn’t even be a "side note". If the meds are working for you and you are only taking such a small amount …IMO, your doctor is an ass and you should look for someone who understands PD better and can work with you on this. "Panic Attacks" typically are not just "mental"…they are aphysiological problem….just like epiplepsy. Would this doctor take you off Dilantin for seizures if you were an epileptic…I doubt it…. Please, do yourself a favor, and find a doc who knows more about PD and get another opinion…. Best Wishes, Jen

Response:

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – JR, like you, I am unsure of what sort of help to get. I am particularly embarrased for having experimented in larger amounts a potentially dangerous drug and I am too proud to admit my abuse of it to those close to me. I do not want to tell my doctor that I’m relatively sure LSD brought out the PD in me. What can be done about it, I don’t know. I am on .25mg Xanax though, and it does a fine job of keeping my panic attacks away without making me overly drowsy. On a side note, my doctor wants to get me off of Xanax by december. I do not see this being realistic but I do not know how to admit this since I am well aware my panic attacks are mental and I *should* be able to control them without drugs. I have no experience with LSD, some other street drugs, but not this one. I think the fact that panic runs in your family is a biggie – as I, too, feel mine was brought to the surface by my drug use.  I can’t comment on your keeping this a secret, for that is certainly your choice.  I know I felt better when I came clean about what I did and had to do alot of work in therapy (an still am) to stop beating myself up for a stupid decision I made 16 years ago.  I have made sure my docs know about the former abuse as I want them to be aware of all parts of me.  Knowing this the response has typically been – well, you probably would have gotten it anyways, maybe not as soon or as bad, but no one knows.  Soooo…what I am trying to say here is I don’t think of panic attacks as mental – they are REAL physical reactions to altered brain chemistry gone whacko.  Whether heredity did it or the drugs matters not now.  I need benzos to keep things relatively in sync.  I don’t know if you have done any rehab/group stuff – but I know those *shoulds* can really bite ya in the ass.  It is a word I any trying to eliminate from my vocabulary because they make me feel worse more times than not.  If the Xanax is working for you, I would hate to see you get back into suffering because you *think* you should be able to do this without it. But again – that is totally a personal choice.  Best wishes. — Gwen On the other hand…. …….you have different fingers.         (remove ** to Email)

Hi all One thing that I have a hard time understanding is why some doctors seem hell bent on getting some off of benzo’s like xanax, etc. If these meds are helping one lead a "normal life" why in the world try to change that. if I was a Doc. and could tell my patient was receiving relief and was functioning normally due to using the med, I would certainly not try and remove that med until I counselled with the patient to see how the progress is. Just to say to someone, "Well, I want you off of …., by December" is shortsighted to me and irresponsible. Am I making sense….:) Take care Jim — Delete ** in my address to email me (no spam)

Response:

  I need some feedback from Real People about the effect(s) of alprazolam (Xanax).   <snipped message Regards, JR

JR… Prozac and I have had that "opposite" effect symdrome…and yet I can take Paxil. As far as Xanax…I have a "rush" feeling when I first take one. Sort of like a mini PA, but then it does it’s work for me. I too have had problems with other chemicals and foods…"Equal" etc. I just try to stay away from them and read every label about every food etc, especially since I am allergic to all shellfish and mollusks. Sorry you are having these problems…I would say try the Xanax, but that would be for me and not for you. Hope things improve soon! Jody

Response:

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hi group  :)   I need some feedback from Real People about the effect(s) of alprazolam (Xanax).   <snipped message Regards, JR I can’t help you here, but I just wanted to let you know that I appreciate you telling us your story and drug reactions.  The more this group reads about individual reactions, the more we all know, and maybe we can help the next person. Good luck with your medication experimentation!   Lori from SF Madness takes its toll. Please have change.

Hi Jr I have been on Alprazolam for 3 years + and I have to say that it has been a real godsend for me. I have had no real side effects other than the blessed relief from the "beast" of anxiety. I take 2 to 3 .5 mg tablets a day, it all depends on how my day unfolds meaning how severe the anxiety is. Somedays I can get by fine with 1 .5mg tab in morning and 1 .5 mg tab at night. other days I take as needed. I also have heard very posistive results from the drug "imipramine’ that has helped many to function normally and this is worth looking into. I am going to talk to my doctor about trying it. Take care of yourself and I hope one day we will all be able to find "the cure" for this horrible disorder called anxiety/panic. it truly is horrible and very draining. My best wishes to you…. Jim

Response:

