Depression Learning

A small cry for help with suicidal feelings

Question:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Kathi Matthews wrote: > In article <38D386B5.1BE85…@cyberwizards.com.au>, CPD > <car…@cyberwizards.com.au> writes: > >Well said, LaVonne.  I’ve been there too.  Diazepam is bad stuff for > >some people.  It’s also addictive.  I got addicted to it after being > >persuaded by a doctor to take it, and I got NO help to get off it > >again.  I did it alone.  This loss of control that you describe is > >familiar to me from that period, but I had not associated it with the > >diazepam until I read your post.  And you’re right.  In retrospect I can > >see that it did indeed coincide with its use.  I never understood it > >until now.  I’ve been offered the stuff again a number of times since > >then, but I’m very scared of it > Does Lorazepam (Ativan) have this same effect (losing control) .  I take this > and have not noticed it.  In fact, it calms me down so I DON"T go berzerk. :=}

Kathi It does me.  I just threw out a whole prescription minus half a pill because just that little made me lose enough control that I didn’t like it and didn’t want to chance more. But like all meds, Diazepam (Valium) and Lorazepam (Ativan) are good for some folks and not others.  Some folks have side effects that aren’t pleasant and some do well. But any unexpected change in behavior when on meds should be looked into.  It sometimes takes a while to have a side effect, particularly like this, to show up.  I had to discover this myself when I went off the stuff and the world started to look different to me.  It’s strange that my doc never noticed even though I saw him often and told him the stuff that was happening.  Only after I let him have it one day and he checked with his atty. who said to drop me because I might sue – so I had to find a new doc – was the drug stopped and I figured out what was happening.  Course I didn’t care much when coming down off the stuff but it sure made a difference in my life and those around me after I was off the drug.       L

Response:

On Sat, 18 Mar 2000 09:24:13 GMT, LaVonne Murphy <mscan…@att.net> wrote: >Mark A Goodwin FInstSMM wrote: >>  My wife is the MS’er in our house and >> there are times when she is really down.  So much so that she has screamed >> and physically attacked me when I have gone to her to enquire if she needs >> anything. >GET HELP!  Talk to her!  Get her into a rehab center for drug addiction >so they can get her off the drug with a minimum of discomfort. >I hardly know how to express this strongly enough through a post here. >Your wife is a danger to herself, you and any kids you may have.  And >it’s likely the drug she is using.

I have a "paradoxical" reaction to valium and other similar drugs.  I become highly agitated, unable to sit still, and very anxious.  I understand that this is not uncommon. There are better drugs, in my opinion, for both depression and spasm than valium.  However, it is important NOT to try and discontinue it without medical help if you’ve been using it for any period of time. The process of discontinuing it can be physically dangerous and may involve seizure. Kate

Response:

On 18 Mar 2000 22:34:47 GMT, kamatth…@aol.com (Kathi Matthews) wrote: >Does Lorazepam (Ativan) have this same effect (losing control) .  I take this >and have not noticed it.  In fact, it calms me down so I DON"T go berzerk. :=} >Kathi

Ativan is in the same class as valium.  For you, it seems to be working the way it should as a calmer. I took ativan during chemotherapy.  The doctor insisted that someone be available to drive me home because it was such a powerful sleep inducer. My husband drove me home, tucked me in bed, set the dog to watch me and went back to work.  I got up, got dressed, evaded the dog, and walked over 7 miles before I was too exhausted to go on.  (Bought two pair of wonderful jeans that will never wear out because I’ll never fit into them again.) My husband and son were frantically looking for me and about to call the police when my spree stopped and I called home for help. I then recognized the similar experiences — although not so intense — when I was given valium in the past.   As a side note, I realized even prior to this episode that valium did not agree with me.  When I refused it in the hospital during my first MS hospitalization, they called in the shrinks.   It’s not nice to say no to the nice doctors! Kate

Response:

Hi Mara, One of my early (pre-diagnosis) exacerbations was essentially all deep depression. It was the MS…. I am now on daily anti-depressants – they are my ‘emotional water-wings’! In article <8arb7j$ei…@slb7.atl.mindspring.net>, "Mara" <m…@ix.netcom.com> wrote:

| So I guess my question about the stats is, "Do other people feel like this?" | I am curious if I am alone in these feelings.  I don’t know if the | depression is part of the MS (it started so young) or anyone with MS would | be a little depressed. | | Any answers or information would be gladly received.  If any one wants to | email me please feel free to do so. — Take care James (#11)

Response:

Amen! "Smile! It’s contagious." Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/ Before you buy.

Response:

Mark A Goodwin FInstSMM wrote: >  My wife is the MS’er in our house and > there are times when she is really down.  So much so that she has screamed > and physically attacked me when I have gone to her to enquire if she needs > anything. > Later, she has explained that there is a `buzzing` in her head and she can > do nothing about the feeling that she wants to hurt me (or something I > guess) because she is so depressed and hates everyone and every thing.  When > she is well, she is meek, unconfrontational and very well mannered – Jekyl & > Hyde? > She does take Diazepam for the recurring spasm attacks and I know that this > drug, although an anti depressant can also cause the problem it is designed > to stop..does that make any sense?