: Hi group  :) Hi JR, Just a few thoughts on your post… I’m not sure your reaction to some meds is truly "paradoxical." SRI meds (like Prozac, Paxil, etc.) are known to typically raise anxiety while your body adjusts to them over several weeks. Sometimes doctors are unaware of this, which may account for your confusing experiences. These days, doctors "in-the-know" prescribe a benzodiazepine med (such as Xanax) to help patients through the SRI adjustment phase. As for what Xanax makes us feel… Well, in my experience, I’ve felt nothing special beyond my anxiety being abated. I’ve never felt drunk, tranquilized, spaced-out, or anything like that while taking Xanax (up to 1mg/day in my case). Xanax just brings my anxiety/panic down to normal levels, and I’ve never had withdraw problems with it either. Xanax takes effect quickly (within 30 minutes) and wears off over a few hours. :    Has *anybody* else here tried an anti-anxiety med (or herb) during : the adjustment period of St. John’s Wort? Not me. When using herbs, excercise caution about dosage, since herbal potency can vary quite a bit.                                         Best Wishes,                                         Arthur

Response:

Hi group  :)   I need some feedback from Real People about the effect(s) of alprazolam (Xanax).   <snipped message Regards, JR

I can’t help you here, but I just wanted to let you know that I appreciate you telling us your story and drug reactions.  The more this group reads about individual reactions, the more we all know, and maybe we can help the next person. Good luck with your medication experimentation!   Lori from SF Madness takes its toll. Please have change.

Response:

~~~snipping just to save bandwidth~~~   About 5 to 7 days into the break-in period of an a-d med, I get a doubled-to-tripled anxiety level.  I’m not exaggerating there.  (As noted above, I have already have GAD-type anxiety arising from melancholia and Major Depression).  But the anxiety I already feel gets distinctly more intense, to where I absolutely *cannot* bear it another day and have to bail out of the anti-depressant med.  I’ve tried different *chemical* types, such as Prozac, Zoloft, Desipramine, Paxil, and Wellbutrin.  Same result …great intensification of my anxiety level 5 to 7 days into the a-d med.

Just wondering.  Were you started out on ADs at a dosage level waaaay below the generally recommended amount by the pharmaceutical companies?   Many folks with GAD/PD can’t handle the "normal" recommended beginning dose rate – the side effects such as increased anxiety and PAs can be unbearable.  It’s been found that starting out at a fraction of the recommended dose and slowly, very slowly, building up from that helps tremendously.  OTOH, many have found that they just can’t handle ADs period.  <sigh   Oh yes, were you given any benzo type meds to help with the side effects when started on ADs? That can make an incredible difference apparently.   The following may be of interest to some folks:  After being unable to tolerate 5 different man-made a-d meds, I started taking St. John’s Wort (herb remedy) seven days ago.  It is said to "act" (biochemically) similarly to the SSRIs (or MAOIs).  Well, I’m getting the anxiety-increase with it too, manifested at the same point in time as when systemic buildup of a synthetic (man-made) a-d med occurs!

Interesting!  And very good info to post here as there is great curiousity about SJW and it’s possible use for GAD/PD. Something I had not yet tried was using an anti-anxiety med along with the anti-depressant to counteract the anxiety-increase side-effect.  So this time, I’m taking half a 0.5 mg tablet of Xanax twice a day to fight down the anxiety side-effect while I get used to the SJW build-up in my brain chemistry.

Oooops!  Guess I should have read your post all the way through first. <g   You just answered my question above.  Oh well, not going to erase it – too lazy.  :)   More points for feedback:  Gang, what does Xanax make *you* feel? Please cover both its mental and physical affect(s).  Drugged stupor? Merely kinda drowsy?  Just "calm"?  Or the blissful peace we all seek? Fear-free, but still kinda depressed? Did you note any increase in depression?

Have used Xanax for countless years on and off (breaks of a year or two here and there), in my case when I first started it it was instant relief (when the dosage was raised to the point where it stopped the PAs – 4 mg a day in my case), rubbery knees and very dozy but in a blissful state of freedom from panic and anxiety.   The rubbery knees and doziness vanished within days and I got happily accustomed to being PA free except for the occasional "burp" of a PA – which I would immediately counter with Xanax.   How long (in hours) does a 0.5 mg tab affect each of you?

This will vary for each individual.   It’s definitely a YMMV scenario.   Has *anybody* else here tried an anti-anxiety med (or herb) during the adjustment period of St. John’s Wort?

Not me.   Hopefully someone here has and will post or email you.  But SJW has only very recently been discussed as a possible anti-anxiety med, so you may be taking one giant leap for GAD/PDers here.  :)   So far (two times), a full 0.5 mg tablet makes me feel distinctly drowsy, with at least "some" relief from the dread and fear feelings. The 0.5 mg. I took last night on a near-empty stomach made me unable to type properly on the PC after a while.  I then laid down (two hours earlier than normal) to a sound sleep until 4:30 AM, when the usual intense dream (AT THE SAME HOUR nightly) of my ex-wife woke me up.  No really restful sleep after such dreams, also as usual.  (Does anybody smell an obsession-disorder here?)  

I think a few have posted about waking at the same time constantly, often after an often repeated dream.  As far as possible OCD, I haven’t any idea.   Again, hopefully someone else will be far more knowledgable and post. ~~~’nother snip~~~   A final note about "Paradoxical reactions and me"…  the painkiller Percocet does not make me feel sedated (as the PDR book says it should).  It makes me feel like what I hear Prozac or Paxil do for many of y’all!  A Percocet makes me feel "the love of life" again.  Upbeat attitude, energetic, good appetite, sense of humor…   But I know better than to "get into" relying on it.  Tooo many real bad problems would be the end result.  No thanks.  But I gotta say, THIS particular paradoxical reaction is profoundly frustrating.  Grrr!

Paradoxical reactions to meds lead to interesting medical treatments. Just look at the use of Ritalin for ADHD!   It’s a stimulant, but works like a charm as a focusing, attention span stretching, calming med for many ADHD patients.  Sadly, it’s another extremely beneficial med with a bad rep because of uninformed, biased anti-med organizations and many medical practitioners.  Ack!  Better not get started on that.  But your reaction to Percocet *might* give you and your doc some clues on possible meds that would normally be contra-indicated for anxiety.  Have you discussed this reaction that you have with him/her? Good luck!  Let us know how you’re doing won’t you? Mally  :)

Response:

Hi group  :)    I need some feedback from Real People about the effect(s) of alprazolam (Xanax).  Yeah, I’ve already read The PDR Pocket Guide and some threads here.  My situation is a bit different from those I’ve seen in this newsgroup, though.  *Any* helpful info you can contribute would be appreciated.    As the few of you who saw my buried/lost Personal Intro post know, I’ve had what my pdoc calls a "paradoxical" reaction to each of the anti-depressant meds he’s prescribed for me.  In this case, paradoxical means opposite, like how the amphetamine Ritalin affects hyperactive kids.  (Calms ‘em down.)    My anxiety is "situatonal," clearly arising out of GAD caused by low self-esteem from childhood and romantic rejection (three divorcings, about 10 years between each).  I’ve had one-to-three year melancholia-Major Depression-GAD after each.  With the endorphins of a new love, the anxiety-MD dragon goes to sleep until the next romantic dumping.  