Mark What you say here is very important!!  A very few people have psychotic episodes caused by Diazepam which is a depressant and not an antidepressant.  These episodes are loss of control when angry at anything.  Folks strike out at what is nearest to them and sometimes dearest to them (including things and people).  It can be preceded by an increase in depression or accompanied by it.  Folks can be suicidal at times.  Sometimes when they physically attack another person, they are hoping that that person will kill them because they haven’t the courage to do it. Your wife should try Baclofen or Zanaflex for spasm.  If one of these don’t work there is Soma, Flexeril, and a myriad of other antispasmodics.  They can be used in conjunction with Neurontin, Klonopin or one of the other anticonvulsants to relieve the spasm and discomfort of MS. It is important that your wife get off the Diazepam to see if that is the problem.  I would be willing to bet the farm that it is because I have been in that place.  It is not fun to lose control like that and not know why.  It causes intense feelings of shame later though I’ll bet she does not recall all of the things that happen.  She will just recall that she did something and maybe the major event that allowed the volcano to explode and the feelings inside to subside. GET HELP!  Talk to her!  Get her into a rehab center for drug addiction so they can get her off the drug with a minimum of discomfort. I hardly know how to express this strongly enough through a post here. Your wife is a danger to herself, you and any kids you may have.  And it’s likely the drug she is using.       L

Response:

Well said, LaVonne.  I’ve been there too.  Diazepam is bad stuff for some people.  It’s also addictive.  I got addicted to it after being persuaded by a doctor to take it, and I got NO help to get off it again.  I did it alone.  This loss of control that you describe is familiar to me from that period, but I had not associated it with the diazepam until I read your post.  And you’re right.  In retrospect I can see that it did indeed coincide with its use.  I never understood it until now.  I’ve been offered the stuff again a number of times since then, but I’m very scared of it.   Carmel – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -LaVonne Murphy wrote: > Mark A Goodwin FInstSMM wrote: > >  My wife is the MS’er in our house and > > there are times when she is really down.  So much so that she has screamed > > and physically attacked me when I have gone to her to enquire if she needs > > anything. > > Later, she has explained that there is a `buzzing` in her head and she can > > do nothing about the feeling that she wants to hurt me (or something I > > guess) because she is so depressed and hates everyone and every thing.  When > > she is well, she is meek, unconfrontational and very well mannered – Jekyl & > > Hyde? > > She does take Diazepam for the recurring spasm attacks and I know that this > > drug, although an anti depressant can also cause the problem it is designed > > to stop..does that make any sense? > Mark > What you say here is very important!!  A very few people have psychotic > episodes caused by Diazepam which is a depressant and not an > antidepressant.  These episodes are loss of control when angry at > anything.  Folks strike out at what is nearest to them and sometimes > dearest to them (including things and people).  It can be preceded by an > increase in depression or accompanied by it.  Folks can be suicidal at > times.  Sometimes when they physically attack another person, they are > hoping that that person will kill them because they haven’t the courage > to do it. > Your wife should try Baclofen or Zanaflex for spasm.  If one of these > don’t work there is Soma, Flexeril, and a myriad of other > antispasmodics.  They can be used in conjunction with Neurontin, > Klonopin or one of the other anticonvulsants to relieve the spasm and > discomfort of MS. > It is important that your wife get off the Diazepam to see if that is > the problem.  I would be willing to bet the farm that it is because I > have been in that place.  It is not fun to lose control like that and > not know why.  It causes intense feelings of shame later though I’ll bet > she does not recall all of the things that happen.  She will just recall > that she did something and maybe the major event that allowed the > volcano to explode and the feelings inside to subside. > GET HELP!  Talk to her!  Get her into a rehab center for drug addiction > so they can get her off the drug with a minimum of discomfort. > I hardly know how to express this strongly enough through a post here. > Your wife is a danger to herself, you and any kids you may have.  And > it’s likely the drug she is using. >       L

– " Don’t wait for a light to appear at the end of the tunnel.   Stride down there and light the bloody thing yourself." www.cyberwizards.com.au/~carmel www.cyberwizards.com.au/~jaragun

Response:

In article <136f266c.242ab…@usw-ex0108-061.remarq.com>, Betti <bcola1NObcS…@hotmail.com.invalid> writes: >In other words, to maintain the life you envisioned for >yourself, or the one you lived previous to diagnosis, do >whatever is necessary.

Sometimes that is just not possible.  At some point you may *have* to quit working. I did.  I had no choice.  In fact, I kept pushing myself years longer than I should have (of course, I was undiagnosed for a long time). Kathi

Response:

In article <38D386B5.1BE85…@cyberwizards.com.au>, CPD <car…@cyberwizards.com.au> writes: >Well said, LaVonne.  I’ve been there too.  Diazepam is bad stuff for >some people.  It’s also addictive.  I got addicted to it after being >persuaded by a doctor to take it, and I got NO help to get off it >again.  I did it alone.  This loss of control that you describe is >familiar to me from that period, but I had not associated it with the >diazepam until I read your post.  And you’re right.  In retrospect I can >see that it did indeed coincide with its use.  I never understood it >until now.  I’ve been offered the stuff again a number of times since >then, but I’m very scared of it

Does Lorazepam (Ativan) have this same effect (losing control) .  I take this and have not noticed it.  In fact, it calms me down so I DON"T go berzerk. :=} Kathi

Response:

>>What you say here is very important!!  A very few people have psychotic

episodes caused by Diazepam which is a depressant and not an antidepressant.<< Amen, LaVonne!! Anyone who has any form of depression (not just moodiness, but clinical depression…diagnosed or not!) should NOT be taking diazepam or any "tranquilizers".  L gave a good list of suggested alternative meds for spasms, etc… Judith

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