This actually started during dating in high school.    It got *really* bad after college LSD usage -which I stopped 26 years ago.  I’m now 48.  A really bad LSD overdose left me *keenly* aware of any chemical influence on my consciousness.  I can distinctly feel the effect on me of aspartame (NutraSweet) and MSG (monosodium glutamate).  No, the food-additive reaction is not my imagination …I passed a double-blind test.    About 5 to 7 days into the break-in period of an a-d med, I get a doubled-to-tripled anxiety level.  I’m not exaggerating there.  (As noted above, I have already have GAD-type anxiety arising from melancholia and Major Depression).  But the anxiety I already feel gets distinctly more intense, to where I absolutely *cannot* bear it another day and have to bail out of the anti-depressant med.  I’ve tried different *chemical* types, such as Prozac, Zoloft, Desipramine, Paxil, and Wellbutrin.  Same result …great intensification of my anxiety level 5 to 7 days into the a-d med.    The following may be of interest to some folks:  After being unable to tolerate 5 different man-made a-d meds, I started taking St. John’s Wort (herb remedy) seven days ago.  It is said to "act" (biochemically) similarly to the SSRIs (or MAOIs).  Well, I’m getting the anxiety-increase with it too, manifested at the same point in time as when systemic buildup of a synthetic (man-made) a-d med occurs!  Something I had not yet tried was using an anti-anxiety med along with the anti-depressant to counteract the anxiety-increase side-effect.  So this time, I’m taking half a 0.5 mg tablet of Xanax twice a day to fight down the anxiety side-effect while I get used to the SJW build-up in my brain chemistry.    More points for feedback:  Gang, what does Xanax make *you* feel? Please cover both its mental and physical affect(s).  Drugged stupor? Merely kinda drowsy?  Just "calm"?  Or the blissful peace we all seek? Fear-free, but still kinda depressed? Did you note any increase in depression?    How long (in hours) does a 0.5 mg tab affect each of you?    Has *anybody* else here tried an anti-anxiety med (or herb) during the adjustment period of St. John’s Wort?    So far (two times), a full 0.5 mg tablet makes me feel distinctly drowsy, with at least "some" relief from the dread and fear feelings. The 0.5 mg. I took last night on a near-empty stomach made me unable to type properly on the PC after a while.  I then laid down (two hours earlier than normal) to a sound sleep until 4:30 AM, when the usual intense dream (AT THE SAME HOUR nightly) of my ex-wife woke me up.  No really restful sleep after such dreams, also as usual.  (Does anybody smell an obsession-disorder here?)      Perhaps I should also note that my sister has been taking Tranxene (clorazepate) for four years now, since her divorce.  No anti-depressants; just that one anti-anxiety med.  She says one tablet in the morning keeps her anxiety away. She takes two-per-day for the tougher periods like facing Christmas unmarried.  Of course I tried Tranxene, but with frequent (twice daily) use it *really* deepened my depression after 7 -10 days.  (Another paradoxical reaction in me. <sigh)      A final note about "Paradoxical reactions and me"…  the painkiller Percocet does not make me feel sedated (as the PDR book says it should).  It makes me feel like what I hear Prozac or Paxil do for many of y’all!  A Percocet makes me feel "the love of life" again.  Upbeat attitude, energetic, good appetite, sense of humor…   But I know better than to "get into" relying on it.  Tooo many real bad problems would be the end result.  No thanks.  But I gotta say, THIS particular paradoxical reaction is profoundly frustrating.  Grrr! Regards, JR — Note to: To reply to this message by private Email (or to reply to Post AND author simultaneously), you’ll need to remove the two anti-spam extra letters "ny" from johnnyreb in my otherwise-real reply-address. Make it say johnreb instead of johnny.

Response:

Hi group  :)    I need some feedback from Real People about the effect(s) of alprazolam (Xanax).  Yeah, I’ve already read The PDR Pocket Guide and some threads here.  My situation is a bit different from those I’ve seen in this newsgroup, though.  *Any* helpful info you can contribute would be appreciated.

Hi, JR – I’ll do my best…. <words snipped to save space    More points for feedback:  Gang, what does Xanax make *you* feel? Please cover both its mental and physical affect(s).  Drugged stupor? Merely kinda drowsy?  Just "calm"?  Or the blissful peace we all seek? Fear-free, but still kinda depressed? Did you note any increase in depression?

It makes me feel normal. Exactly that. Just like I used to feel when I was a young teenager, before I started experiencing anxiety states. Occasionally, it has made me drowsy, though that’s rare. In terms of its effect on depression, Xanax has a noted antidepressant effect on some people (I am one, as it happens), so no – no depression with it for me.    How long (in hours) does a 0.5 mg tab affect each of you?

Impossible to say as I take 1Mg. By and large I would say the full effect lasts 6-8 hours but possibly longer – I have even noticed a slight mood-lifting and anxiolytic effect the day after. *Please* bear in mind that the variation in individual response to a medication like this is enormous. I have come across people who fall asleep if they as much a sniff a 0.25Mg tablet of Xanax while others happily chomp 6-8Mg. per day…    Has *anybody* else here tried an anti-anxiety med (or herb) during the adjustment period of St. John’s Wort?

Not personally.    So far (two times), a full 0.5 mg tablet makes me feel distinctly drowsy, with at least "some" relief from the dread and fear feelings. The 0.5 mg. I took last night on a near-empty stomach made me unable to type properly on the PC after a while.  I then laid down (two hours earlier than normal) to a sound sleep until 4:30 AM, when the usual intense dream (AT THE SAME HOUR nightly) of my ex-wife woke me up.  No really restful sleep after such dreams, also as usual.  (Does anybody smell an obsession-disorder here?)  

I certainly get the feeling there is more going on here than "mere" GAD, you know. It’s not my business to comment and I’m most certainly not qualified to diagnose, but have you ever been checked-out for OCD? <rest snipped Hope that’s some help, JR. Good luck and let us know how you get on, won’t you? — Gary Cooper

Response:

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